Goodness me, my earlier article about Nanny's Anti Fag Gestapo certainly seems to have caused some "discussion".
Anyhoo, it got me thinking about how to throw a spanner into the works of Nanny's evil spying plan. I remembered, as a child, having some fake fags that emitted a fine white powder when you puffed them.
A brief trawl of the net reveals that these products are still readily available, eg here. Therefore a simple, and legal, way to make Nanny's spying game unworkable is for people to start using these fake fags in public and to clog up the legal system with spurious cases.
Go to the pub, or restaurant of your choice, then start puffing away on the fake fag (filled with the white powder of your choice). Nanny's Gestapo will, needless to say, be all over you like a rash; threatening you with trial and fines etc etc.
However, you have not broken the law, as you have not been smoking. Pretty soon, the courts will fill up with erroneous fag smoking cases, Nanny will realise that her plan to spy on us is unworkable.
Does this sound like a plan?
Here's a radical idea.
ReplyDeleteGiven that the smoking snoops don't appear to have any powers of arrest (yet), surely you are well within your rights not to supply your personal details to the weasely bastards?
"You, smoker! You're reported. Name?"
"Fuck off."
It's almost worth taking up smoking again so I can put this to the test.
Sir Stewart makes an excellent suggestion but I fear they would probably call in their undercover cromies and follow you home before harrassing you children, aged parents ar whatever. Either that or call in the uniformed lot to smash your door down at 4am and thrust a gun in your face and detain you as an urban terrorist and mass murderer.
ReplyDeleteHowever my mind has also been mulling the idea of taking up smoking for similar reasons.
Ken's idea may fare little better. My guess is that they would go for 'Perverting the course of (in)Justice' which carries a 'higher tariff' and of course is named in such a way that nobody could deny the alleged perpetrator is clearly an evil and amoral person.
I like the idea. I wonder if it will be ok to shoot them with a paintball gun.
ReplyDeleteYou will probably get nicked for illegally dispersing an unauthorised powder in a public place. You will be expected to provide a safety data sheet on the powder as a minimum.
ReplyDeleteI don't smoke but would certainly love to cause trouble for these nazi policies.
Maybe if enough get a decent kicking but in the UK we will probably just put up with it. Just like how in went back in the 1930s.