Health and Safety - Heavy Handed Jobsworths

I see that yet another bunch of Nanny's jobsworths have been "laying down the law" wrt health and safety issues.

This time the health and safety Gestapo have goose stepped their way to Bucknell village railway station, which for several decades has been garnished with flowers etc by members of the Bucknell Women's Institute.

Despite the fact that no one has ever had an accident tending the floral displays, Nanny's chums from Network Rail have now decreed that the WI's actions are contrary to health and safety regulations. Network Rail have ordered that the ladies stop their activities until they complete a risk assessment, arrange insurance and sign a five-page licence restricting their activities.

They will also need to have safety training.

Is this Victoria station?

Ermmm...no...a "staggering" 8 trains a day use the station, at a mind blistering 2mph.

Word on the street has it that when representatives of Network Rail confronted the ladies at the station, the manner of the representatives was not that "polite".

Bully boy tactics from failing state enterprises are not what we expect from our brave new "big society".

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The Dangers of Hanging Baskets

Commiserations to Linda Martin of Wilton, who recently fell foul of the knobheads running Wiltshire Council.

Mrs Martin wanted to brighten up the town centre and so put up some hanging baskets around trees in the Market Place, they had small sponsorship signs from local stores on them.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the council ordered her to take them down because they are a "health and safety hazard" and may also damage the tress....oh, and the "proper procedures" hadn't been followed wrt placing "adverts" on them.

MP John Glen is of the view that it was a ridiculous way to deal with such a matter.

Town councillor Peter Edge said:

"The sponsorship signs were the size of a Post-it Note and the wiring wasn't damaging the trees in any way.

Somebody at Wiltshire Council wants to get a life."

A Wiltshire spokesman said:

"The town council asked us to look at their concerns regarding the way the baskets were attached to the young trees. We confirmed that they could harm the trees and were a potential hazard to pedestrians, especially the partially-sighted.

We are here to support people who want to make a positive difference to their communities and we are happy to work with the town council to find an alternative way of displaying the baskets."

Bollocks!

If someone is that poorly sighted, then they are just as likely to walk into the tree anyway. Therefore the logical conclusion would be to chop down the trees.

I suspect that some sad loser didn't like the fact that "permission" had not been formally given for the adverts, and that the health and safety issue is being used as cover for a jobsworth's spite.

Councils, as ever, demonstrating that they have become the enemy of the people!

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Nanny Bans Hanging Baskets - Again!

Nanny and her acolytes in various organs around the country have something of a bee in their "collective" bonnets over the health and safety issues wrt hanging baskets.

True to form one of Nanny's chums, the Abergele Association of Traders, recently decreed that hanging baskets are to be banned from Abergele High Street.

For why?

Nanny is sore afraid that workers could injure themselves trying to water them.

Even the town council thinks this ban is bollocks. As town councillor, Richard Waters, rightly pointed out there are systems where baskets can be watered from pavement level using a piping system.

Health and safety worries (promulgated by those who actually have no formal health and safety training/qualification) are destroying our society, and making this country a very miserable place indeed to live in.

Let us do to these people what The Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy recommended, namely set them adrift in space.



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Nanny Bans Gardening

Oxford council likes to think of itself as being a good council, all councils have this delusion.

However, they take particular pride in their work in making the community a better place to live in. Indeed, they have even set up a Crime and Nuisance Action Team (CANAcT).

This body seeks out those who would destroy the harmony of the community.

One such person that CANAcT identified as being a clear and present danger to the harmony of Oxford was Malcolm Everton.

Mr Everton lives in a small development of sheltered housing.

Now I can hear you asking what has Mr Everton been up to, that has brought him to the attention of the CANAcT team?

I will tell you, Mr Everton's crime is that of gardening.

Yes, gardening!

Mr Everton became fed up with the dismal conditions of the communal areas of his housing project. He therefore decided to use his initiative and skills, and brighten the place up by doing some gardening.

Now you can see where he went wrong.

You see, in order for Nanny to maintain her control over us she cannot allow people to think for themselves or to act on their own initiative.

Mr Everton has been busy over the past few months; tending plants, clearing weeds, maintaining hanging baskets, cutting grass etc.

This work has been done for free I would add.

Nanny's chums in CANAcT were not amused at this selfless display of initiative and action. They have issued Mr Everton with a notice banning him from:

- mowing the lawn
- making compost
- having bonfires
- painting doors
- growing vegetables

He must also gain approval, in writing, for any future activities.

There was a general uproar from the residents when they heard of this daft ban. Not unreasonably people pointed out that the council ought to be more concerned with weeding out social scum, rather than weeding out a weeder of lawns.

This uproar has not impressed Nanny.

Her spokesman from the council noted that the investigation into Mr Everton's activities have been lengthy and expensive (remember it is the taxpayer who pays though), and that there is a health and safety issue at stake here.

Morons!

The locals each pay £2K a year in council tax; I am sure that they feel that their money is well spent.

Not!

Basket Case

My commiserations to Bob of Great Livermere in Suffolk, who bravely tried to use his own intitiative to brighten his community up but was stopped by Nanny.

His crime?

He put hanging baskets of flowers onto new road signs outside his home, to try to brighten them up and make them look less obtrusive.

Unfortunately Nanny doesn't like anyone thinking for themselves, and acting without her permission.

Consequently Bob has received a letter from Suffolk County Council, telling him to stop hanging baskets of flowers on signs; as they are "a distraction to drivers and they can restrict visibility".

There is of course a counter argument, namely that the flowers will draw motorists' attention to the signs; thus making them more visible.

Bob remains defiant, and is not going to take any notice.

The Perils of Petunias

Nanny, I think, must be suffering from hay fever; that at least can be the only rational explanation for her bizarre banning of petunias and hanging flower baskets.

It seems that for the last seven years Ian Collins, landlord of the Ring of Bells pub in Norton Fitzwarren, has adorned the front of his pub with a stunning display of hanging baskets and window boxes.

Ian has won numerous prizes, including Prettiest Village Pub on four occasions, and he has visitors from around the world to see his floral displays.

However, all this means now't to Nanny's chums in the local council.

The health and safety officials of the council have decided that the hanging and wall-mounted baskets and pots, are a clear and present danger to people. Seemingly some of the petunias and begonias have spilled onto the pavement, and walkers have had to step into the road to avoid them.

Ooh...how dangerous!

Mr Collins has been told to take down his petunias.

Er 34 people die each day in Iraq because of Nanny's efforts to make the world safer, why on earth is she bothering herself with this nonsense?

Nanny also claims that Mr Collins's baskets are hanging below the 8.2ft minimum height, laid down by health and safety regulations, and people could bang their heads on them.

Er could people not just duck their heads?

On that subject my own delightfully useless council, Croydon Council, may like to take a stroll down Dingwall Road (which resembles a post nuclear attack); and try to walk fully erect (can I say erect?) under the trees that "adorn" the wasteland by the side of the railway car park.

You can't be erect, you have to bend your head.

Time they were cut boys!

Anyhoo, I digress, Mr Collins said:

"I have done this for seven years and we have won the Prettiest Village Pub in the Taunton Deane area four times.

I have never heard any complaints and in fact it has been just the opposite.

People compliment me on the display as it brightens up the village. We have had people from Jamaica and America who take pictures to send home.

I spend about £500 a year on flowers but I enjoy doing it because it allows me to put something back into the community."

The problem for Mr Collins, and the rest of us, is that Nanny hates the idea of people doing things on their own initiative.

You see that would mean that we were thinking for ourselves...that is not allowed these days.