Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekWell folks, it's that time again...time to award my coveted "Prat of The Week" award.

This time the award goes to the Trading Standards team of Dorset County Council (ah how refreshing, yet another local council making a fool of itself!).

So, what have they done to deserve this award?

Well the good old boys from the Trading Standards team were examining the Sgt Bub Bakery in Weymouth, which has been run by Val Temple for the last 30 years or so. The team unearthed a horrifying discovery, concerning the ingredients of some of Val's cakes.

What was that then Ken?

Did they contain poison?


Were they made with GM products?

No! (and who gives a stuff anyway?)

Was the bakery dirty?


It turns out that Vals' Paradise Slice didn't come from paradise, her Pig Tarts contained no pork and her Robin Tarts didn't contain any robins.

Yes, that's right, Val was accused of mislabelling the products and has to change the names of them.

So, let us be absolutely clear, the good old boys in Trading Standards were worried that people would be buying the products under the mistaken belief that they contained pigs, robins and a little bit of paradise.

How stupid do they think that we are?

What about Swiss rolls, shepherd's pies or baby's head puddings (the correct name for steak and kidney pudding) then?

Val is needless to say totally unimpressed with this.


"It's a joke. It's an insult to the public.

Of course my cakes don't contain pig,

robin or come from paradise.

Where is paradise anyway?

It's absolutely ridiculous.

What's next - Shepherd's Pie?

Where will it all end?

You could apply it to everything.

It's so silly

The Paradise Slice is made from a 120-year-old recipe and includes almonds, sultanas and cherries. The fact that people have eaten this slice for 120 years without any problems is of course irrelevant to Nanny's Trading Standards, the slice will now be called an "almond, fruit and nut" slice.

Val noted:

"The Trading Standards have been coming here

for the last 26 years and only this year

have they made this decision.

A woman officer came in and said they were

acting on a complaint over my labelling

At this point I have to ask, what sad loser made the complaint in the first place? What kind of person has such an empty life that they make an effort to raise such a complaint?

Why did Dorset County Council waste tax payers' money on this fools errand?

A customer, James Marper, wryly observed:

"It's complete madness.

What are they going to ban next - spotted dick?

Who do these officials think they are?

Where has common sense gone?

Val should bake a "nutty as a fruitcake"

to mock the small-minded people who have

had the nerve to enforce these rules.

Tax payers are shelling out so much money

and to see it being paid to these

interfering idiots is extremely disheartening

That is the reality of living in the Nanny state, small minded zealots are allowed to wield power over those of us who are capable of exercising common sense and who take responsibility for our own actions.

Ivan Hancock, Dorset County Council's Trading Standards manager, said:

"The fact is that food needs to be properly described

so that the consumer can tell what it is.

There is nothing wrong with using other names

but it must be accompanied by the true name of the food.

Consumers have the right to know what is in food

The customer could of course just ask Val what is in the cake, surely???

Dorset County Council Trading Standards team, well deserving of the Prats of The Week award.

Feel free to drop them a note here

Whilst we are on the subject, are there any other products that would upset the Trading Standards team (eg Spitfire Ale contains no spitfires)?


  1. Anonymous8:09 AM

    So that means I won't be able to eat any more of my mum's Yorkshire puddings?
    The rotten bastards!

    Oh, wait a minute, we live in Yorkshire so it's ok.

  2. Anonymous9:09 AM

    But presumably a Yorkshire pudding would have to contain Yorkshire?

  3. Anonymous10:07 AM

    It's time to start making public servant sponge, jobsworth cake, councillor delight and politician rolly polly, all made with the correct ingredients. Although few of us could stomach them, we could at least put them in the compost.

  4. Anonymous10:10 AM

    I like angel food cake but I ran out of angels............

  5. Anonymous11:39 AM

    So corned beef hash will have to contain dope ....

  6. Fairy cakes anyone?

    Bird's Trifle?

    Ski yogurt?

  7. Anonymous1:35 PM

    "Fairy Cakes"?...
    Careful, Ken, you may be charged with hate speech!
    Which makes me wonder if our complainer might have had a faith problem with pigs...but that, too, might be considered hate speech.
    Carry on the good fight, Sir!

  8. Anonymous2:42 PM

    Mississippi mud pie?
    Macaroon bombe
    Devils on horseback

    Grow up and get a real job. What a bunch of sad nobs!

  9. Anonymous4:20 PM

    There's a thread on WebCameron at the moment about the nanny state and banning things:

    If it gets enough votes, David Cameron will answer the post personally (via video) and let us all know what he plans to do about it all when/if he becomes PM. You have to register to vote and comment on the site.

  10. OK folks, here's a few more for you:

    A Slow Comfortable Screw Up Against The Wall

    Richmond's Thick Irish Sausages

    Cottage Pie

    Irish Stew

    Scotch Woodcock (none of the 3 ingredients implied in the name)

    Scotch Egg

    Angels on Horsebacks

    Fidgety Pie (What the fark is a fidget anyway?)



    Cobra Beer

    Tiger Beer

    Kestrel Lager

    The list is endless

  11. Anonymous5:40 PM

    Chocolate Fingers may get a tad more chewy from now on...

  12. The Dorset County Council Trading Standards must be proud of themselves. They made it into the National Post over in the colonies.

    Now even Canada, a nanny state unto itself, knows just how out to lunch you crazy Brits are!!!

  13. Anonymous6:31 PM

    You could always give Trading Standards the Bishop's Finger.

  14. Anonymous10:54 PM

    But at least, if this honesty thing is going to be strictly applied, it should mean that Coucil Officials everywhere will have to begin every pronouncement with the words "I am talking shite..."

  15. Does the council do a trade in standards?
    And do they ever council traders.
    They should be more explicit.

    Oh WO fish fingers.

  16. My favourite pudding: Negress en Chemise.

  17. Anonymous8:56 PM

    The more cases like this the better in my view.

    How about honesty in political descriptions as well?

    New Labour ? Really?

    Conservative ? Honestly?

    Liberal Democrat? At least one of those words seems not to fit the bill.


  18. Anonymous6:58 PM

    It's 'Sgt Bun', not Sgt Bub!
    They make the best cakes ever.
    Absolutely everything they make is scrummy.

    As well as selling from the bakery, Sgt Bun cakes are 'exported' to many local shops, as they are the best!

    They will also make stuff to order - try the Malteser cake.

    I'm a customer, and in no way connected with their business.

  19. Anonymous6:11 PM

    Ivan is a w**ker, ivan is a w**ker, nana na na, nana na na.

    couple of the top of ma head:

    Mars Bars...dnt think theirs any red rocks anywere. - from now on it should be; rectangular caramel topped nougat covered in Galaxy chocolate then

    fishermans pie...ahem

    donuts dont contain ne nuts, do they??

    milk?? wats does that say about the drink??

    Gingerbread men should be labelled as replica men just to avoid ne confusion??

    wat a complete farce, really we need to get these completely outdated prats out of power and put people who atually have touch with 21st reality n then maybe our nation can continue to progress...wat a complete f*uckin JOKE!!!!

  20. Anonymous7:14 PM

    Fishermans Pie??

    Pigs in Blankets??
    How pathetic..surely the Trading Standards have more serious problems to deal with!

    SGT Buns is a great bakery!!