Nanny has so many projects on the go, and so many people working for her (around 7 million now work for the state), that she constantly needs to take more money from her "charges" in order to fund her Nanny State.
Her plans for raising money next year, via a revaluation of the council tax, were thwarted by political expediency. The revaluation was postponed, because Nanny feared a backlash during the general election over higher council tax bills.
However, the election is now over, and Nanny is never thwarted for long in her desire to screw us for more tax. The review of council tax was merely postponed; have no fear, one is coming.
Nanny then came up with a particularly clever wheeze the other day, that would kill two birds with one stone; on the one hand it would raise extra revenue, and on the other it would give all those naughty people who live in "nice" areas a slap for being so bourgeois (Nanny hates the middle classes).
Nanny has decided to reintroduce that old tax favourite of the Middle Ages, the window tax. However, this time she will adapt it to the 21st century; council taxes will rise for those properties that Nanny considers to have a "nice view".
How very scientific!
Officials preparing the ground for the forthcoming revaluation exercise have been told to gather data on whether homes have views, roof terraces and large patios. Nanny has assigned "value significance codes" to 66 features of properties; ie if the box saying patio or golf course is ticked, it means your property is worth more.
Can you guess who is in charge of this revaluation exercise?
Yes that's right, John Prescott (Nanny's Smooth Talking Bar Steward)!
With Nanny's Smooth Talking Bar Steward in charge, you just know that this will work; don't you?
I fear my local council may have done me a favour then by approving the building of a block of 'executive' apartments some 20 feet from my front door as this will almost completely erase the stunning vista of rooftops, a garage and the back of the local Tandoori. I shall withdraw my complaint to the planning directorate forthwith and wait for my rebates to flow in.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget, the smooth-talking bar-steward is also trying desperately to get us all to love hideous, ugly wind-farms. Do you think this might be connected?
ReplyDeleteThe village of Kirkhamgate near Wakefield has a row of luxury bungalows set in sunken gardens, back from the road; the view from their rear gardens is across the valley to the next village and Emley Moor.
ReplyDeleteThe bottom of the valley is filled with the roaring M1 motorway(a sight I love to admire) and the Moor itself is home to Britain's tallest free-standing building,Emley Moor TV tower.
This is also a beautiful site.
But a clever resident could easily claim that the M1 and the Tower are eyesores,so that one prejudice could defeat the prejudice of the government.
I live in a Band "A" rated housing association flat in Runcorn New Town, but I do have a view across the Cheshire Plain to the North Wales hills. However I also "enjoy" a view of that pollution-spewing cancerous (and cancer causing) malignancy on the Cheshire landscape: the Stanlow petrochemical complex. That should get me a discount with a bit of luck.
ReplyDeletePete - that's not an eyesore, it's modernist architecture. Expect a bigger bill for the pleaseure of being able to see it every day ;)
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