Nanny has encountered a problem, with regard to her desire to screw the electorate for as much tax as possible. Having come up with a brilliant wheeze to deregulate gambling in the UK, thus generating over £2.5BN in gambling tax revenue, she has found that some people are worried about the addictive forces that she may be unleashing.
Given Nanny’s desire to stop you drinking, smoking and eating; it is hardly surprising that people may be forced to turn to gambling, as their only pleasure left in life (note Nanny intends to tax sex very soon). Therefore, there is a considerable risk that she will turn us into a nation of gambling addicts.
However, Nanny has thought of that. She has decided to ensure that the root cause of gambling addiction will be weeded out; whilst still allowing her to collect vast “wedges” of tax, by allowing casinos to spring up all over the UK.
Nanny has decided to ban “grab a toy” and “shove penny” machines from traditional British seaside resorts.
In a “scientific” study, conducted on the back of a fag packet last night, nanny’s little helper Tessa Jowell (the “Culture” Secretary) has decided that “grab a toy” and “shove penny” machines are the root causes of gambling addiction in the UK.
Nanny, by banning these dangerous games, will neuter the concerns expressed by church groups and assorted busybodies; thus ensuring that her casinos can open in towns and cities across the UK.
These casinos will generate the $2.5BN in tax revenues needed for nanny’s tax hungry, fun loving, Chancellor Gordon “Smiler” Brown.
However, the “grab a toy” games tend to be found in amusement arcades located in Britain’s seaside resorts. These arcades provide the resorts with much needed revenue and employment, and are seen to be part of the “traditional” British seaside experience.
The fact that the banning of traditional seaside pursuits may destroy the traditional British seaside is of no concern to Nanny; she and her friends tend to holiday abroad anyway.