Nanny Changes Her Mind on Fags

On the subject of fags, loyal readers will recall that Nanny shelved her plans for plain packaging in July.

Unsurprisingly, in the few months since then, it transpires that Nanny has changed her mind!

There will be another review, led by paediatrician Sir Cyril Chantler, due to conclude in March 2014. Pending the outcome, plain packaging will then be introduced.

As with all of Nanny's reviews etc, if at first she doesn't get the result she wants she keeps trying until she gets her way!


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Hospital Smoking Shelter Ban

I see that the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) want smoking shelters (where patients and staff can have a fag break) at hospitals banned.

Those hospitals that do not ban them could face "disciplinary action".

NICE also want patients to stop smoking before any hospital admissions.

As if patients weren't stressed out enough already by being in hospital!

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Bin Brother - Bin Blight

Oh dear another directive from our EU overlords that I fear will not go down too well in this country.

Lord de Mauley, a minister in the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, recently told local authorities that they would be required to follow new EU guidance which requires homes to separate waste more efficiently.

Currently councils allow (as per Lord de Mauley quoted in the Telegraph) "co-mingled collections of recyclates". However, the revised Waste Framework Directive, that comes into force on January 1 2015, will cause an increase in "bin blight"; as people will be forced to separate their waste even more "precisely" than they do now.

“Where waste paper, metal, plastic or glass has been collected separately all reasonable steps must be taken to keep that stream separate from other waste streams wherever this is necessary to provide high quality recyclates.

I look to local authorities actively to address these problems, by the effective implementation of the new regulations and by tackling problems with operating practices.”

How many more bins are we going to need?

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The Dangers of Vacuum Cleaners

I see that our EU overlords have legislated against "powerful" vacuum cleaners (those over 1,600 watts), which will be banned as from September 2014.

This will prove something of a problem for those who try to keep their homes free of dust, as the average wattage currently stands at 1,800.

However, the sucking situation will worsen, as by 2017 the maximum wattage allowed will be 900 watts.

There is a rather obvious flaw with the EU's master plan to save the planet. The lower the wattage, the longer the vacuum will have to be used for in order to fulfill its function!

Methinks banning the EU would be more effective, as it would massively reduce the emissions of harmful "hot air" gasses.

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Nuts Are Good For You!

Oh dear, given that seemingly an ever growing number of people are nut allergic (thus requiring Nanny's ever present "this product may contain nuts" warning), a recently published scientific paper in the New England Journal of Medicine may be somewhat confusing to Nanny.

People eating nuts once a week are 11% less likely to have died during the study than those who never ate nuts.

Up to four portions was linked to a 13% reduction in deaths and a daily handful of nuts cut the death rate during the study by 20%.

Lead researcher Dr Charles Fuchs, from the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and Brigham and Women's Hospital, is quoted by the BBC:

"The most obvious benefit was a reduction of 29% in deaths from heart disease, but we also saw a significant reduction - 11% - in the risk of dying from cancer." 

Please be advised that this article contains no nuts!

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Coal - The New Tobacco

It seems that the climate warming brigade have latched onto a new "evil" that contributes to "global warming".

Good old fashioned coal it seems is now in the firing line from investor pressure groups, which sell out holdings in certain resource companies that handle products that are deemed to contribute to global warming.

Christine Torklep Meisingset, Storebrand’s head of sustainable investments in Oslo, is quoted by Bloomberg:

“Hopefully, other investors will be acting along the same lines. There could be an interesting parallel to tobacco.” 

There will be an uphill struggle to wean the world (especially energy hungry developing countries) off coal. In 2011, coal was used to generate 30.3% of the world’s primary energy.

Do we deny countries such as China and India the right to develop?

Shall we opt for less polluting power sources such as nuclear?

Wind, wave and solar are all very well; but they are expensive, and are not feasible in every country on the planet.

For the record, when I was ten I mentally designed a giant solar panel on the moon that would beam by microwave the energy converted to the earth via a network of satellites, which in turn would transmit that energy to ground receiving stations.

A brilliant idea, yet one that has failed to materialise!

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Alcoholics Paid In Beer To Clean Streets

Here is an imaginative approach to anti social alcoholic behaviour, taken by Amsterdam authorities.

At nine o'clock in the morning in a garden shed behind a house in Amsterdam, a handful of alcoholics are getting ready to clean the surrounding streets, beer and cigarette in hand.

For a day's work, the men receive 10 euros, a half-packet of rolling tobacco and, most importantly, five cans of beer: two to start the day, two at lunch and one for after work.

Gerrie Holterman, who heads the Rainbow Foundation project, financed by the Dutch state and donations is quoted by Times Live:

"This group of chronic alcoholics was causing a nuisance in Amsterdam's Oosterpark: fights, noise, disagreeable comments to women.

The aim is to keep them occupied, to get them doing something so they no longer cause trouble at the park."

An interesting approach to alcoholic anti social behaviour.

Do you think it would work here?

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Bin Brother - How To Angle Your Bin

My thanks to a loyal reader who advises me that the good people of Coventry have received 5,000 "helpful" leaflets from Coventry City Council explaining how to pit their wheelie bins out.

According to the Mail the leaflets use images with green ticks and red crosses to describe the correct angle for wheelie bins to be placed before they are collected by binmen. The flyers have been sent out in the Hillfields and Foleshill areas.

It seems that the council is worried that binmen would injure themselves if the bins face the "wrong" direction.

City resident Dave Evans was quoted:

"If this is a health and safety issue why has it only been raised now and, if so, is it not a health and safety issue to residents?"

Quite!

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Too Old To Be Insured

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of some Nanny insurance nonsense that prevented ex Royal Navy Albert 'Dusty' Miller (who served his country with distinction in World War Two) from acting as the Royal British Legion parade marshal (a role he has carried out for the last 38 years).

Seemingly he is now deemed to be "too old" to be insured!

That is always the way with insurance companies, they never like putting themselves at risk of "paying out". Given that Mr Miller put himself at considerable risk during his wartime service, one would have thought an exception could have been made .

Mr Miller was quoted by the Express:

"They came up to me and said, 'I've got a bit of bad news for you'. "At first I thought somebody had died and it was going to be another funeral. Then they told me HQ insisted I had to stand down as parade marshal. 

I said I was still fit and able, but they said it's because of insurance and that I should have stood down when I was 85.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. 

I was that disgusted I didn't know what to say. 

I've been a marshal for the Merseyside and West Lancs branch for 38 years. I never even knew standard-bearers had to be insured." 

Insurance is very much a one way street when it comes to risk!

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Bin Brother - Nanny Bans Pumpkin Seeds

My thanks to a loyal reader for pointing me in the direction of some post Halloween Nanny nonsense.

Now that Halloween is but a dim distant memory we may all relax until next year, that at least is what Zoe Eckersley of Knutsford thought. However, she had not reckoned on the waste disposal rules of Cheshire East Council.

When helping her children make a pumpkin lantern she scooped out the seeds and threw them in her green bin used for garden waste.

Big mistake!

Her bin was left unemptied. However, an official yellow form had been attached identifying the pumpkin seeds as the forbidden "waste".

For why?

Seemingly there was a risk of "spreading disease", in fact all home grown veg are banned from green bins by this council.

By the way the council won't empty the bin, even if she removes the seeds, until next spring.

As per the Mail Councillor David Topping, cabinet member in charge of the environment, said:

"All of our waste collection crews are trained to assess the contents of garden bins before they are emptied into the collection vehicle, and they will not be emptied if the crew find any waste that could be considered as food waste.

As garden waste was sent to local farms for composting, they could face prosecution if food waste was mixed in."

I would welcome comments from those who actually know about agriculture etc, as to my humble view the banning of pumpkin seeds on the basis of disease risk seems a tad OTT.

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Nanny Is Mother, Nanny Is Father

I can't say that I find Baroness Sally Morgan's suggestion that kids start school from the age of two to be exactly to my taste.

Her rationale being that poor parenting, poor diet and poor housing meant disadvantaged children were often not ready to start formal schooling at five.

Maybe so, but it is not the state's role to bring up children. Additionally, placing children as young as two in schools effectively "institutionalises" them and robs them of their childhood.

How on earth can such a proposal produce better more rounded adults capable of functioning for themselves in the real world?

The issue lies with the parents, not the state!

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Highland Nanny Bans Booze

My sympathies to the good people of the Highlands who face a booze crack down, as Nanny's chums from the Highland Licensing Board have consulted on a number of options that would restrict the numbers of off-licences.

One of the options being considered by the board is for a Highland-wide ban against any new licences for off-sales over a certain capacity (ie rationing), another being considered is the banning of new off-licences.

Two other options being considered are that the ban is only enforced in certain ward areas or 25 badly affected areas identified by NHS Highland.

Seemingly out of the 12 organisations, including Police Scotland, NHS Highland and a number of charities, that took part in the consultation, a total of eight backed a Highland-wide ban.

The restriction will affect larger supermarket chains not small independent businesses. Were one to believe the figures, NHS Highland claims that 40.5% of the Highland population exceed weekly and, or, daily drinking limits.

Given how grim the weather can be there at certain times of the year, and the fact that the sun sets rather earlier in the winter there than it does on the Sarf coast, I am surprised the figure is so low!

An NHS Highland spokesman is quoted by STV:

"Alcohol is an important part of Highland life. Whisky production and associated businesses provides work for thousands of people and brings money into the Highland economy. It can also make a positive contribution to an individual’s mental, and social health, and wellbeing.
 
There are numerous negative impacts resulting from alcohol not being used sensibly and the Public Health paper sets out a strong argument for alcohol overprovision throughout Highland. Over the last decade social trends towards alcohol have changed with the sales of alcohol increasing through off-sales and decreasing through on-sales.
 
This has resulted in people purchasing alcohol from large retail businesses and increased consumption in the home environment. Essentially alcohol has become normalised and has become a daily household product. The Public Health paper also provides evidence of drive and walk times to premises that sell alcohol. It is startling to note that 90% of the population is within a 10 minute drive time of a licensed premise.
 
The overall impact has been negative effects on the population’s health and wellbeing, on family life and also on the economy. Public Health supports this because it targets businesses where most sales are made and would not have a detrimental effect on the myriad of small and medium sized businesses."

I don't know on which planet the spokesman lives, but alcohol has been "normalised" as part of British society since we covered ourselves in wode!

This sort of Nanny nonsense will undermine both the local economy and society of the Highlands.

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EU Nanny Bans Chocolate Fags

My thanks to an eagle eyed loyal reader who pointed me to a piece in Deutsch Türkische Nachrichten which says that our EU Overlords are banning chocolate cigarettes, but that real fags and tobacco are still perfectly legal!

As per the translation in NoTricksZone:

"Chocolate that is shaped like cigarettes must no longer be sold in the future. In the EU parliament’s view, chocolate cigarettes are dangerous starter drugs."

What a strange bunch of people in habit the rarefied world of the EU Parliament!

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The Dangers of Swimming

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to a rather "dynamic" story that unfolded in the Littledown Centre in Bournemouth recently, when two fully clothed police officers jumped into the swimming pool to apprehend a man in his 50's who had been shouting at some youths who had allegedly been splashing him.

After speaking to the man, police admitted that “no offence had been committed” and gave him a lift home.

The Telegraph quotes an onlooker:

“A man did indeed have unacceptable threatening behaviour to a bunch of young boys who were splashing around him and potentially being a nuisance. 

They did not deserve the abuse the man threw at them. 

What followed was farcical – four police cars, an entourage of police and members of the general public filling every window available. 

We need to be much more supportive and open with people who are clearly distressed. 

At no time did I see him hit out. I fully believe this man would have been OK to continue his swim.” 

It is sad to see that as a nation, many of us (sometimes those in positions of authority) now seem to overreact at the slightest perceived provocation.

Calm down and chill out, life's too short to constantly be at war with the rest of the human race!

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Prats of The Week - Amber Valley Borough Council

My thanks to a loyal reader who has suggested which organisation should receive my prestigious, and internationally renowned, Prats of the Week Award. This week it goes to Amber Valley Borough council.

For why?

Just ask the residents of Lower Hartshay, who for at least 20 years have held a bonfire night celebration.

In the days leading up to Bonfire Night locals would dump wood and grass cuttings on a site ready to burn the effigy of Guy Fawkes.

Not this year though, because council officials removed the 6ft high pile of leaves etc; citing the fact that it was "fly tipping", and that no licence had been applied for.

To add insult to injury the council then left police-style tape marking out the ‘environmental crime scene’, along with a sign warning villagers ‘we are watching you’ and threatening a hefty fine.

Resident David Crowder is quoted by the Mail:

"This is an event that brings us together as a community. We have no church, no community centre and, consequently, everyone comes together for this event.

It’s just garden waste and hedge-cuttings.You’ve only got to look at the ground to see there’s a scorch mark."

Amber Valley Borough council well deserving Prats of The Week!

 
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Bin Brother - The Dangers of Wheelie Bins

My thanks to a loyal reader who guided me to the problems that George Whatley has been having wrt his rubbish collection on Canvey Island, which is meant to be organised by Castle Point Borough Council.

Having bought a wheelie bin he was less than gemused (as a retired health and safety worker) to be told that the plastic bag of rubbish placed on top of the bin could not be collected because of health and safety regulations (ie it was too high).

Therefore why not place the bag within the wheelie bin I hear you ask?

Aha..No!

Health and safety rules seemigly prevent binmen from reaching into the bin to remove the bag!

The whole sorry tale can be read in the Mail.


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Jam Goes Underground

Oh my giddy aunt, I see that our elected overlords intended to reduce the minimum sugar content of jam and marmalade sold in England.

Tessa Munt MP is unimpressed and says it spells "the end of the British breakfast as we know it".

The BBC quotes her:

"If these regulations change, we'll end up with something much more like the French and German product - and worse still the Americans - where they have things a bit like a fruit butter or a fruit spread. 

It's dull colours that don't taste the same and they certainly don't last as long."

Well said Ms Munt!

Such nonsense will drive jam production underground.

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