Nanny’s trolls and sprites in Croydon Council have been very busy of late, bringing the Borough to the edge of bankruptcy.
However, their prime goal, that of pleasing Nanny always takes priority. In the past they have ruminated over the meaning of Christmas, and decided that Croydon should not be overtly supportive of this Christian festival; lest it offend others.
Therefore, in 2002, they decided to remove the illuminated display shown each December of a Christmas tree and a cross on each side of Taberner House (the town hall). These symbols were formed by leaving selected room lights on until midnight.
Now, moving on a couple of years, Nanny’s friends in the council have decided that they will not be footing the £1500 bill for the erection (can I say erection on a public blog?) of a Christmas tree in the town centre.
The good burghers of Croydon cite the fact that costs, and health and safety issues, make this erection impossible.
Now before you all despair at the thought of my beloved Borough (yes I live in Croydon) being without a Christmas tree, don’t.
Nanny’s sworn enemy Ronald McDonald, purveyor of proscribed foods, has come to the rescue.
His company, McDonalds, will pay for an erection in Croydon.
We will have a tree!!
However, the council never ones to take a slap in the face lightly have responded. They will be doing their best to keep the lighting ceremony low key, ie they don’t want one.
Tony Hart, the town centre manager, said the cost of organising a formal event for the turning-on of the lights had rocketed over the past few years; due to health and safety regulations, and it would therefore be a low-key and understated affair.
In a further slap in the face to the citizens of Croydon, Mr Hart said that there would be no other Christmas decorations in the town centre; unless enough money could be raised from local businesses.
It looks like that we will be having a truly crappy Christmas in Croydon this year, thanks to Nanny’s friends in the council.
Those of you wishing to read more about how badly Croydon is run, please visit www.croydoniscrap.com