Nanny has encountered a problem, with regard to her desire to screw the electorate for as much tax as possible. Having come up with a brilliant wheeze to deregulate gambling in the UK, thus generating over £2.5BN in gambling tax revenue, she has found that some people are worried about the addictive forces that she may be unleashing.
Given Nanny’s desire to stop you drinking, smoking and eating; it is hardly surprising that people may be forced to turn to gambling, as their only pleasure left in life (note Nanny intends to tax sex very soon). Therefore, there is a considerable risk that she will turn us into a nation of gambling addicts.
However, Nanny has thought of that. She has decided to ensure that the root cause of gambling addiction will be weeded out; whilst still allowing her to collect vast “wedges” of tax, by allowing casinos to spring up all over the UK.
Nanny has decided to ban “grab a toy” and “shove penny” machines from traditional British seaside resorts.
In a “scientific” study, conducted on the back of a fag packet last night, nanny’s little helper Tessa Jowell (the “Culture” Secretary) has decided that “grab a toy” and “shove penny” machines are the root causes of gambling addiction in the UK.
Nanny, by banning these dangerous games, will neuter the concerns expressed by church groups and assorted busybodies; thus ensuring that her casinos can open in towns and cities across the UK.
These casinos will generate the $2.5BN in tax revenues needed for nanny’s tax hungry, fun loving, Chancellor Gordon “Smiler” Brown.
However, the “grab a toy” games tend to be found in amusement arcades located in Britain’s seaside resorts. These arcades provide the resorts with much needed revenue and employment, and are seen to be part of the “traditional” British seaside experience.
The fact that the banning of traditional seaside pursuits may destroy the traditional British seaside is of no concern to Nanny; she and her friends tend to holiday abroad anyway.
There is much truth here, but please be consistent.
ReplyDeleteNanny has no real desire to stop us drinking, smoking or eating what we like - she is merely exploiting our treats as a way to make us behave the way she wants.
I am more worried that a shabby rabble is more easily manipulated and spun against than one with a moral backbone and self discipline. However, from what I see decent, civil behaviour is still the overwhelming norm in Britain. The media may attempt to make me lose respect for the public here at large, just as they'd have me come to believe the spoonfed caricatures of stupid fat Americans. But this is not real life.
On gambling and drinking. I think the experiences of societies which sense a loss of power and a loss of dignity, such as conquered American Natives or Chinese peoples, where they became more susceptible as a whole to drink, drugs and gambling; plays into the hands of the victor - in our case, our own "ruling class".
Won't happen here though. I do believe we love old traditions but also new entertainments here more than bright lights, shallow spin and the rivers of piss that follow.
The charm of the East End character may have moved from Bow to Stratford and then to Romford long ago, but the arrival of karaoke did not force us to accept sushi instead of whelks. There is space for everything.
Similarly, the excellence of seaside towns is in the arcade atmosphere that is generated by young hormones and good value arcade games. There is little entertainment value in the automated fair ground swizzes mentioned. What loss.
While I don't understand the appetite for paying to vote on so many phone lines or playing the lottery, but it seems in demand and pretty harmless.
And taxing that pleasure is a sound economic policy.
Please stop moaning about the inevitable need to tax treats. Instead argue the point that in Britain we abhor corruption, and don't want politicians to make life easy for a few big casino companies just to raise tax. If we want such an industry why don't we grow one here and take it to China.