Another "Bright" Idea From Nanny's Bar Steward

Those of you who are worried about the stability of the housing market, may need to turn away from your screens now.

Nanny has decided that she wants to add to the regulatory burden of selling a house, and has selected one of the finest minds in her cabinet to tackle this tricky subject.

Can you guess who that is?

Yes, that's right, none other than Nanny's smooth talking bar steward John Despot.

The very mention of his name in association with the housing market, something that underpins the British economy, should send shivers down everyone's spines.

Anyhoo, dear old John has come up with a real humdinger of a plan.

The benefits or rationale of his scheme, to either seller or buyer, remain unclear; nonetheless that has never stopped him in the past from doing something, and that most certainly won't stop him now.

He wants to introduce home information packs during 2007, which he says will reduce the cost of buying a home.

Really?

The packs would be prepared by the seller, at an estimated cost of up to £1000; theoretically they would provide the buyer with all the information that he/she would need, eg ownership evidence and a property "health report".

However, as with all of Nanny's ideas, this idea has not been thought through.

• Pre implementation there will be a rush of property sales, to avoid the £1000 cost and huge administrative burden; this will undoubtedly destabilise and inflate the already highly sensitive housing market.



• The regulations will spawn a whole new class of "property cowboy", people and firms who will charge exorbitant fees for preparing these packs; needless to say they will operate without any form of regulation.



• The fact that a seller prepares one of these packs, will be in no way a guarantee of the condition of the property; buyers will still have to pay for a survey. So how exactly does this reduce the cost of buying a property John?

The Bar Steward of course doesn't care about any of these problems, as he already has use of several homes (one for each of his Jaguars).



Buy a selection of "Bollocks To The Bar Steward" T shirts and thongs here.