I understand that the House of Lords is about to debate a very important issue, one that affects all of us.The issue?
-Terrorism?
No
-The Credit Crunch?
No
-Labour's donations scandal?
No
Give up?
OK then, I will tell you.
The House of Lords is about to debate that most burning of issues, the thickness of slices in a ready cut loaf of bread and the dangers posed to our health by the "thick" sliced loaves.
Seemingly a thick slice contains a zillion calories more that a medium slice. Needless to say Nanny is displeased with this, and as such wants to ban thick sliced loaves.
Errmm here is a radical suggestion, why doesn't she just let the consumer decide which type of loaf that they buy?
Quite why the House of Lords is wasting their time on this most absurd of issues is beyond me.
Get a knife, buy an uncut loaf and cut the thing the way you want it; or just buy a medium/thin sliced loaf.
Problem solved!
Unfortunately Nanny doesn't think that we have the brains or the will power to make such decisions, and feels the need to take away our right to choose.
Here is an excellent way to indulge yourselves with slice of thick white, one that I really enjoyed when I was growing up (it did me no harm).
-Cut a thick slice of white bread
-Toast it
-Spread it with a generous amount of beef dripping
-Add copious quantities of salt and pepper
-Eat
Mmmmmm...scrummmy!
The phrase 'fiddling while Rome burns' springs to mind. The whole political process in this country is currently in meltdown, and this is what they are concerned with? Abolish the whole damn lot of them and put the Queen in charge. How could she screw it up worse? (And she'd be a gazillion times cheaper).
ReplyDeleteNanny is silly.
ReplyDeleteCarbohydrates, good; fat, bad. (I'm sure she's told us that before.)
Thick slices of bread with butter mean a greater proportion of carbohydrates to fat than thin slices of bread with butter.
The minion of Nanny who is monitoring this site will surely report this back to her, so soon we can expect the reverse of this story;we will see that 'Nanny bans thin bread ' will be the way to go.
Or maybe 'Nanny bans butter.'
Or maybe 'Nanny bans unsliced bread' because if you cut bread yourself you might, while in the process, cut yourself.
One of my favourite ways to eat toast is to butter it hot, then let it cool down and butter it again.
On occasion I add Marmite, I'm told it's high in salt.
After admitting behaviour like this I suppose I should remain anonymous,
Kevyn Bodman
Is it me or do others get the feeling that something’s coming to a head in this country?
ReplyDeleteEverywhere you look there’s so much frustration over the lack of mature leadership in every branch of public administration. We have politicians whose primary concerns for the last 10 years have been winning elections and staying in power. When they find time to also have a go at solving the country’s problems they only succeed in making things worse, usually stumbling from disaster to disaster.
In our current time of need, we see a prime minister behaving like a drowning man fighting for his life. One gets the impression that if he does manage to come up for a breath of air, his priorities for its use will be:
1. Crying for help.
2. Staying in power.
3. Expanding the role of the state.
4. Solving the country’s problems.
The comments of frustration in the Daily Telegraph yesterday and today are fairly alarming even by Telegraph standards. They start to give a sense of what life may have been like in 1930s Germany.
I really get the impression that after 10 years of cotton wool and political correctness instead of sensible and efficient management, people are finally starting to crack. I don’t know what the immediate consequence will be but I hope it’s not on a par with 1930s Germany.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...
ReplyDeleteSorry, I'll conduct myself in a... aha ha ha ha ha.. Sorry, sorry!
So, let me get this straight...?
Nanny can't control immigration!
Nanny can't stop crime!
Nanny can't stop corruption, in her own party!
Nanny can't sort out the NHS!
Nanny can't sort out transport!
BUT... SAVE THE DAY!
Nanny's going to make sure we don't eat too much bread!...
Am I the only one who's finding this story disturbing yet hilarious?
Steve, North London
Don't ban thick sliced bread: Let's ban thick politicians.
ReplyDeleteWhen will we see Nanny's Bread Slice Thickness Monitoring Wardens on the streets? Perhaps they can come around our homes with the Pro Bike police that are going to visit us all.
Stupid, f****ng ba****ds.
ReplyDelete"The minion of Nanny who is monitoring this site will surely report this back to her"
ReplyDeleteThen I have a message for him/her/it/them. Your days are numbered you wardenising, pompous, patronising, Leftie PC gits! There is a strong wind blowing.
And stay out of my farking kitchen!
Presumably Nanny just gives the House of Lords these things to debate to make them look stupid. Then they can be abolished - er, oh, no, where woule the donors come from then?
ReplyDeleteAs for bread - who can afford to eat bread these days? All because Nanny and her covens around the world want to put ethanol into fuel to 'save the planet'.
Mass starvation seems a rather drastic way to go about it but probably offers the only realistic approach. Assuming that any sort of action is necessary which is highly debatable.
Can we still have thick slices if we promise to eat only one slice?