Scottish Nanny's Half Baked Booze Pricing Plan

Commiserations to the good people of Scotland, who, from tomorrow, will have to endure Scottish Nanny's half baked minimum pricing of alcohol plan.

Scotland's minimum unit pricing plan is "unmerited" and "unlikely to work".
See especially Point 3 "MUP will reduce spending in pubs and bars." https://t.co/81DyFms8gN

— Pub Curmudgeon 🍻 (@oldmudgie) April 30, 2018

It won't work, and all that will happen is that people will cut down expenditure on other essentials. Additionally, if they cross the border into despised England they can buy it at English prices!

Smart cookies will set up booze delivery services into Scotland from England and undercut Scottish shops and Scottish Nanny's revenue raising dreams!

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Nanny Wants To Tax Fat People!

A doctor has written to the Times today to suggest fat people pay more tax pic.twitter.com/TB2LyZRpzM

— Helen Pidd (@helenpidd) April 27, 2018

I knew this day would come :(

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Nanny Wants To Tax Chocolate In Order To Get Empirical Data

It appears that taxing sugary drinks is not as effective as Nanny told us.

It is now "accepted fact" that taxing chocolate and other sweet foods would be a more effective anti-obesity strategy than the new “sugar tax” on fizzy drinks.

A study by Oxford and Cambridge Universities and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, predicts that adding 10 per cent to the price of confectionery, cakes and biscuits could lead to a 7 per cent drop in purchases.

The figures are similar to those for taxing sugar-sweetened drinks, where previous research suggests a 10 per cent price rise can reduce purchases by 6 per cent to 8 per cent.

However the latest study, published in BMJ Open, found that taxing sweet snacks could have an additional knock-on effect on the sale of other foods, leading to consumers cutting their buying of soft drinks, biscuits, cakes and savoury snacks as well.

All very fine and dandy, except the authors of the study then go on to say they don't have the empirical evidence and that the best way to get that is to levy the tax!

As Co-author Professor Susan Jebb, from the University of Oxford, said per the Telegraph:

"It's impossible to study the direct effects of a tax on snack food on consumer behaviour until such policies are introduced, but these estimates show the likely impact of changes in the price."

You couldn't make this up!

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Nanny Fines Blind Person For Recycling Error

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Nanny To Ban BOGOF Junk Food

Saint Jamie of Oliver has coordinated a letter to Theresa May, signed by Corbyn, Sturgeon, Cable and Lucas, that calls upon Nanny to ban buy-one-get-one-free offers on junk food, and impose strict new rules on how and when it can be advertised.

"We are writing to urge you to take bold action to tackle one of the greatest health challenges of our time. A crisis which is putting immense pressure on the NHS as it approaches its 70th birthday."

The pressure on the NHS is brought about by the following:

- unrealistic expectations of what the NHS can do for people
- people living far too long, but not living a quality dignified life
- people misusing the NHS without consideration to those who are really ill

The fact is severely obese people die earlier than those who aren't, as such they are not the main drain on the NHS's resources.

Does it not occur to people that once the state starts dictating what we may/may not eat and drink then we may as well end our lives now, as the most basic of freedoms will have been taken away from us?

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Cat Smith Talks Bollocks!

Today it's revealed that the Equality and Human Rights Commission warned the Government that voter ID could disenfranchise voters, particularly ethnic minority communities, older people, transgender people, and disabled people. The Government is determined to undermine democracy. pic.twitter.com/PyDHStkOqs

— Cat Smith (@CatSmithMP) April 22, 2018

As long as the rules are applied to everyone, irrespective of age, sex, colour etc etc, then there is no disenfranchisement.

Following Smith's "logic" shall I tell my bank that their requirement to check my id when I draw a large sum of money, or when an airline checks my id before I board a plane is unfair?

No, I thought not!

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Saint Jamie of Oliver Conflates Hydration and Booze

What's this? @JamiesItalianUK conflating hydration & booze to market its cocktails?

I guess 'think of the kids!' only applies to fast-food ad bans, and other things that don't hurt @jamieoliver's profits. pic.twitter.com/iud4BmDWZP

— Kate Andrews (@KateAndrs) April 22, 2018

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Nanny To Ban Straws

Plastic straws, drink stirrers and plastic-stemmed cotton buds could soon be banned from sale in England under a plan drawn up by Nanny.

Theoretically, the move is aimed at protecting rivers and oceans from the growing problem of plastic pollution. However, it will also enable Nanny to meet the requirements of a 25-year plan to eliminate avoidable plastic waste.

As we know, Nanny loves ticking boxes!


Subject to a consultation which is to be launched later this year, the products would be banned from sale and officials would work with industry to develop alternatives.

I was offered a reusable perspex straw in a pub on Monday, I would have had to pay a £2 deposit. I asked how they cleaned them, with a small brush apparently. Suffice to say I declined.

Once Nanny has banned everything on the planet, all she will have left to ban is life itself!

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Lancet Lie Lanced

Last week I wrote:

"A study, published in The Lancet, of 600,000 drinkers found that drinking five to 10 alcoholic drinks a week was likely to shorten a person's life by up to six months.

So farking what!

Allegedly this risk increases with higher alcohol consumption, with those who have 18 drinks or more losing up to five years of life.

For every 12.5 units of alcohol people drank a week it raised the risk of:

• Stroke by 14%
• Fatal hypertensive disease by 24%
• Heart failure by 9%
• Fatal aortic aneurysm by 15%

Suffice to say every crackpot, single issue obsessive and teetotaler will use this to push their anti booze agenda."

As was obvious, this was bollocks research.

Now it emerges that the Lancet article itself proves that the research was bollocks, as it seems that those who don't drink and have never drunk were excluded from the study group.

As per the Spectator:

"With the non-drinkers included, we can see that the new study does not contradict the existing evidence. The mortality risk of those who have never drunk alcohol is 20 per cent higher than that of those who drink 100g per week (12.5 units) and is the same as those who drink 300g per week (37.5 units). (NB. Forget about the ex-drinkers who have an even higher risk because some of those will be former heavy drinkers. It is the never-drinkers who are the relevant control group.)

The study’s authors got rid of the J-Curve by cutting off part of the J! Instead of using non-drinkers as their baseline, they used the most moderate of moderate drinkers and buried the findings for non-drinkers in the appendix. If you look at the data in the study and ignore the editorialising of its authors, the study doesn’t tell us anything we did not already know. 

Moderate drinking reduces mortality risk and is particularly good for the heart. Light drinkers have the best outcomes, but drinkers who consume double the 14 units recommended by the Chief Medical Officer do better than those who do not drink at all."

I concur with the Spectator in that not only were the headlines misleading and wrong, the authors knew that their "research" would produce such headlines; ie the authors were well aware that their study was bollocks!

It's the lie that gets you!


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Millennials Too Scared To Touch Meat

It has come to this, millennials are now so scared of touching meat that Sainsbury's has decided to pack chicken in a pack to pan package so that people don't have to touch the meat.

It said that many shoppers under the age of 35 were afraid to touch raw meat. The pouches known as “doypacks” in the industry are designed to allow consumers to cook meat without coming directly into contact with it.

Katherine Hall, product development manager for meat, fish and poultry at the retailer, told The Sunday Times:

"Customers, particularly younger ones, are quite scared of touching raw meat. These bags allow people, especially those who are time-poor, to just ‘rip and tip’ the meat straight into the frying pan without touching it”. 

One small problem, the very same millennials are now complaining that the packages are not environmentally friendly!

When I was a kid, my dad was chums with a butcher and I would often visit his refrigerated room to look at the hanging carcasses of pigs and lambs. Something that maybe should be made mandatory for kids these days, so that they understand where food comes from!

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Nanny Hates Booze and Hates People!

A study, published in The Lancet, of 600,000 drinkers found that drinking five to 10 alcoholic drinks a week was likely to shorten a person's life by up to six months.

So farking what!

Allegedly this risk increases with higher alcohol consumption, with those who have 18 drinks or more losing up to five years of life.

For every 12.5 units of alcohol people drank a week it raised the risk of:

• Stroke by 14%
• Fatal hypertensive disease by 24%
• Heart failure by 9%
• Fatal aortic aneurysm by 15%

Suffice to say every crackpot, single issue obsessive and teetotaler will use this to push their anti booze agenda.

Oh, and for the record, increased risk (from a very low base point) of earlier death is not the same as "direct/certain cause of death".

The effect of this pathetic scaremongering by the ignorant and the bigoted, will mean that "sensible" health warnings and advice will simply be ignored.

The fact is, irrespective of what the "experts" say, people have a right to live their lives however they choose. We are all going to die one day, far better to enjoy your life than add a few months extra to live a miserable existence!

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Australian Nanny Bans Smoking In Drug Dependence Injecting Centre

So, Daniel Andrews’ new drug injecting centre *will* let you inject ice, but *won’t* let you smoke a cigarette afterwards - because smoking is bad for your health.

You couldn’t make this up.#springst pic.twitter.com/1oErgD7ekO

— Michael O'Brien (@michaelobrienmp) April 11, 2018

In Australia the state government injecting room regulations, released quietly on Tuesday night, will allow any drug of dependence, which includes ice, speed and other amphetamines. The irony being that those who use the injecting centre in North Richmond will be banned from smoking, as it is bad for their health!

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Street Lights Don't Cause Cancer Nor Induce Nosebleeds

Sadly Nanny has created such a nation of morons and simpletons, that Gateshead council has had to issue a public notice stating that street lights don't cause cancer.

I dare say this notice will immediately be used by the conspiracy theorists as further proof of the "conspiracy".

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Pasta Helps You Lose Weight

Despite what Nanny and so called "experts" have been telling us over the years, it seems that pasta does not make you fat but actually helps you lose weight.

For why?

It doesn't bugger up your blood sugar levels, in the way that some other foods do.

Here is what the BMJ says:

"Pasta in the context of low-GI dietary patterns does not adversely affect adiposity and even reduces body weight and BMI compared with higher-GI dietary patterns."

Coming soon, smoking cures cancer!

In other words ignore the experts and maintain a balanced diet, allowing for indulgences and fun!

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Nanny To Tax Coffee

Hot on the heels of last week's sugar tax, which Nanny claimed was to reduce childhood obesity, the anti sugar Gestapo are now setting their sites on coffee (how is that kid related?).

Caramel lattes and other coffees full of sugar, as well as milkshakes and squash, should be the next target of a government crackdown.

Tam Fry, chairman of the National Obesity Forum, blamed the “out of home” sector for dragging its feet as he took aim at drinks such as caramel lattes.

He is quoted by The Times:

“Lacing coffee with so much sugar is ridiculous.” 

Fry said these drinks should be sweetened artificially instead.

Two small, but significant points:

1 Kids tend not to gorge on coffee, hence Nanny' has lied to us that the sugar tax was aimed at kids.

2 It's not Fry's fucking business how much sugar people choose to add to their coffee!
 

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Happy Sugar Tax Day! - #SugarTax

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Australia's Banned Film Poster Words

This list of words not allowed on film posters is the most Australian document ever writtenhttps://t.co/x8OjSwMXBU (from @Benjungles) pic.twitter.com/36x2nGw9qE

— The Poke (@ThePoke) April 6, 2018

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Sin Taxes Are Deliberately Aimed At The Poor - The Spectator Nails It

The Spectator has nailed the lie behind sin taxes namely that, despite what Nanny likes to claim, sin taxes are deliberately aimed at poor people.

For why?

Nanny believes that the taxes will force people who have low incomes to change their bad habits (smoking, drinking, eating sugary food, eating fats food etc), because people on low incomes (so the theory goes) simply will not be able to afford these "vices" if they are taxed sufficiently and will thus be forced to change their "bad habits".

The only problem with this theory is that it is bollocks!

People maintain their "bad habits" by;

- Switching to cheaper brands
- Avoiding taxes (eg by booze cruises)
- Evading taxes (eg by black market fakes, smuggling etc)
- Cutting back on other "good" items, eg healthy food etc

Hence sin taxes do no good at all, other than provide Nanny with an additional revenue stream.

As the Spectator says:

"To all intents and purposes, they are fines imposed on ordinary people as punishment for engaging in activities that displease super-rich do-gooders such as Michael Bloomberg and Jamie Oliver."

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NHS To Ban Sugar

My sympathies to anyone who has the misfortune to end up in hospital. As if it were not bad enough that patients are ill, and surrounded by others who are ill, they now have to endure Nanny micromanaging what they and their visitors may drink.

The Telegraph reports that the NHS could bring in a complete ban of sugary drinks in hospitals after more than a third of trusts failed to sign up to a scheme to cut sales.

Hospitals and retailers were given until the end of March to reduce the number of sugary soft drinks, milkshakes and hot drinks with added sugar syrups, to 10 per cent or less of all beverages sold across its sites.

However NHS England said that 80 out of 232 trusts have not yet joined the voluntary programme and warned that a ban could come into effect on July 1.

You see what Nanny has done there don't you?

The scheme is only voluntary if everyone joins it, otherwise Nanny will make it compulsory!

The fact is, hospitals are truly appalling places to be ill in; and if having a sugar kick, a fag or a nip of scotch helps the hapless patient get better, feel happier and out of hospital faster then Nanny should keep her nose out of it.

The Irony Klaxon Award goes to Professor John Wass, from the Obesity Health Alliance, who said NHS England was "leading by example when it comes to tackling obesity".

Errm..I don't know where he goes for treatment, but many of the doctors/nurses I have seen when visiting sick relatives are not exactly skinny!

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