Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, November 26, 2004

Resistance Is Futile

Resistance is FutileNanny is getting a little testy these days, about people constantly criticising her for interfering in their lives.

What a shame!

In fact she has become so annoyed that she has sent her “well respected” apparatchik, Enver Hodge, to tell the British people to “shut up”.

Enver Hodge went on the airwaves today to defend Nanny, and to speak up for the "unsung virtues" of the nanny state.

Dear old Enver has had, you may recall, quite a colourful past life; running a bankrupt and corrupt council.

Enver and friends at Islington council

In the glory days of the 80’s and 90’s Enver was involved with Islington Council, and its childcare policy. In Islington a number of children, in Nanny’s care, were abused by some 32 members of staff; yet Hodge did not act. Indeed when the Evening Standard started to report the issue in 1992, she accused it of “gutter journalism”.

She then managed to further pour salt in the wounds, by writing to the BBC in 2003; claiming that one of the victims, Demetrious Panton, was “extremely disturbed”. Needless to say this dim-witted outburst backfired, and Enver had to apologise and pay £10K to a charity.

In addition to allowing systematic abuse to occur, whilst under her “watch”, Enver managed to bankrupt Islington council. During her period in office she made sure that her own children were kept well out of the clutches of Nanny, by sending them to fee paying schools.

Her nickname, coined by her own staff, during this period was “Enver Hodge”; a reference to the Stalinist dictator of Albania.

With credentials like that, Nanny knew that Enver was the ideal person to lecture parents on how to bring up their children. Indeed Nanny lived in the same street in Islington as Enver Hodge, they were special friends.

Now Enver is back, and has unveiled her “splendid” new plan to tell parents how to bring up their children.

Enver’s department has published a booklet today, which will be given to all new parents, outlining Nanny’s preferred child rearing techniques.

Nanny offers some very worthy advice, such as; how to read a book with a child, and warning parents not to let children watch too much TV.

Enver became rather testy during her media appearance; noting that Nanny is tired of the barrage of attacks over her moves to restrict the right to smack children, smoke in public and eat fatty foods.


"I want to celebrate the unsung virtues of state intervention on behalf of families, and I want to expose the contradictions in the position of the Right. There's an element of 'nimbyism' in our attitude to the nanny state. It's all right to put speed bumps outside our front doors to slow down traffic and enhance our property values..

..But we resent the nanny state speed camera catching us as we are late for work and breaking the speed limit..

..The Right, who relish attacks on the nanny state, are very ready to impose their moral values. It is the Right who are constantly telling people how to live their lives

Destruction of the BorgShe finished her tirade by noting that eventually everyone will agree with Nanny; ie Nanny will simply wear us down, until all opposition is extinguished.

Sounds like the refrain of the Borg “resistance is futile”, and we all know what happened to them don’t we children?


  1. Yes...they were pushed to the edge of extinction by species 8472 before the Voyager team stepped in to help them out. Not your best comparison, but I think I see what you're getting at.

  2. Anonymous11:18 PM

    Perhaps it should start being called


    We'll deal with the Voyager if and when they build it.