Nanny Bans Donkey Derby

Oh dear, another summer treat for the kids has been kybosched (spelling???) by Nanny.

That ancient seaside/rural summer ritual of the donkey derby has been banned by Nanny's minions in Llandudno.

The donkeys were due to be ridden by around 40 children the other week at a series of races organised by Llandudno Rugby Club, a regular event in Llandudno.

Well, it was regular until Nanny stuck her size tens into the matter. The donkeys were replaced by blow-up sheep and a toy monkey...yes, you did read that correctly!

For why?

Our good old chums related to the health and safety Gestapo felt that the event was just too dangerous.

I would observe that it is the same type of people from the health and safety Gestapo that accredited a certain animal vaccine lab in the South of England with a safety certificate...this would be the same lab that is now suspected of leaking the foot and mouth disease...oh, and it is the same lab that is now being paid by Nanny to produce the vaccine to cure the disease...lucky it has a certificate then, otherwise we would all be in a right old pickle!

Anyhoo, I digress.

The harmless 30 second races, organised by Llandudno Rugby Club, have taken place in North Wales for the last 39 years without nay serious incident. Unfortunately, Nanny's ultra caution now means that the event has to be covered by public liability insurance.

Have you noticed how, when a local authority wants to ban something, it simply trots out the tired old mantra of "public liability insurance"?

This has become the catch all excuse for banning all manner of events and activities.

Funny that isn't it?

Anyone suspect that this excuse is in fact a load of old bollocks, dreamt up by our useless and interfering local councils to stop us living our lives in the way that we want to?

Has anyone actually bothered to take the insurance companies to task, and get them to explain clearly how they come up with their often ludicrous quotes for insurance relating to public events...it usually revolves around the sum of £5M.

The councils, had they a mind too, have the time and the "skills" (I never thought that I would use that word in relation to a council) to do just that. Yet they don't...why is that then?

Robin Holden, the rugby club chairman, said:

"We asked insurers if they could give us cover

for kids racing on donkeys – but they wouldn't touch it."

Tossers!

Seemingly the insurance company excuse is that if a kid falls off the donkey, his/her parents would sue.

Brian Bertola, who helps organise the donkey derby, said:

"The donkeys are used to having children on them,

the speed is negligible,

the kids wear helmets and it's over a short distance.

It's crazy."

We as a society do have ourselves to blame here:

1 We allow insurance companies to screw us royally

2 We sue for the slightest little thing at the drop of a hat

3 We allow local councils to lord it over us.

Although it seems, on the face of it, the local council were not directly involved with this; I can't but help feel had they been a bit more "helpful" (eg ask the insurance companies some pointed questions) a solution could have been found.

Nanny Bans Ponies

Nanny is a fearful old lady, she is easily scared by even the merest mention of risk. That is all well and good, live and let live that's what I always say. Unfortunately, Nanny decides to transfer her fears to the rest of us.

The latest things to scare her are Shetland ponies.

Yes, that's right, Shetland ponies!

Nanny's gimlet eye has fallen upon a herd of 20-year-old Shetland ponies, who reside in the Sussex Horse Rescue animal sanctuary. These ponies have no history of violence or of attacking members of the public. However, Nanny's chums in Horsham District Council have told the sanctuary that it cannot take the ponies to greet children in the street because they are too dangerous.

The council have decreed that Sussex Horse Rescue need an insurance policy of £5M, before the ponies are allowed to mix with human beings on the street.

Horsham District Council are of the belief that a child may be maimed by one of the ponies. Has anyone ever heard of a pony maiming a child???

The charity cannot afford the higher premiums, and will therefore abandon its "meet and greet" scheme which of course used to be one of its best money earners.

Pauline Grant, of Sussex Horse Rescue, said:

"We just can't believe it.

It is going to make a lot of difference to us.

We do it not only to make the money,

we also attract people to our sanctuary.

We have been doing this for 20 years and

we've never had an accident.

We have got two Shetland ponies we use, Sparky and Sinbad,

they are both in their 20s, and two donkeys, Cocoa and Ann.

They are very good-natured."

Nigel Haverson, head of public health and licensing at Horsham District Council, said:

"We have looked at other licensing authorities

and we take advice from insurance and risk people.

Five million pounds is the lowest we can ask for.

When you look at claims settled, they are regularly

four or five million pounds by the time

you take all the costs into account."

A council spokesman added:

"The council is responsible for licensing activities

in Horsham town centre, including charity collections and events.

Licences are required to protect the public in

terms of health and safety and from unfair trade.

A great many such activities take place in Horsham

throughout the year and normally everyone understands

why they need to be fully licensed."

I suspect the "understanding" of which they speak, is in fact a resigned shrug of the shoulders and a "realisation" that the council has them by the gonads.

The council base their demand for insurance cover on the fear that if someone is maimed by a pony, that person will sue the council.

Tell me, why would the council be sued in this case and not the owner of the donkey instead? Is not the council assuming too many responsibilities here?

Why does the insurance premium rank so highly for such a placid creature, and such an unlikely incidence of maiming?

Has a real "risk assessment" by the insurance company really been done; or are the insurance companies merely ripping off the hapless insurees?

Does anyone in our "beloved" and "respected" local councils ever think to ask these questions?

Are members of our local councils simply brain dead automatons?

Nanny's Donkey Inspectors

My thanks to one of this site's regular visitors who advised me of the following piece of Nanny nonsense that happened in Fylde, on the eight mile stretch of beach between Blackpool and Lytham St Annes, over this summer.

It seems that Nanny's chums in Fylde borough council are "investing", I of course mean wasting, £18K of taxpayers' money on health and safety "experts" who will check the safety of donkey rides and other seaside pleasures.

Nanny has set them the onerous and "worthwhile" task of looking into the risks associated with the above activities, as well as doing a thorough health and safety check on such dangerous activities as:

- tossing a Frisbee
- practising golf swings
- collecting and sawing up driftwood

Seemingly the council have said that every aspect of beach activity would be examined and assessed.

If necessary, guidelines would be issued to allow them to be enjoyed in a safe manner.

Utter bollocks!

As ever, Nanny is wasting our money on pointless pursuits.