Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Nanny Bans Sex

What the Fark!
I knew that eventually the day would dawn when Nanny would ban sex.

Lo and behold, that day has dawned!

How on earth can Nanny enforce an ASBO that bans you from making "excessive noise" (whatever that means) anywhere in England?

"A woman has been remanded in custody accused of breaching an Asbo banning her from being noisy during sex.

Neighbours complained of hearing Caroline Cartwright, 48, groaning and her bed banging against the wall at her home in Washington, Wearside.

Earlier this month she was given a four-year Asbo banning her from making excessive noise anywhere in England.

But she appeared in court on Monday, charged with three breaches of her Asbo in just 10 days.

She was remanded in custody until 5 May.

Cartwright was convicted of five breaches of a noise abatement notice on 17 April and fined £515.

But Houghton le Spring Magistrates' Court heard police arrested her on 18 April, on 22 April and again on 26 April, after reports from neighbours she was flouting the ban with her husband Steve.

Prosecutor Claire Ward said neighbours complained to police about early morning noises including shouting and groaning coming from the Cartwrights' home in Hall Road, Concord, Washington.

Cartwright elected to be tried by jury and the case will be transferred to Newcastle Crown Court at a later date
. "

Source BBC

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  1. microdave10:36 AM

    "Earlier this month she was given a four-year Asbo banning her from making excessive noise anywhere in England."

    On that basis most of the current breed of female tennis players would be locked up by now!

  2. I really don't get the postcode lottery approach to applying the law.

    In the article linked below a family have been told they can do NOTHING to stop their neighbours from disturbing them with noisy sex!

  3. Sir Henry Morgan12:08 PM

    You all don't understand do you - you will have sex (hereafter referred to as 'it') only with the woman you are legally married to. You will do it ONLY for the purpose of procreation. You will do it only during the hours of darkness, and in your own bedroom; and even then your curtains must be closed and your bedroom door locked. You will do it in bed with the blankets drawn up around you. You will be fully covered, exposing (out of sight under the blankets) only those parts necessary for it to occur. You will do it only with your eyes closed. And you must do it in perfect silence - even whispered terms of endearment are forbidden.

    And then you will each thrash the partners private parts with a riding crop as punishment for those parts having had a good time. Verboten.

    Do you ASBOstand?

  4. Anonymous12:14 PM

    I should be so lucky!!

  5. Lord of Atlantis12:27 PM

    It seems to me that this is a typical over-reaction to a relatively minor matter. Apart from the 'post-code lottery approach to law', as mentioned by EN, there are noises far worse which some people have to endure all day every day. For example, those unfortunate to live next to a motorway, or in the flight path of a major airport, to give two examples.

  6. What an agregious invasion of privacy! Probably 25 years ago, when I was living in Chicago, the couple in the apartment above me would go at it hammer and tongs on the weekends. What did I care?! And I certainly cant imagine going to the police about it!

  7. If the noise "offence" is "committed" using a stereo the court usually issues an order for the state to confiscate the equipment.

    I wonder what they'll do in this case?

    Maybe Nanny will just order the issue of a state chastity belt and gag instead... might be a whole new form of electronic tagging.

  8. This illustrates how crazy local councils are.
    My own council, a Conservative one, told me that noisy children playing will never, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANSES, no matter how loud or destructive they maybe, be treated as a nusiance, and yet another council will take action against two adults having sex....Ahhh there's the problem; They are adults. only children can do no wrong in our child focused socialist utopia.

  9. I believe we can file this one under the heading "Nanny Hates to See People Enjoying Themselves."

    microdave said:"On that basis most of the current breed of female tennis players would be locked up by now!"

    Precisely why I enjoy watching women's tennis . . . well, that and those little skirts.

  10. Anonymous3:05 PM

    The children! The children! Won't somebody please think of (the people making) the children?

  11. Anonymous6:22 AM

    Nowadays it is likely the children that are having the noisy sex.