Ker Farking Ching! - Making Death Pay

As the old saying goes "the only certainty in life is death and taxes".

Kudos therefore to Nanny for finding a way of taxing even the dead, as per this story that was pointed out to me by a loyal reader.

Around 40 people attending a funeral service were somewhat "underwhelmed" when a traffic warden placed a parking ticket onto a funeral limousine outside St Saviours Church on Lewisham High Street.

The Sun claims that, when confronted, the traffic warden said:

“I am doing my job.”

Ah yes, that rather familiar refrain!

Funeral Director Nicki Dunphy said:

“Everyone is outraged. 

She brazenly put the ticket on the car when the family hadn’t even gone into the church. 

We, and other funeral directors, have to stop to unload coffins and to let grieving families exit the cars. 

There are funerals every week at St Saviours Church and dozens of other churches all over the borough and I’ve never heard of this happening before. 

People expect a bit of respect - this isn’t just a public car.”

Unsurprisingly, following a hoo hah, Nanny's chums from Lewisham council have since apologised:

“We apologise for any distress the issuing of this parking ticket has caused. 

Funeral hearses and limousines are exempt from parking restrictions and the Penalty Charge Notice should not have been issued. It has now been withdrawn.”

Proof positive that Nanny will try every trick in the book to raise money from her "loyal" subjects!

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Prats of The Week - Councils

Ooh err missus!

Tis time methinks to award another of my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to our "beloved" and "respected" local councils in general.

For why?

Well my old muckers it seems that, despite the recession and the new age of austerity, councils across the land cannot resist spending bucket loads of our hard earned cash on worthless shite.

A Freedom of Information request has brought to light oodles of daft expenditures (is that English?) eg:

- Hillingdon paid RADA £2,700 to give a Cabinet Member "executive coaching" sessions
- Lewisham spent £300 on a "using social media" day for one person
- Kensington and Chelsea and Brent spent money (at "no cost" to the taxpayer) on in-house Blackberry courses for councillors
 - Ealing sent someone to Chichester for a "Fruit and Vegetables in Public Gardens" conference
 - Kingston-upon-Thames spent money on an internally-run "key fob training seminar"
 - Richmond sent someone to Cardiff for a training course on sex licensing establishments etc

I dare say that were we and the councils earning bucketloads of cash (and a portion of that bucketload was put away for a rainy day) then spending money on such courses etc may be beneficial (or at least harmless) in a growing economy. However, we are in a recession and during the times of plenty Broon and his chums in the councils never put anything away for today's rainy day.


Therefore I would conclude that councils simply do not get it wrt the financial state that we are in.


Councils are the enemies of the people, and well deserving Pats of The Week!




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The Dangers of Trampolines

And we're back in the room!

Sorry for the couple of days absence folks, a few matters elsewhere to attend to.

Anyhoo, my thanks to Uncle John for his recent post about London and Quadrant Housing Association (L&Q) in Lewisham.

They have a thing about trampolines, as Sharon Farmer who has erected a 14ft one each year for the past 10 years in communal gardens in Lewisham found out.

Gosh, that's quite an erection!

Anyhoo, being quick off the mark (ten years after the first erection) L&Q have just decreed that this may pose a health and safety risk; they have demanded that it be de erected.

Ten years without incident might give a clue as to how dangerous this erection (which has a safety net around it) really is.

Anyhoo, L&Q have allowed the trampoline to remain until the end of the school holidays.

So, correct me if I am wrong, if this erection is so dangerous why are they allowing it to remain up for a few more weeks?

This makes no sense whatsoever!

BTW, the kids aren't allowed to play ball games there either...what is it, a prison camp?

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Gutless

On the 18th of May the Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill passed through the commons.

The Bill will remove Parliament from the scope of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), and create a new exemption for MPs' communications with public authorities. It has been explained as a measure that would protect the privacy of MPs' constituents.

In a letter to MPs, the Campaign for Freedom of Information has said that it believes that the bill is unnecessary for this purpose.

Correspondence sent by an MP to a public authority, on behalf of a constituent, is already exempt under the FOI Act's existing exemptions. Moreover, the Campaign says this does not explain why it is proposed to remove Parliament itself (which does not hold MPs' correspondence) from the FOI Act's scope.

On the 18th there was an opportunity, via filibuster, to talk the bill down and to wreck it. Unfortunately, aside from those MP's with the guts to at least openly support the bill, there were those MP's who were gutless and chose to hide their true views from the voters by not voting in the third motion.

These gutless MPs voted for the closure motion, but then didn't vote in the Third Reading. Just 16 minutes later.

This means that they supported the Bill, as they did not join in the attempt to filibuster. However, they were gutless and chose not to put on record that they supported it in the Third Reading division itself.

Here are the names of the gutless MPs:

-Christopher Chope, Christchurch (Con)
-Jonathan Djanogly, Huntingdon (Con)
-Stephen Hammond, Wimbledon (Con)
-Nick Hurd, Ruislip - Northwood (Con)
-Eleanor Laing, Epping Forest (Con)
-Shailesh Vara, North West Cambridgeshire (Con)

-Edward Balls, Normanton (Lab, minister)
-Ian Cawsey, Brigg & Goole (Lab, minister)
-Paul Clark, Gillingham (Lab (PPS))
-Vernon Coaker, Gedling (Lab, minister)
-Barry Gardiner, Brent North (Lab, minister)
-Roger Godsiff, Birmingham, Sparkbrook & Small Heath (Lab)
-Mike O'Brien, North Warwickshire (Lab, minister)
-Bridget Prentice, Lewisham East (Lab, minister)
-Joan Ruddock, Lewisham, Deptford (Lab)
-Barry Sheerman, Huddersfield (Lab)
-Jacqui Smith, Redditch (Lab, minister)
-Gerry Sutcliffe, Bradford South (Lab, minister)

Feel free to write to them, and tell them what you think of their gutless behaviour.

Those who stand for public office should have the courage of their convictions, even if they are wrong, to state them publicly.

The gutless ones above should be removed from office without delay.

Scroll down the menu bar on the right and look for the blue box "Fax Your MP", you can use this to write to them.

Scumbags Come First

It is good to know that Nanny cares so much for the welfare of the young that, not only does she ensure that they are not touched in any inappropriate way (since all adults are paedophiles), she also makes sure that when the "little rascals" misbehave they do not suffer the consequences of their actions.

Unfortunately for the rest of the population (ie the adults) this can make life a tad tedious, especially when violent scumbags are allowed to run amok without due punishment.

Liz Jones, a headteacher at Abbey Manor College in Lewisham, realised the imbalance in the law recently when she suffered a shattered cheekbone after one of Nanny's "darling little angels" punched her in the face.

Liz's crime was to tell 16 year old (an adult by most people's standards) Dexter Hungwa to close a door. He then punched her so hard that she was sent flying across the room with a shattered cheekbone, he also shouted obscenities at her.

Hungwa escaped a jail sentence, despite admitting causing grievous bodily harm.

Instead he was given a 12 month community punishment and rehabilitation order, electronically tagged and ordered to keep a curfew at his South London home between 8.30pm and 7am.

Needless to say, Ms Jones said the failure to send Hungwa to jail was "like being punched again".

Quote:

"It has no regard for either public safety or the safety of anybody else in my position.

Any teacher, any head, anybody working with young people is vulnerable.

It leaves me with very little faith in the criminal justice system.

It undermines our work, the work of the police and the work of crime prevention generally.

When there is a serious offence,

it is not being treated seriously and so, as the victim,

it's like being punched again."

Seemingly, Hungwa sniggered when interviewed by police about the incident.

One union claims that a teacher is attacked or verbally abused every seven minutes.

Some might argue that scumbags like Hungwa should be given a sound thrashing, until their violent streak is well and truly broken, but as we all know folks Nanny does not permit violence in her "perfect" world. Unless of course the violence is being perpetrated by "young" adults or children.