The New Battle of Trafalgar

Tomorrow is the 199th anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar; it is probably going to be a low key event. However, in 2005 the UK will be holding a series of celebrations across the country; to mark the 200th anniversary of Nelson’s victory over Napoleon, and to commemorate Nelson’s death.

Unfortunately if you live in Totnes, Devon, you will not be celebrating.

It seems that Nanny’s arrogant friends in the local council are worried that celebrating Trafalgar Day will offend the French.

Needless to say their motives are not entirely altruistic. Totnes is twinned with Vire in France, and of course Nanny’s friends in Totnes council would not want any of their jolly council junkets to France (paid for by the residents of Totnes) cancelled; just because of a national celebration.

This is not the first time that Nanny’s acolytes in Totnes have come up with a hair brained scheme. They recently made a laughing stock of themselves, by trying to twin their town with Afghanistan. Needless to say no one had thought of which town in Afghanistan they should twin with, nor indeed precisely what use to the Afghan people the twinning would be.



However, Nanny and her friends never care about practicalities; gesture politics is the name of the game. In the opinion of Totnes council the larger, and more futile the gesture, the better.

Regarding offending the French, I would venture to suggest that there may be some British people who are offended by:

• The fact that the French sold Exocets to the Argentineans during the Falklands war.



• The fact that Chirac did not support the UK overthrow of Saddam Hussein.



• The fact that Chirac insulted the English language and America, when visiting China a few days ago.



• The fact that France breached the UN sanctions in Iraq.



• The fact that in Caen, they have regular celebrations for William the Conqueror.

However, the British people would quite rightly say “so what”; the above does not affect the high regard that the British have for French culture, French cuisine and the people of France.

That being the case, why do Nanny’s councillors presume to judge what the French may think of us for celebrating Trafalgar Day?

As usual with Nanny’s acolytes, they act before they think; or maybe indulging in Totnes’s new pastime, as advertised on “Caned in Totnes”, has impaired their mental faculties?