Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Nanny Bans Pipes

The Dangers of The PipesIt was to be expected, I suppose, that Nanny would finally set her gimlet eye upon the cultural icon of Britain...the bagpipes.

The pipes that have been used in war and peace over the centuries, to promote Britain and its interests throughout the world, have now been deemed by Nanny chums in Brussels to be a health and safety hazard.

Pipers must now adhere to strict volume limits, or run the risk of breaking European Union health and safety laws. Pipe bands have been ordered to tone down or wear earplugs to limit noise exposure to 85 decibels.

A pipe band played at full volume peaks at 122 decibels outdoors, noisier than the sound of either a nightclub or a chainsaw, which rises to 116 decibels.

The last time there was a pipe ban was after the Jacobite rising of 1745, and the defeat of Bonnie Prince Charlie's clansmen at the battle of Culloden.

The rules, part of the control of noise at work regulations introduced by the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) following a Brussels directive, are of course bollocks.

You cannot play the pipes quietly!

An HSE spokesman said:

"If an employer discovers an employee has been exposed above the exposure defined in the regulations they must take action."

I find the use of the word "must" by Nanny's troglodytes to be offensive.

Pass the sick bag someone!

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  1. Anonymous10:20 AM

    Euro Nanny won't be happy until she has completely destroyed all of British culture.

    I wonder if she'll ban the Alpine Horn? Doubt it, it's not British and other countries within the EU don't follow every Euro Nanny diktat like our weak anti British government do!!

  2. Anonymous10:39 AM

    I knew tghe EU would finally get something right!

  3. Anonymous11:23 AM

    The wee skirl of the pipes, the crash of fireworks on bonfire night, all unique traditions to these islands that membership of the EU will destroy. But, oh well, all the big three parties love the EU for the gravy train it represents for them at the end of their 'illustrious' careers - eg when we chuck them out in the case of Peter 'Ladyboy' Mandelson or never elect them in the case of Neil Windbag Kinnock.

    Vote UKIP and let's get out while we still can!

  4. Anonymous12:42 PM

    George Orwell couldnt have made this stuff up!


  5. Anonymous1:39 PM


    Orwell simply foresaw what would happen. He was right with the Soviet Union and he was right with the EU.

    Sadly, this country fought for years to get rid of the USSR only to then be sold out by our 'political elite' to the EUssr.

  6. Anonymous3:07 PM

    A recent comment on Question Time by one politician to a Labour minister made me laugh.

    " Orwell's 1984 was meant to be a warning, not a blue print!"

  7. Anonymous3:17 PM

    This one was quashed on 28 April, thank goodness. Here's a link:

    The spokeslady said the noise level directive was primarily made for noise-intensive sectors such as airports or manufacturing, and limits the average exposure of workers to 87dB for eight hours per day over a working week.

  8. Anonymous3:58 PM

    I suggest that the tosser who is responsible for this proposal should be forced to go into the roughest pub in Glasgow, at about midnight on a Friday or Saturday night and repeat his idea out loud. My guess is that he would leave the building via a window (unopened) and minus his teeth!
    And serve him right!

  9. Many of my forebears served with distinction in a number of fine Scottish regiments and a great uncle related the tale of how, during WW1 he went into action with the pipers playing, walking at a slow pace only to see the enemy flee ahead of what they called "the devils in skirts". The pipes and the general ferocity in battle of his regiment had put the fear of God into them.

    Nowadays I'm sure the enemy would roll around laughing to see a bunch of fighting men approaching with muffled pipes just in case the noise infringed the enemies human rights to a peaceful existence as demanded by Nanny and the EU. Furthermore I can see the day when they are expected to use non-lethal ammunition and make sure bayonets are covered in case someone cuts themselves.

    Personally, I'm all in favour of rounding up a few hundred pipers and drummers, heading to Strasbourg and subjecting the Eurocrats to a few tunes of glory.

  10. Anonymous10:34 PM

    What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?

    No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.

    all joking aside, I think nanny is tying to see how far she can push the Great Brits before they turn around and bite her in the *ss.

  11. Anonymous11:19 PM

    Okay, given that we're into the old bagpipe jokes ...

    What's the definition of a gentleman?

    Someone who knows how to play the bagpipes but doesn't!