Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Happy Happy, Joy JoySmile and the whole world smiles with you!

That at least is the view according to Nanny. She has decided that if we all smile inanely, just as our soon to be departed leader does, then the world will be a much better place and we will forget all our troubles.

Therefore, in keeping with the "smile all the while" policy, Nanny intends to introduce "happiness" lessons in schools.

Yes, that's right, Nanny intends to teach children to be happy; so that the rise in cases of depression being reported is contained and pushed back.

Nanny's new "feely touchy" lessons will include subjects such as; how to manage feelings, attitudes to work and money, channelling negative emotions and how to take a critical view of the media.

This master plan has been devised by Lord Richard Layard, a Labour peer and professor of economics at the London School of Economics.

He wants school pupils to receive tuition in "how to be happy", up to the age of 18, and their progress in the subject should feature in university applications.

Does this mean then that universities won't take applications from miserable bastards?

That would have been a bit of a blow to wee Gordon Smiler Brown, back in his days as a student.

Lord Layard, the director of the wellbeing programme at the LSE's Centre for Economic Performance, said that his theory works something like this:

"Learning hard things takes an enormous amount of practise.

To play the violin well takes 10,000 hours of practise.

How can we expect people to learn to be happy without

massive amounts of practise and repetition?

I believe it can only be done by the schools.

Parents of course are crucial.

But if we want to change the culture,

the main organised institutions we have

under social control are the schools

Errmmm...a few points m'lud:

1 You cannot learn to be happy from a formal lesson

2 You are either a happy person by nature, or you are a miserable git

3 It is the role of the parents to teach children to appreciate what they have, and as such give them some contentment in their lives

4 Learning to play the violin is totally different to being happy. Indeed, creativity often comes from a very tortured and troubled soul. Van Gogh could hardly be called a "happy" person could he?

5 M'lud just about manages to include parents in his "grand plan". However, it is clear that he doesn't really think that they have much of a role. Nanny hates biological parents (must have been something that happened to her in her childhood)

6 M'lud wants to "change the culture", why? Doesn't this sound rather sinister?

Frank Furedi, a sociology professor at Kent University and author of Therapy Culture, thinks that it is a load of bollocks.


"In pushing emotional literacy, what some teachers are

really doing is abandoning teaching.

They are giving up and talking about emotions instead,

so that children value all this non-discipline-led

activity more than maths, English or science.

What is amazing about this is that time and time again,

research says that it does not work

People are "unhappy" because they are dissatisfied with their lives.

They are dissatisfied with their lives because they are constantly told that they should achieve "X, Y and Z" (wrt love, health, money etc).

They do not achieve "X, Y and Z" because the targets are often unattainable; and the quality of the education system leaves many falling far short in the basic standards of reading, writing and social/cognitive skills that would enable them to at least have a sporting chance of achieving "X, Y and Z".

The children who "endure" Nanny's education system know full well that the system is failing them, hence they are depressed (as they see that they will never achieve what they are told that they should be achieving).

Here's a radical thought, how about teaching children to read and write first? Then, later, they can be challenged with "finding their feelings".


  1. Anonymous10:55 AM

    Presumably, this will be done with the skill, efficacy and efficiency that the teachers are having in instilling other civic virtues into their ASBO-sporting protégés.

  2. Anonymous12:30 PM

    Shurely those who don't attain this state of Nirvana will automatically be issued with a ASBO and hey presto! Instant Joy for all 18 year-old emos!


  3. Not only are "happiness" lessons in the works, the city of Manchester will soon be flying 25 teachers to the US to put them through a training program in how to teach "happiness" - at a cost of 1000 pounds per teacher.

    Evidently, wasting people's money makes Nanny very happy.

    Article here:

    BTW, I think that one of the factors that contributes to the possibility of happiness is the sense that one has options and may enthusiastically engage in "the pursuit of happiness," whether or not such a blissful state is ever actually achieved. (In other words, it's related to a sense of autonomy over one's own life.)

    I don't think Nanny is very comfortable with the idea that ordinary people have the capacity to seek out and pursue those things in life that bring them satisfaction. It sounds dangerously disorganized, if not anarchic.

  4. Anonymous4:03 PM

    Ah - I see the connection in black sea's post.

    Lennon and McCartney said "Happiness is a warm gun."

    The connection with the USA and Education is obvious. I expect Nottingham and Peckham to send representatives soon.


  5. Anonymous7:32 PM

    Have a look at this on the excellent Sp!ked website (which features Frank Furedi as well)

  6. Anonymous9:31 AM

    Will children be punished for being insufficiently happy?

  7. Anonymous9:35 AM

    The state will teach children to smile while it takes their fingerprints.

  8. Anonymous11:15 AM

    Ve haf vays uf making you smile, ja?

  9. Anonymous3:02 PM

    But if we want to change the culture,

    the main organised institutions we have

    under social control are the schools.

    A telling statement if there ever was one. Nanny no longer makes an effort to hide her social engineering agenda. Also, whats this rubbish about viewing the media with a critical eye? The media is often Nannys biggest water carrier!

  10. Anonymous9:34 PM

    Today, one of my student here in Turkey asked me "Why don't you want to live and teach in England any more?"
    I think she was surprised when I burst into tears...........

  11. I've developed this theme in a new post in 'anticant's arena' - "Cheer up - or else!"

    Comments welcomed.

  12. Anonymous11:03 AM

    when this fails it will be drugs, prozac at breakfast and
    60000000 happy smiling nulab voting drones.

  13. Anonymous10:02 AM

    Happiness is mandatory, citizen. You are happy, aren't you?

    I just need to attach these electrodes here... and here, just to check that you're not deceptively grinning. Please try to relax. You have nothing to fear. The 10,000 volt generator is only here as a precaution.