My word, isn't funny how when one of Nanny's lickspittle councils bans something the others race to follow suit?
Such is the case with that seemingly harmless street decoration, bunting (click the tag "bunting" to read about another place that banned it).
Nanny's chums in Dorset County Council have determined that bunting attached to lampposts (you know, those rather solid looking objects driven into concrete pavements) constitutes a serious threat to health and safety, because the bunting might cause the lampposts to topple over.
Yes, you did read that right, Nanny thinks that the lampposts might topple over!
Call me naive, but if something as lightweight as bunting could cause a lamppost to topple doesn't that mean that there is a serious flaw with the lamppost and/or its fixing to the pavement?
Regrettably commonsense such as that did not save the bunting in time for the annual Ferndown Carnival week in Dorset the other week. Bunting was banned for the first time in over 20 years.
Rod Mainstone, Dorset County Council's street lighting manager, attempted to justify this bizarre piece of Nanny fretting via a guidance note sent to town and parish councils:
"Street lighting columns are not generally designed to be strong enough to support any additional attachments.
Even relatively light additions such as a small sign can lead to considerable extra load being imposed on a column in strong wind.
Furthermore, internal corrosion, which cannot be seen, may have weakened the column and the additional load could lead to it collapsing."
Three points:
1 Bunting and other crudola has been attached to lampposts for yonks, no lamppost has ever fallen over because of it.
2 If Mr Mainstone really believes that the lampposts have corroded, shouldn't his department be checking the lampposts and if necessary be replacing them?
3 The Italians managed to hang Mussolini and his mistress from lampposts at the end of the last war, without them toppling over.
It sounds like complete bullshit to me!
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Ken;
ReplyDeleteI agree, his comments are complete bollocks!!
I suspect Nanny just hates to see people enjoying themselves or, each council officer is involved in a national competition to see who can get the most ridiculous policy put into place....There have certainly been a few front runners recently!!
I think I need Health and Safety assistance right now as I'm about to die of laughter!
ReplyDeleteTypical council jobsworths: cannot bear to see anyone enjoying themselves. If lampposts are so fragile, how come every year the ones in my town and, presumably, most other towns and cities too, are festooned with election posters?
ReplyDeleteYou observed, Ken:
"1 Bunting and other crudola has been attached to lampposts for yonks, no lamppost has ever fallen over because of it."
Very true!
"2 If Mr Mainstone really believes that the lampposts have corroded, shouldn't his department be checking the lampposts and if necessary be replacing them?"
Of course they should. However, that would require the council to actually do something useful.
"3 The Italians managed to hang Mussolini and his mistress from lampposts at the end of the last war, without them toppling over."
And I can think of a few amongst our beloved and illustrious politicians and their lackeys who ought to join them!
"It sounds like complete bullshit to me!"
That is exactly what it is, Ken!
The biggest problem I see of your third point is that seem to be inviting a fascist government to take over, since they managed to run things well enough for quite a number of years, even during a war, to avoid lamp-post-decay problems such as those cited by the modern day official, even before all the rust-stopping paints available at the corner hardware store were currently available...
ReplyDeleteMany considered them (Muss.i's gov) efficient, as far as bureaucracies go...
Others found their methods a bit too extreme (thus the public lamp decorations with the leaders of the movement...).
Local councils are full of complete bunts.
ReplyDeleteIf lamp posts are so fragile can someone explain why, when some horrible little scrote drove a stolen car at some speed into one of the lamp posts on the main road near me, did the lamp post remain upright and the car crumple like a tissue ?
ReplyDeleteSurely if these structures are so delicate, elf 'n' safety should be out banning lamp posts and replacing them with something far stronger, something like a stick of celery maybe ?
I don't have a tremendous love for councils but it's important to consider the other side of the story.
ReplyDeleteIt's most likely that all these anecdotes have the same simple explanation.
Litigation, lawyers, no-win no-fee, etc.
People who think it's perfectly legitimate to earn an income from suing their fellow citizens, and lawyers who encourage them to do so.
Until such times as that underlying problem is tackled, businesses and councils will continue to take ridiculous steps to reduce their legal exposure and we'll have to accept many more stories like this one, as well as bags of nuts with “Contains nuts” written on the outside.
Anon: what "other side" can this story possibly have, given that bunting would never cause a lamp post to topple?
ReplyDeleteThe only explanation is that some one simply wanted to ban the bunting, for some diseased reason of his own, and no notice whatever should have been taken of him.
Re Rod (Dipshit) Mainstone's points:
ReplyDelete1) This is bullshit, and he knows it. We have all seen lampposts with more than one sign attached.
2) If he is really so concerned why not specify a maximum breaking strain for the bunting? Actually I'm joking - can you imagine the amount of money and "non-jobs" this would require?
3) Round here the Council ran an experiment to give us free WiFi access, which involved small relay bases being fixed to street lights throughout the City. These required mains power, and all they did was drill a hole and push a plastic gland in. They were all taken down recently and no attempt has been made to seal or rustproof the holes. So if there is a risk of internal corrosion the council should have a programme of inspection in place to cover this possibility.
He's actually been very stupid to come out with this admission, as it could, no doubt, be used in court if someone was injured as a result of one collapsing. But as Kaptain_Von has noted they are actually very strong, and it would take a hell of a lot more than some plastic bunting to pull one down.
Jobsworth Twat.
Sambo: I'm not a no-win no-fee lawyer but if I were, I'd focus less on the falling lamppost and more on the actual bunting itself.
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me, bunting just oozes potential.
Have I missed something here - I thought that bunting with dogs was OK so long as you weren't chasing live foxes?
ReplyDeleteNo-win No-fee No-scruples lawyers in all forms are the scum of the earth. I would rather cuddle up to a worm with ebola.
The reason I have no sympathy for this council and all other spineless bodies in similar situations is that they are part of the establishment, part of the system that has willingly and eagerly started walking backwards away from COMMON SENSE.
It's a collective responsibility to stand up to nonsense like the importation of an "American" style "legal" system. The line is easy to see.
Yes, they might get sued. BUT, it's your responsibility, my responsibility, the council's and the collective establishment's responsibility to give such "legal" actions the respect they deserve.
Tw*t the B*astards, tw*t their poor excuses for "lawyers" and then tw*t their wives, husbands, kids and domestic pets until the notion that suing over stubbed toes is acceptable.
I wonder if magistrates and judges ought not to be armed and allowed - encouraged - to biologically demotivate scummy legal teams and their scummy clients summarily upon presentation of frivolous actions.
... 'Yes, the court accepts that you tripped over a pavement that was one inch out of alignment and tore your best white shell-suit. Yes, technically you have a case but, here in the real world, you're an idiot and too stupid to be allowed to live now that you have made yourself known. There will no follow a short recess while the bench beats you to a pulp with a cricket bat.' ...
Vive la bunting!
Apart from that, I have no strong opinions on the matter.
... until the notion that suing over stubbed toes is acceptable.
ReplyDelete... goes away.
Sorry, I was frothing at the orifice too much there to type properly!
I walked into a lamppost the other day, with bunting attached. I'm suing the council for putting up a lamppost on a pavement where pedestrians such as I endanger themselves and for the bunting because a stray flag hit me and caused, ooh, at least £5K's worth of compensation....
ReplyDeleteWas it on this site that I read some time ago about a proposal to clad lampposts because people were walking into them while busily texting? Susequently, I incredibly (or maybe not!) came across someone who worked for a charity who'd been involved in this.
Jay
"If lampposts are so fragile, how come every year the ones in my town and, presumably, most other towns and cities too, are festooned with election posters?"
ReplyDeleteBloody well said! In fact I've always held that one of the best ways to defeat petty minded beaureacracy is to use their own rules against them- in the recent European election I deliberately spoilt my ballot paper because I think the three main parties are all utter crap (and, note to anyone who votes for one of these 'parties that won't get in so tick them as a protest' that this is one of the ways the BNP gets enough votes to actually get even a whiff of political success so do as I do and spoil the whole thing instead, much safer). The point is I get sick of seeing these 'Vote X,Y,Z' posters everywhere at election time because the people that put them up are usually either old sticks-in-the-mud and vote for 'toffs conservative' or 'workers labour' through some misguided sense of class/ideological loyalty or they're put up by the parties themselves. Since lamposts are far, far too fragile to support these signs maybe I'll complain when I see one and have it removed, citing this precident by one of their own nanny councils as a valid reason. It isn't of course but Nanny wouldn't be a f**king hypocrite would she? Would she?
By the way W.S. Badfellow if you're frothing from an orifice you should see a doctor.
This blog's always funny and well-observed (as well as relevant, scary, and deserving of a much higher profile in the mainstream media IMO) but I have to say, you absolutely surpassed yourself with this sentence:
ReplyDelete"3 The Italians managed to hang Mussolini and his mistress from lampposts at the end of the last war, without them toppling over."
Simply sublime! ;)