Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

The Dangers of Avocados

The Dangers of AvocadosNanny sees dangers in all manner of products, actions and foods; that normal people would never see.

For instance, I wonder how many of you have innocently eaten an avocado without realising how dangerous this particular fruit (yes it is a fruit, not a vegetable) is?

Fortunately for us, Nanny sees beyond our limited horizons; she has identified that avocados are in fact highly dangerous.

At least that seems to be the conclusion following an out of court settlement between Michael McCarthy, a trainee chef, and the Dalmunzie Hotel, Glenshee, Perthshire.

McCarthy, when he was working in the kitchens of the hotel, was attempting to cut an avocado; it seems that the avocado was a tad unripe, his knife slipped and he cut himself.

McCarthy needed surgery after the incident, and claimed that it meant he had to give up his dream of a career as an RAF chef. He now works in a call centre.

Needless to say, being brought up in the Nanny state gave McCarthy a good idea as to what his "rights" were. He tried to sue the hotel for £25K.

That's the way laddie!

He claimed that the hotel should have warned him of the danger that an unripened avocado posed.

In the end the hotel decided to reach an out of court settlement for £3K.

So you see folks, avocados should now have warning labels.

He was a silly chap; he should have sued them on the grounds that avocados are a particularly erotic fruit, in form and texture (well that's my view anyway), as such handling such an arousing fruit would be against his religious (he would have to make one up) sensibilities. He would have got far more money out of them then!

I wonder how many chefs have cut themselves in the kitchen? I know that I have on a few occasions.

-Should they then sue the kitchen that they work in?

-Should they sue the knife manufacturer?

-Should they, perhaps, sue the shop that sold them the knife?

Yesterday, I was robustly grating some ginger; guess what? I grazed my knuckles.

-Should I sue the grater manufacturer?

-Should I sue the person who sold me the grater?

-Should I sue the ginger grower?

-Should I sue the person who sold me the ginger?

-Should I sue myself, for being so clumsy?

Thoughts anyone?

So many people to sue, so little time left to do it in! That's all part of the fun of living in a Nanny state.

15 comments:

  1. McCarthy needed surgery after the incident, and claimed that it meant he had to give up his dream of a career as an RAF chef. He now works in a call centre.

    Will someone please, PLEASE tell me that a) this individual has been institutionalized to keep himself (and the public) out of danger, or b) that this is really just a hoax?

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  2. Anonymous3:35 PM

    Oh, wow. What do you even say to something like that. Madness. How about people taking some responsibility? Nah, that could never happen. Too hard, huh.

    Thanks for bringing this post to my attention :-)

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  3. "he had to give up his dream of a career as an RAF chef".

    The RAF probably wouldn't have taken him on as he is clearly too much of a wimp!!!

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  4. Ken, you maintain "avocados are a particularly erotic fruit, in form and texture (well that's my view anyway)"

    Hmm... well, gosh, seems Nanny has indeed meddled and interfered in your hormones. Is there no end to her meddling???

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  5. Spiv

    Avocados are indeed erotic:

    1 Their shape is curvaceous

    2 Squeeze them and they are firm, yet yielding

    3 The flesh is moist, succulent and unctuous

    4 They are also considered, by some, to be an afrodisiac

    What more do you need?

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  6. Ahem ... 'nuff said!!!

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  7. Anonymous7:23 PM

    The cowardly, wimpish hotel who paid out £3k for a quiet life are just as culpable as the "chef" and encourage irresponsible claims by the readiness with which they pay out Danegeld.

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  8. Ken, How long have you been looking at this? The answer to your question should be 'All of the above.' Happy suing. You will get something out of everyone. McCarthy was badly advised.

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  9. Anonymous11:10 PM

    Ken said: "So many people to sue, so little time left to do it in!"

    Easy Ken, just toddle off to your local Claims'R'Us(tm) and see if they will give you a discount for a bulk order. If in doubt, sue everyone!

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  10. Anonymous11:47 PM

    Oh, what an opportunity!

    I would sue God for creating the disgraceful fruit in the first place.

    Naturally you woud have to go after His/Her representatives on Earth (unless you can find a way of getting to those on another planet ...).

    The Pope should be good for a bob or two from the funds the that arm of representation has amassed. And judging by the reports I read (but briefly) of the ordination of an imported CofE chap recently (remind me - does the E stand for Europe these days, now England is being obliterated?) it sounds like they too have a few quid that could be liberated without anyone noticing that it had gone.

    And the beauty of would be that they could not possibly deny responsibility, could they?

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  11. Anonymous9:24 PM

    Just thought - Nanny's Food Nazis are falling down on the job here. Never mind the avocado's finger slicing potential, it's supposed to be high in the sort of fats that aren't particularly good for you!! Tut tut, Nanny!!

    Pete

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    Replies
    1. But it's high on the fat that IS good for you.

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  12. Anonymous12:55 PM

    ''He was a silly chap; he should have sued them on the grounds that avocados are a particularly erotic fruit, in form and texture (well that's my view anyway)''

    Ken you are a sick individual. Fancy having erotic feelings for fruit. God knows what you would get up to with a melon (I think we should be told !)

    ;o) Skydog

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  13. ''I would sue God for creating the disgraceful fruit in the first place.''

    Go ahead and sue, I'll have your shirt ... It was ones of Satan's ideas not Mine. God.

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  14. Anonymous5:41 PM

    Considering the origin of the word (avocado is derived from Ahuacuatl, the Aztec word for "testicle tree") it would seem appropriate to label the fruit erotic.

    Does that make Mr. McCarthy a stupid prick for hurting himself on a testicle?

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