Prats of The Week - Kingston Council

Ooh err missus, 'tis a wet and windy Monday morning and therefore time for me to award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Kingston Council.

For why?

For their £275K newly relaunched website that, according to the Surrey Comet, is riddled with errors.

Kingston Society member Matthew Rees tweeted:

“The new @RBKingston website is riddled with errors but I cannot report them as the contact us page is one of those that is broken.”

Classic!

David Cooper tweeted:

“It really is crap. They haven't managed to [do] a simple thing such as setting up redirects from old URLs to the new ones. Basic stuff.”

Conservative councillor Andrea Craig said councillors should have been involved.

“It is a great improvement but...we were not happy that, as usual members, were not consulted properly about it. There were spelling errors in it and there wasn't a small focus group of residents to canvass their opinion/input before implementation.”

A Kingston Council spokesman said:

“The new website is a huge improvement, already successfully handling about 500 transactions (e.g. payments, requests, bookings) a day. 

It reflects what our customers have told us they want. Many people have complimented its design, new features, content, accessibility and mobile-friendly layout. 

The council spent a great deal of time testing the site before it went live. 

With several thousand pages of content there are bound to be a few things that need correcting. 

We have a feedback form on the site for people to tell us what they think and help us to make the site even better.” 

Clearly it was not tested rigorously enough!

Kingston Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Nanny Bans Best Friends

I wrote yesterday about how I have become somewhat "enured (there's a word I don't use often enough) to Nanny's idiocies". However, a mere one day later I found myself yet again issuing forth a "trumpet of rage".

Two tabloids are claiming that some schools are banning primary pupils from having best friends, and instead are being encouraged to play in large groups.

For why?

Apparently, if the story is true, Nanny claims that she doesn't want the children to "suffer the pain of break up".

Well now, if the above is true, then that is the most absurd nonsense to ever issue forth from the bowels of Nanny's diseased mind:

1 Children can only develop into mature, well balanced adults, if they are allowed to experience life's knock backs.

Those who are covered in cotton wool end up becoming spoilt, self obsessed, immature adults (you only have to look at the emotionally retarded/stunted idiots who appear on reality television to see the level of immaturity in some adults).

2 It's not the state's business to interfere in bondings/falling outs between children.

3 "Playing in groups" and "group activities" was exactly the same policy used by Nazi Germany to ensure that people were never alone or able to speak/think for themselves (going against the group is much harder).

Seemingly, if the story is true, this policy has been used at schools in Kingston, South West London, and Surrey.

Please can someone send me the names of the schools were this is happening?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Councils

Ooh err missus!

Tis time methinks to award another of my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to our "beloved" and "respected" local councils in general.

For why?

Well my old muckers it seems that, despite the recession and the new age of austerity, councils across the land cannot resist spending bucket loads of our hard earned cash on worthless shite.

A Freedom of Information request has brought to light oodles of daft expenditures (is that English?) eg:

- Hillingdon paid RADA £2,700 to give a Cabinet Member "executive coaching" sessions
- Lewisham spent £300 on a "using social media" day for one person
- Kensington and Chelsea and Brent spent money (at "no cost" to the taxpayer) on in-house Blackberry courses for councillors
 - Ealing sent someone to Chichester for a "Fruit and Vegetables in Public Gardens" conference
 - Kingston-upon-Thames spent money on an internally-run "key fob training seminar"
 - Richmond sent someone to Cardiff for a training course on sex licensing establishments etc

I dare say that were we and the councils earning bucketloads of cash (and a portion of that bucketload was put away for a rainy day) then spending money on such courses etc may be beneficial (or at least harmless) in a growing economy. However, we are in a recession and during the times of plenty Broon and his chums in the councils never put anything away for today's rainy day.


Therefore I would conclude that councils simply do not get it wrt the financial state that we are in.


Councils are the enemies of the people, and well deserving Pats of The Week!




Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Educhashun

What was it that our beloved leader once said?

"Educashun, educashun, educashun!"

Were we not to see some great revolution in the educashun of our children and young people?

Hmm, well it seems that there has been a revolution; but not maybe the sort that Nanny would have you believe.

It seems that educashunal standards are now so poor, that even students of media studies (that most "Mickey Mouse" of degrees) are having to be placed on remedial courses to improve their lousy English.

Lecturers at Kingston University have recently said that they are forced to give new students lessons in basic English.

Anna Kiernan, a lecturer, is quoted:

"Even with good grades, some students' English

is not up to standard when they arrive at university."

It seems that some institutions have been dumbing down their entry requirements, in order to help meet Nanny's target of putting 50% of young people in higher education by 2010.

At least this will keep the unemployment figures down!

Nanny Bans Glass

Full marks to Nanny's chums in Kingston Council, who have banned the use of glass outside of pubs.

Yes I am being sarcastic!

Eva and I were paying an evening visit recently to one of the waterside hostelries there, whose barmaid asked me if I was intending to drink outside or inside.

I said outside.

She advised me that I would have to have a plastic cup for my beer, as the council were worried about yob behaviour.

I noted that a yob was just as likely to do damage inside as well as outside with glass, and she agreed.

Rather ironically Eva's wine was served in a glass. I asked about this, and was told that they had run out of plastic wine glasses.

I noted that this rather made a mockery of the rules, a point that was fully agreed with.

Next week Nanny will be banning knives, forks and plates.