Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Nanny's New Book Burners

Orchard Books Editorial Department
Are you sitting comfortably children?

Then I'll begin:

"Once upon a time there was a very nasty

bunch of people living in Naziland,

who didn't much care for freedom of speech

or expression.

When they came across 'seditious'

material in a book, magazine or

newspaper they would burn it.

That way all these nasty 'seditious'

thoughts and ideas wouldn't pollute

the pure minds of the citizens of Naziland.

Fortunately the good people of Britain,

and what was left the free world, bombed

the bastards to death.

That, my dears, was the end of book

burning in Western Europe

Or was it?

You see there are other forms of "book burning" that don't necessarily require a physical conflagration, and are less obvious.

For example, if Nanny can censor a book before it is even published that removes the need for a public burning.

Nanny's chums in Orchard Books are converts to the 21st Century version of book burning. They were shocked and appalled at the ideas being developed in a book by Lindsey Gardiner, and therefore decided to tell her to remove certain parts from her book before they would publish it.

What were her crimes?

Poetry praising suicide bombers maybe?

No, you go to jail for that in Nanny's Britain (rather odd that Rupert Brooke was praised less than a century ago for his turgid tripe eulogising the glories of war), the book is a children's book.

The crime?

Ms Gardiner featured a fire-breathing dragon, which the book burners at Orchard Books felt to be a health and safety hazard.


I hear you ejaculate (can I say ejaculate?)

I kid you not!

Seemingly, in Britain's new order, the scene showing her dragon toasting marshmallows with his breath was deemed likely to encourage children to do the same.

Errrmm...can anyone spot the rather obvious flaw in this dubious "logic" employed by Orchard?

Yes, that's right, there aren't any farking dragons!

However, those of you who are into dragons may enjoy this episode of "Ivor The Engine" which has escaped the book burners.

Ms Gardiner was also instructed to remove scenes relating to an electric cooker with one element glowing red (it had to be changed to green???), and of a boy on a ladder.

How the fark are children meant to learn about the world, if they are not allowed to read about it?

People have ladders and cookers, you cannot edit them out of real life.

Ms Gardiner noted that her manuscript for "Who Wants A Dragon?" was hardly any more dangerous than Hansel and Gretel, Red Riding Hood etc (all involving death by eating, child molestation scenarios and allegories for the onset of puberty).

Ms Gardiner said:

"It's a sad reflection of modern society."

She is quite right, Nanny and her book burners are destroying society in a way that the people of Naziland could only dream of.

She added:

"I've had books published in Japan,

France, Spain and Holland and

they don't ask for the same changes.

It seems to be in Britain and the U.S.

that there are problems

We have become what we sought to protect the world from, intolerant book burners.

Orchard Books claim:

"With a wealth of fascinating fiction

and stimulating non-fiction,

we've got everything you'll ever need

Why not drop them a note and let them know what you think?

Here is the link Orchard Books

The people of Orchard Books should remember this:

"Where first you burn books you next burn people."


  1. Our children and grandchildren are being brainwashed at school now. I listened to my granddaughter's take on history and geography. It seems to be from a very one sided anti British point of view. Perhaps this is why Nanny wants our children to stay at school for a further two years, so that she can complete the brainwashing because after all, it takes along time to brainwash commonsense and natural thoughts and tendencies out of people and to turn them into Nanny's drones.

  2. Anonymous2:08 PM

    No wonder the kids now a days, are a fucking mess!
    Fine books & literature is being tampered with like this, but a kid can just instead buy a computer game or just switch on the telly at 8pm+, to see people being stabbed, mugged & killed.

    This once fine country, is slowing turning into a pathetic sniveling mess!

    Good luck to us all!

  3. grumpy7:19 PM

    This looks very much like a two-pronged attack. Turn out illiterate kids from our schools and then, just in case any of them might have slipped through the net, stop them from reading anyway.

    The Emperor Tiberius complained that the Roman plebs were interested in nothing but 'bread and circuses'. The Nazis, having read their history books, saw that by keeping a (very) close watch on their citizens and giving them lots of spectacular parades and stuff - as well as burning books - they could keep the populace 'happy'.
    It seems as though Gordy and his crew of incompetents DID learn some history after all; for 'bread and circuses' substitute 'reality TV; for 'book burning' substitute 'suppression of inappropriate literature'.
    Any day now the 3:00 am 'home visits' will start.

  4. Anonymous8:12 AM

    Ken:'Yes, that's right, there aren't any farking dragons!'

    WTF? You'll be telling me next that Santa and the Easter Bunny are merely the product of some advertising scam! I hate you Ken! :ob

    I want my mum!