Good morning my loyal readers,
Another Monday descends upon us like a low hanging rotting fruit falling from the branch.
As I face the start of the post Christmas/New Year working week, and observe the droop of my Christmas trees and sagginess of my tinsel, I have reflected upon the various ways in which I have broken Nanny's rules over the Christmas season:
1 I used the words "Merry Christmas" in my greetings, both oral and written, instead of saying "Happy Holidays".
2 I erected (can I say "erected"?) 3 Christmas trees, without ensuring that they will be replaced (ie they may not come from a sustainable supply).
3 I burned wood in my fireplaces, for visual effect, and used central heating at the same time; thus contributing to green house emissions.
4 I ate Brussels sprouts, thus contributing to greenhouse emissions.
5 I erected (there's that word again!) decorations without taking a course on "Working at Height".
6 I used a step ladder, without taking the requisite "How To Mount a Ladder" training course.
7 I plugged in vast numbers of electrical gadgets, extensions, cables, lights and animations without being professionally qualified to touch electrical equipment.
8 The electricity used in said lights etc, needless to say, will have contributed vastly to "global warming".
9 I drank all manner of stuff, with gusto! (who is "gusto"?).
10 I ate all manner of stuff, with gusto!
I am still alive, and won't be taking down the decorations until next weekend (midway compromise between British and Swedish traditions here in Frost Towers).
Feel free to add to the above list.
Ken
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
7) So long as you "plug in" appliances, you don't need to be qualified, so carry on overloading...
ReplyDeleteHowever if you want to add a couple of sockets to your ring main you need "Part P" certification, thus adding more money to Nanny's coffers!
Hi Ken,
ReplyDeleteHappy new year to you and yours!!! I too have over indulged over the Christmas period and loved it.
I was speaking to a friend of mine who works as an electrician, he told me that to conform to the latest regulations, he must fit the new standard light sockets to all new builds....These new light sockets will not accept bulbs other than the new EUSSR dictated low energy ones....Another example of Nanny forcing compliance to her silly green agenda....Talking of silly green agendas....I hear Hilary "Veggie" Benn, the minister for climate change(snort) has decided to push the "No red meat" policy onto us; he states that livestock produce huge amounts of methane, and so is bad for the enviroment...I have found that vegetarians also produce huge amounts of gas, actually from the same hole as Veggie Benn speaks through......He has clearly not thought this policy through.....Vegetable crops can only produce the yields required to feed our ever expanding population if farmers use OIL/fossil fuel based fertillizers.
Why do so many single issue groups want to impose their somewhat narrow agenda on to the rest of us? Why are most vegetarians left wing and why are most disciples of the new religion of climate change also left wing?
Enjoy knitting yoghurt responsibly.
To add to your list Ken, I committed the heinous crime of sending recyclable rubbish to landfill.
ReplyDeleteI'm fairly bursting with naughty glee just thinking about it.
Happy New Year!
Ken
ReplyDeleteAnother anonymous notes that you made me laugh - Nanny-types don't like people being merry. Is there a tax or fine yet for not collapsing under the yoke of oppression?(I nearly wrote weight - but that is a taboo word these days).
Enjoy being normally human responsibly, and wishing everyone a belated very happy and blessed year.
microdave said...
ReplyDelete"7) So long as you "plug in" appliances, you don't need to be qualified, so carry on overloading...
However if you want to add a couple of sockets to your ring main you need "Part P" certification, thus adding more money to Nanny's coffers!"
Yes, despite being a "competent person" for the purposes of the Electricity at Work Acts, I recently broke the law by fitting a new consumer unit in my friend's house and didn't have some scrofulous little twerp from my local council who, after a fortnight's course of some sort, is deemed qualified to check my work.
Meanwhile I broke Nanny's anti-swimming diktat by swimming in a Liverpool dock in just speedos on Boxing Day, for some 20 mins in water at 4C. All in aid of charity. Oh, the water was also some 20ft deep as well as cold.
Tonk asked: "Why are most vegetarians left wing and why are most disciples of the new religion of climate change also left wing?"
ReplyDeleteBecause we've got more sense than you, Tonk.
I didn't have a Christmas tree this year. I had a 6 foot high green polystyrene cone. Safety first, people.
ReplyDeleteGlenn;
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing that....However, I decline to have a battle of wits with a clearly unarmed, leftwing, veggie enviro-mentalist(sic- just incase the spelling police are reading this)
Happy new year to you;-)
Now now, Tonk, no generalising. I've been a veg for 35 years and I'm highly sceptical of the climate change hokum that's being used to tie us in to Nanny's agendas. Can't call myself "left wing" or "right wing" as I'm ideologically allergic to the terms. Extreme left wingers and extreme right-wingers look pretty much the same to me and some of the people we concern ourselves about today seem to resist such classification altogether. Is Osama Bin Laden left wing or right wing, for example?
ReplyDeleteEarthworm;
ReplyDeleteYes I agree.....The far left and the far right are the same thing....Take the BNP as an example.....People refer to them as right wing however, when you have half an hour to waste and choose to waste it looking through their policies, one sees them calling for nationalisation and state control of many of our industries and services....That sounds like socialism to me.
As to the question of OBL, I don't know....Some areas of Islam appear left wing whilst other areas of Islamic thought appears rather right wing.....If I have to label him, I would prefer to use the label of either terrorist or international criminal.
It was a generalisation that I used in my original post however, I did use the term "most" which implied there were some, like yourself, that didn't fit into all three of the compartments.....I tried vegetarian for a couple of years as I was wrongly advised it would help a medical condition from which I suffered, I reverted back when a specialist said that leaving out meat would not help me at all......I like meat and I like good vegetarian food, especially oriental.....What I don't like is Nanny, via Veggie Benn, telling me what to eat and what to think.
Enjoy thinking responsibly.
Thinkaware.co.uk