Wednesday, November 09, 2005
A Room With A View
Nanny has so many projects on the go, and so many people working for her (around 7 million now work for the state), that she constantly needs to take more money from her "charges" in order to fund her Nanny State.
Her plans for raising money next year, via a revaluation of the council tax, were thwarted by political expediency. The revaluation was postponed, because Nanny feared a backlash during the general election over higher council tax bills.
However, the election is now over, and Nanny is never thwarted for long in her desire to screw us for more tax. The review of council tax was merely postponed; have no fear, one is coming.
Nanny then came up with a particularly clever wheeze the other day, that would kill two birds with one stone; on the one hand it would raise extra revenue, and on the other it would give all those naughty people who live in "nice" areas a slap for being so bourgeois (Nanny hates the middle classes).
Nanny has decided to reintroduce that old tax favourite of the Middle Ages, the window tax. However, this time she will adapt it to the 21st century; council taxes will rise for those properties that Nanny considers to have a "nice view".
How very scientific!
Officials preparing the ground for the forthcoming revaluation exercise have been told to gather data on whether homes have views, roof terraces and large patios. Nanny has assigned "value significance codes" to 66 features of properties; ie if the box saying patio or golf course is ticked, it means your property is worth more.
Can you guess who is in charge of this revaluation exercise?
Yes that's right, John Prescott (Nanny's Smooth Talking Bar Steward)!
With Nanny's Smooth Talking Bar Steward in charge, you just know that this will work; don't you?