Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Nanny Bans Granny

Nanny Bans GrannyNanny has such an obsession with health and safety that it really ties her in knots when she tries to interact with the real world.

She can't get it through her head that you cannot eliminate risk.

Take for example the care of the elderly, and Nanny's home carers who visit the homes of the elderly to help them out with chores, provide basic home help and to see that they are alright.

Edna East, a 99 year old great grandmother, who is all of 4ft 9ins tall and weighing in at around 7 stone relies on the visit of carers for general chores and for helping supervise her climb up the stairs.

Nanny has now put her nose into this, and decided that helping to supervise a 4ft 9ins, 7 stone, elderly lady up the stirs presents too great a threat to the health and safety of the carers.

Seemingly, there is a risk that someone might fall down the stairs.

As such, she has banned the carers from helping supervise Mrs East up the stairs.

There is of course a risk that she might fall down the stairs, but there is a risk that I might fall down the stairs today too..what am I meant to do about that then?

Shit happens...PERIOD!

Nanny has told Edna, and her relatives, that they must instead spend money on a stair lift. This of course could, under extreme circumstances catch fire, collapse etc; ie there is still a risk of injury.

Why then has Nanny issued this edict?

Simple, she wants to offload the risk and responsibility onto someone else. In other words, she doesn't actually care for the health or well being of Mrs East; Nanny only cares about herself, Nanny is callous and cold.

Suzanne Singer, Mrs East's daughter, who looks after Mrs East at her home, said that the policy as "absolutely barmy."

Seemingly Enara Community Care, the firm contracted by Oxfordshire County Council to provide care provision, carried out a risk assessment (they pop in and out during the day); that's when the trouble started.

Whenever I hear the phrase "risk assessment", I instinctively reach for my revolver!

Four weeks after the risk assessment, Mrs Singer received a letter from Enara Community Care telling her of the decision.

Mrs Singer said:

"How ludicrous can you get?

My mother is still perfectly able to climb the stairs

with just a little bit of supervision.

Surely the main role of her carers was to ensure her safety.

To say they can't help her because of a possible injury risk is barmy.

How risky is it to help an elderly woman up the stairs?

They said she could fall on a carer and injure them

but she's never fallen before.

You could understand it if she was clinically obese

but she never goes beyond seven stone.

It's stupid, mindless bureaucracy

Mrs Singer said that when she contacted the council about Enara's policy, she was told to install a stairlift or spend more time with her mother.


"I was absolutely astonished.

My husband Roger and I are very busy people,

we both have our own practices and we can't be here all the time

Nanny doesn't give a stuff!

Personally speaking, if I ever become elderly and infirm and feel that I might have to ask Nanny for help I will most definitely be reaching for my revolver!


  1. Anonymous10:52 AM

    Ken, I assume that you mean to drown out all your sorrows by listening repeatedly to an old Beatles LP?

    Any other connotation would make you a risk to Nanny and probably a terrorist and could cause you to be banned. We couldn't have that.

    One solution, in line with Nanny's own policies it seems, is that we could declare Nanny a risk and have her banned. If not banned then at least show that the risk is serious enough that support and assistance should be withdrawn as she has become too old and incapable to be looked after any more.

    Meanwhile I think any person, company or organisation taking money from the taxpayer but finding ways to avoid providing the service should imediately be 'given advice' (as police internal affairs would call it) and either resign from the contract or fulfil its obligations.

  2. Anonymous6:46 PM

    A couple of years ago i did risk assessment training got the cert and everything.I only did it cos nobody else would on my shift anyhoo being a bit of a prankster i started to suggest all sorts of bollox and guess what management did it had some real laughs too.

  3. Anonymous12:45 AM

    Obviously the sanctimonious little shit at the council didn't do a risk assessment as they'd have figured that telling someone to spend more time with their mother, other than a saint with the patience of Job, puts you at serious risk of a punch on the nose.

  4. Anonymous3:05 AM


    .."Personally speaking, if I ever become elderly and infirm and feel that I might have to ask Nanny for help I will most definitely be reaching for my revolver!.."

    You own a revolver? In nannyland?

    Do you have all the permissions for it?

    Over in the Great Satan, BushHitlerLand, anyone can own a revolver.

    That's one way of dealing with criminals there, you get to shoot them.

    My best friend in Miami busted ten shots at a dude hacksawing through his burglar bars one night, but missed unfortunately.

    Dude never came back, needless to say.

  5. Anonymous7:09 PM

    Trouble with this is that the local authority are covering their backs. They know that if an employee gets hurt in the course of duty they will sue. Nobody takes responsibilty for themselves anymore, its always somebody else´s fault and there is always "free" dosh to be had out of it. Even teachers apparently cannot apply a sticking plaster if a child gets a small cut. They have to call the parents and ask them to come and do it, in case the child is allergic to plaster and the parent will sue!!! I got this from the very mouth of a well brassed off teacher.
    The whole country has gone to the bloody dogs.
    PS. I love this site, I would love to think that someone, somewhere at Westminster reads it and will eventually take notice of how crazy the country has gone.

  6. Anonymous9:14 PM

    Hi Ken,

    As a safety professional I have to agree with you that Councils are expert at covering their arses or over egging the situation.

    Risk assessing is about identifying a hazard, looking at the risk involved and putting in place control measures to deal with that risk.

    Risk assessment is not just about eliminating everything. It is about eliminating what you can and then managing what is left. Yes I did say managing. It would have been quite easy for the Council to have managed this situation but when it comes to breathtaking arse covering.. this mob just takes the biscuit.

  7. Anonymous2:03 PM

    Perhaps you should all know the full facts before you pass comment