Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Nanny Bans Santa

Nanny Bans Santa
Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat
Stuff it!

Or so the old saying goes.

Anyhoo, Nanny and her sprites and elves have entered this season's festivities with their usual enthusiasm.

Nanny's sprites, working on Nanny's website, decided to offer some pre festive advice to those teachers planning Christmas activities for their pupils.

What was the advice?

Simple, ban Santa Claus!

It seems that according to Nanny, children need to be protected from "terrifying" Santa Claus. You see Santa is an overweight old man with a red face, who likes the company of children and asks them to sit on his lap.

Can you see the problem here folks?

That's right, in Nanny's Britain old fat people with red faces are considered to be sub human. Additionally, as every adult is in fact a paedophile, he is quite obviously a threat to the health and safety of the children.

Simple isn't it?

It is hardly surprising that, given the amount of negative Nanny spin gushed forth by the state about fat people, old people and the threats from paedophiles that children do find Santa a little frightening.

The website also said that staff organising school Christmas parties should take care not to arrange competitive games, with winners and losers; apparently this may upset the children, and make them feel they had "underperformed".

Message to Nanny, if you don't teach children to be competitive and to handle failure you leave them ill equipped to cope with the realities of life; in fact it could be argued that, by leaving them so ill prepared, you were in fact abusing them.

The advice on the website also had a go at pantomimes (where men dress as women, women dress as men and the principle "boy" is played by an attractive girl who gets to kiss an equally attractive female what on earth is wrong with taking children to watch that?) quote:

"For very young children, Father Christmas can be terrifying,

and if you are planning a visit from Santa, you'll need to make sure that fearful children are near an exit.

Trips to the pantomime can cause alarm, so the same planning applies.

Younger children in particular have a wide range of fears, many of which seem completely irrational to adults.

Many children dislike the dark or crowded rooms, so be sensitive to this if you are planning atmospheric lighting

These people are allowed near children?

It is hardly surprising that we are breeding a nation of self centred, immature morons who are incapable of dressing themselves let alone looking after themselves.

The site went on to dig itself deeper into a hole by listing games that could be included in school parties, these games were devised by the "progressive" youth movement, the Woodcraft Folk.

Pass the sick bag, I think I'm going to throw up!

The advice said:

"Sometimes parties and organised games just reinforce differences and inequalities.

The last thing you want is for children to get anxious or upset because they feel they have underperformed, or not been successful.

If you do have games with winners, make sure that all children are given an opportunity to succeed where possible

What utter...

wait for it..

wait for it...


Margaret Morrissey, of the National Confederation of Parent Teacher Associations, said: said:

"It is so sad that we have become so politically correct that we are trying to remove the magic of Christmas."

By the way children, can you guess what happened next?

That's right Nanny, as she always does when confronted by people who are actually prepared to stand up for themselves, took the site down and removed the "offending" pages.

Nanny then did her best to deny any responsibility, by saying that it did not represent official policy. A spokesman for the Department of Education squirmed:

"We fully support the traditional British Christmas.

This is not Government policy and was not produced by the department.

We have now withdrawn it as it does not reflect our views


-Why did Nanny put it up in the first place then?

-Isn't any one in charge at the Dept of Education?

The advice was put up because it accurately reflects the thinking of Nanny and her elves and sprites.

Nanny just doesn't have the courage to stand up for herself.

As such she deserves absolutely no respect.


  1. I am really rather glad that my daughter attends a private school where Nanny does not stick her nose. Not only have the children had a visit from Santa Claus (none of them were left traumatised but I fear Rudolph may collapse from exhaustion under the weight of trikes, Barbies and radio controlled cars requested) but they even -gasp- held a nativity play. In fact the PC brigade should have attended this to see how integration and respect *should* work as the one Muslim boy in the year was not excluded because it would offend him. He was there, dressed in his finest as one of the three wise men. His parents ? Amongst the rest of us parents, armed with a camcorder, proudly recording their sons first school play.
    Oh and the kids even had a party with games and no-one was left with life long scars because they did not win at pass the parcel.

  2. FFF,

    careful now, Nanny doesn't approve of filming nativity plays.


  3. Just out of curiosity, has anyone been making noises about Boxing Day? Surely if there's a movement afoot to ban/rename/morph Christmas, someone with too much time on their hands must be raising hell over the idea that gift giving the day after has some un-PC connotations.

  4. Oh, and I LOVE that photo at the head of your post. Where did you find it, Ken?

  5. Anonymous2:00 PM

    "you'll need to make sure that fearful children are near an exit"

    So they can bolt into the street?

  6. Liberranter,

    re the photo, I have chums around the world with access to all sorts of stuff.