Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Trouble At Gestapo HQ

Trouble At Gestapo HQ
My sympathy to the good people of our much respected Health and Safety Gestapo. It seems that they are having a few health and safety issues at their own HQ.

According to data recently released to The Times, under the Freedom of Information Act, there were over 500 accidents and injuries in a 3½ year period at Gestapo HQ. That, by the way, works out at on accident every two working days.

There were 154 slips, trips or falls. One fall, that resulted in a strained groin...ouch...was caused by a wet tea-room floor...don't they use those dinky little plastic cones that warn of wetness?

Another employee slipped on a plastic bag and pulled a hamstring. One hapless member of staff slipped on a raisin!!!???

Someone else bruised her eye, when a lavatory-roll dispenser fell from the wall.

Inspectors were also physically or verbally assaulted nine times.

The accident rate at Gestapo HQ shows a rate of 4,143 per 100,000 people over 2005-06, compared with 2,143 per 100,000 across all companies in the process, plant and machine operatives sector, widely considered one of the most dangerous sectors.

An HSE spokesman said:

"We endeavour to be an exemplar

and as such HSE's level of reporting

is very high.

When compared against averages for

companies with our type of risk the

incident rates and rates for reportable

injuries are low

Other mishaps included:

-Tried to step over spill on floor but slipped in the process

-Walked into warning sign — laceration to skull and damage to spectacles

-Accidentally touched bulb while switching lamp off — small burn to thumb

-Jarred wrist and arm trying to open door, which was stiffer than usual

These are the people who impose rules on us, to "help" us avoid accidents!

Physician heal thyself.


  1. Anonymous11:24 AM

    "Walked into warning sign"

    The word irony was invented for a case such as this. You couldn't make it up!

  2. Accidentally touched bulb while switching lamp off — small burn to thumb .

    Oooh! Now that is nasty. Poor thing!

    The point being, of course, that was not really an accident at all, certainly not the kind of accident anyone with even a handful of functioning brain cells would take any notice of in the first place.

    But is is precisely because they inhabit their own strangely deluded world in which "small burn to thumb" counts as an accident that these people are so dangerous.

    Think about the time (and money) taken to record this complete non-event, not to mention the fact that it was deemed important enough to be recorded at all, and the full horror of the Health and Safety Gestapo unfolds before us all.

  3. Anonymous10:21 AM

    What about:

    "RSI from writing up accidents" ?

  4. Anonymous1:51 PM

    I assume there are a few thousands of people 'working' for this 'organization'.

    Presumably most of them were accidents too.

  5. Anonymous7:05 PM

    "Inspectors were also physically or verbally assaulted nine times."

    So few!

  6. Anonymous11:18 PM

    I think that the workers should sue the bastards who allow this precarious state of affairs to exist. Take 'em for every penny! bleed 'em dry! Then sharpen the bosses' paper clips, that'll learn 'em!

  7. Bruised her eye? When a toilet paper dispenser fell?
    What were her eyes doing on the level of the toilet paper dispenser anyway?
    Was somebody giving the dog a bone during lunch-break?