I understand that the ice curlers of Kirk Loch (Lochmaben) had a wee bit of bother with Nanny's health and safety gestapo.Nanny's local council had checked the ice (7-8 inches) for safety and solidity (that will be the global warming then?), and the curlers of Kirk Loch duly began curling.
Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?
Yes, that's right, someone phoned the police to tell them that there people on the ice.
Nanny's police, six of them to be precise (according to "Skip Cottage Curling"), duly turned up to warn of the danger.
However, owing to health and safety rules, they couldn't go onto the ice.
Can you guess what happened next?
Yes, that's right, Nith rescue arrived in a rescue boat. However, owing to health and safety rules, they couldn't go onto the ice either.
Can you guess what happened next?
Yes, that's right, the coast guard arrived!
However, owing to health and safety rules, they couldn't go onto the ice.
Spiffing!
The lesson is clear, those of us who wish to isoloate ourselves from Nanny and her rules just need to stand on some ice!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Well, while they were all standing round freezing their balls off they couldn't be interfereing with other people, and the curlers seem to have had a nice day.
ReplyDeleteResult!
At the risk of quoting the obvious, well obvious for most of us, when you become part of our emergency services, you may be exposed to some risk, if all risk is avoided, then there is no purpose to your role and ordinary people might just as well do it for themselves.......
ReplyDeleteI laughed and then cried on New years eve when the weather girls on Al-Jabeeba told me that the temperature was going to drop below freezing and that I might be better to stay at home and not go out (New year's eve? Not go out? Yeah right!!).....She then went on to say that, if I did feel the need to go out, I should wrap up warm and, because there may be ice about, I should be very careful as the ice may be slippery.....Well thanks for that.....How on Earth have I survived so long without Great Aunty's (Nanny's sister) helpful warnings on the bleedin' obvious....It's a wonder mankind has survived and dominated the planet given that 'elf'n'safety and the "No Risk Culture" has only been around for a couple of decades. How did we manage before this new risk averse culture?...Just luck?
Thank you, and I'm glad you had a wonderful and Nanny-free CHRISTMAS!
ReplyDeleteAs to the 'Dangers of Curling', if you submitted this as a sketch to a wacky comedy show, they would throw it out as - what's the word - STUPID!
Good to have you back.
With Global Warming doing its thing, it strikes me that there could be quite a few "Nanny Free" places around the country soon...
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the film,
ReplyDelete'Dad's Army'. Those who have seen it may recall that some German airmen have captured the vicar, the verger and other civilians at Walmington on Sea, and are holding them captive in the church. The army arrive, and promptly send for assistance, the latter sending for further help. Before long, the navy, air force, police, fire brigade, marines etc have all arrived and haven't a clue how to proceed. Fortunately, Captain Mainwaring and his men, by disguising themselves as clergy, and by a very brave bluff, overpower the Germans, much to the sheer amazement of those waiting outside the church.
opsimath said... "As to the 'Dangers of Curling', if you submitted this as a sketch to a wacky comedy show, they would throw it out as - what's the word -STUPID!"
ReplyDeleteVery true! But don't you think that Nanny's jobsworths ARE stupid?
Just as well the assorted battalions of the H&S Gestapo couldn't go on the ice as no doubt, just as in the Severn swimmer a couple of years ago, Nanny's finest would have been armed with plenty of "sectioning" forms.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy skating on thick ice responsibly.
The REALLY stupid thing is that one of Nanny's favourite minions, the council, had seemingly O.K.'d the curling.
ReplyDeletehttp://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/8441385.stm
ReplyDeleteSee! I was right. It's so obvious. The 'attempted bomb plot' on Christmas Day was obviously to regain public approval for those controversial scanning systems.
I hate to say it, but it's 9/11 all over again - a false flag operation designed to get their own way.
Can you spell 1984?