It seems that the Head, Shaun Halfpenny, is afraid that the health and safety Gestapo will cause trouble for the school; if the pupils are allowed to play conkers unprotected.
In view of this fear, the Head has supplied the pupils with goggles; to protect their eyes from conker shards.
I would ask, precisely how many children are blinded each year by flying shards?
The Gestapo have more draconian rules planned for the centuries old game of conkers. I have managed to obtain the secret design plans, created by the health and safety executive, for the new conker protection suit; which will be made compulsory at schools around the country.
This story is a salutary warning about nanny’s methods; she now relies, not only on the law to exercise her will, but fear.
As Mr Halfpenny said to reporters:
"These days you cannot be too careful, especially when health and safety inspectors are watching."
He has expressed, in this sentence, what Britain has become; a nation living in fear of being watched by nanny and her Gestapo.
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