Nanny's Child Catcher

Nanny’s Children’s Minister, Enver Hodge, is currently recruiting for her much heralded position Children’s Commissioner. The function of this role is apparently to enable children to get their views across to government.

This role will bring in a stonking £100K a year to the post holder, doubtless worth every penny!

It seems that, despite the fact that children neither vote nor pay tax, Nanny feels they have a right to say how the country should be run. Needless to say that by flattering them that their opinion actually matters, which of course it doesn’t, Nanny turns them into loyal future supporters.

Nanny’s friend Enver will be overseeing the recruitment of this new position, and has stamped her own “charming” personality on the recruitment process; by making the prospective candidates face an interview panel of children.

Key personality traits for this “vital” role are that the post holder must not “get stressed out or yell”, nor must he/she “make promises which are then broken”.

Well that rules out all our elected members for sure!

This love and concern for children, being displayed by Enver, should come as no surprise. Less than 20 years ago, Enver was in charge of Islington Council during the period that some 32 council staff were found to be systematically abusing children; some were even running brothels for paedophiles, being “staffed” by children from the council’s children homes.

It has taken a while for Enver to really face up to this problem, even as recently as last year she had to be reminded by one of her victims of the true horror of the situation.

In 2003 she wrote to the BBC; claiming that one of the victims, Demetrious Panton, was “extremely disturbed”. Needless to say this dim-witted outburst backfired, and Enver had to apologise and pay £10K to a charity.

Now that this sorry episode is behind her, who better should be in charge of children’s welfare and selecting the candidate for the new role of Children’s Commissioner?