Nanny, although a strict disciplinarian herself, tried to outlaw parents smacking their own children this week.
However, her plans came a little unstuck when MP’s in the House of Commons voted to allow “reasonable chastisement” of children to continue; so long as there were no visible marks.
Should there be a visible mark on the child’s posterior, the parents will have been deemed to have broken the law.
Needless to say, Nanny knows that this “fine piece of legislation” is of course unworkable.
Precisely how will Nanny’s snoopers and spies know if there are marks on children? The police, quite rightly, pointed out that it was a nonsensical and unenforceable piece of legislation.
However, do not despair, Nanny has a plan.
Nanny remembers reading the British satirical comic Viz in her youth. One storyline that featured regularly in this fine publication, was that of Britain being ruled by a Gestapo like authority known as “The Bottom Inspectors”.
Their mission was to ensure that peoples’ bottoms, have you noticed that it’s always bottoms with the Brits, were up to the standards of the “Bottom Reich”.
Viz unknowingly, but presciently, had provided Nanny with the solution to her problem.
Nanny will form an elite body of men and women, known as “The Bottom Inspectors”. They will, like all other organs of the nanny state in the UK, poke their noses into the very private aspects of peoples’ lives; namely, their bottoms.
Should you wish to join “The Bottom Inspectors” please send your CV, and a brief summary of why you want to join, to anthonyblair@gmail.com
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