Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Nanny Bans Stairs

Nanny Bans Stairs
Here is a rather daft example of Nannyism from my beloved home town of Croydon.

I pooped into the bar of our local theatre (The Warehouse) the other day, it has been a couple of years since I had a drink in there, and saw that the upstairs bar had been closed down a while ago.

For why?

Aha, can you guess?

Yes, that's right, our old "friend" health and safety!

It seems that the health and safety officers of our council have deemed that the stairs were too steep, and they banned the stairs (the only access point to the rather cosy upstairs bar) from being used; hence the bar had to be closed at some expense.

Now here are a couple of points that kind of make that judgement look daft:

1 The stairs have been used for the last 20 years, without any form of injury

2 If the stairs were not so steep, how the hell would they reach the next floor?

Farking stupid!

However, as you can see from my fight with Croydon council over the arena project, Croydon council wanted The Warehouse shut down anyway. I suspect that this was one of their nasty little tricks to try to shut the place down.

Fortunately the council failed on both counts!

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  1. Anonymous11:09 AM


    I feel sad that Croydonians, according to Nanny, cannot be trusted to use stairs correctly and safely. It must be lovely living in a place where Nanny takes the 'Elf'n'Safety of her citizens so seriously:-))....Perhaps Croydonia Nanny will only allow planing applications for bungalows to get through in the future, after all, we can't have buildings with dangerous stairs now can we?....Perhaps she will impose a compulsory insurance scheme for those living in houses with stairs....I am sure Nanny is getting dafter by the minute!!

  2. Anonymous1:41 PM

    I have jut started a new job in a kitchen - plenty of sharp knives etc around. But Nanny views stairs as major threat to all. Ours were presented to us the portal to hell. Yellow stripes adorn them and one may only exit via them (to take out the bins) not re-enter that requires a walk around the building to the front door, buzz security wait oh 5 mins while the work piles up etc.

    Stairs must be viewed with extreme fear in my workplace so much so that I am developing stairophobia and will have to sue someone very soon.

  3. Anonymous2:17 PM

    Erm, just how did we manage in buildings of one storey prior to the invention of lifts?
    I see a more sinister agenda here,as you suggested, Ken: Nanny wanted to close the theatre; is there by chance a property dealer in the equation?

  4. Lord of Atlantis,

    Indeed there is a property developer involved (see

  5. Anonymous6:09 PM

    Ah, property developers and the oh so ehtical local council a match truly made in heaven for those of the brown envelope stuffed with cash persuasion.

    My own delightful local cosa nostra has been caught at it many times. Backhanders, relatives firms getting the contract etc etc etc. No prosecutions as yet, just dutiful resignations and lessons to be learned etc, while the guilty sly off to count the cash.

  6. "I pooped into the bar of our local theatre"

    I'm surprised they didn't ban you. Disgusting!

    PS Shouldn't it be "onto"?

  7. Elsewhere, in response to a ban on smoking inside pubs, one put up a sizeable tent/roof outside.

    Alas, to keep it from being blown off (and thus becoming "Health and Safety" peril) he tied it to bolts, which in their turn are sunk into concrete weights. Now, the Council considers this a "permanent structure" and are forcing him to apply for a building permit - which, of course, if granted will indeed qualify it as a "structure" and quite probably thereby subject to the smoke ban...

    *Council turns the screw on landlord's smoking shelter*

  8. Anonymous12:48 AM

    Banning stairs? Pathetic!

    Nanny's got plans to banish cigarettes under the counter, in a ridiculous new move to bully us around.

    Let's show Nanny we won't let it happen without a fight! Show your support here:

    Say NO to the Nanny State

  9. Anonymous1:35 AM

    They could always install an elevator.

    Oh, hang on...a small child with claustrophobia might unwittingly walk into it, and...oh, forget I ever said anything.

    It's too much trouble to type anyway, while I'm wearing this bubble wrap suit.

  10. Obnoxio,

    I write with tongue firmly in my cheek at times:)

    Well done tho on being the first to comment on that wee play on words:)


  11. Anonymous10:19 AM

    when do steps become stairs? 2? 3? 5? 10?

    help please this is frying our heads here

  12. Anonymous12:10 PM

    " Ken said...
    Lord of Atlantis,

    Indeed there is a property developer involved (see www.catarena"

    Quelle surprise!