Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, June 13, 2011

The Dangers of Folding Chairs

Oh dear, it seems that the party animals attending the Isle of Wight Festival have been banned by Nanny from doing one of the things that they love most.

No, not that!

I mean that Nanny has banned them from bringing folding chairs onto the site. Festival goers were told to leave their seats at the entrance to the site at Seaclose Park in Newport.

For why?

Health and Safety (and for a better customer experience)!

Sounds like a load of old bollocks to me.

Now here's the funny thing, festival goers have been banned from BRINGING folding chairs. However, according to reports, it seems that festival goers were still allowed to buy chairs within the festival site.

Funny that, isn't it?

Ker Farking Ching!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Mjolinir9:04 AM

    We 'must assume' that the organisers will take full responsibility for any 'chair related' accident of injury involving the product they recommended?

  2. I have thought for a long time now that 'elf'n'safety translates as "Shut up and do as you're told."

    I used to attend festivals in the 1960s and 1970s and I cannot for the life of me work out what threat a folding chair could pose.
    I therefore conclude Ken that you are correct; it is all about making a few extra bob for the organisers. I also noticed that the organisers declined to comment on their policy over the weekend......That suggests to me that they could neither defend their decision nor indeed justify it........Kerching!!!!!!!!!!

    Of course the festival goers could not argue because I suspect, the gate staff wore the symbol of authority; the hi-viz jacket.

    Still I am sure all the festival goers are looking forward to seeing that super group of the 1970s; The Wombles (sarcasm) I am sure that seeing such an iconic band would justify the huge ticket price at Glastonbury.(more sarcasm)

    Remember you're a womble!!!

  3. Lord of Atlantis11:51 AM

    My mother, who passed away a month or so before her 95th birthday, had a folding chair which she used to sit on in the garden, and I cannot recall her ever having a single accident. I suspect in this case you are correct, Ken and Tonk, elf'n'safety is being used as a means to extort yet more money out of those attending. As for their decision to decline to comment: again you are correct, Tonk, they would be defending the indefensible!

  4. Speenzman2:12 PM

    Job interview:

    "It says here you have a criminal conviction."


    "What was your crime?"

    "Chair smuggling."

  5. Anonymous7:29 PM

    Oddly enough this happened to me and a couple of friends at the overhyped and overpriced V festival a few years ago. We were told the same thing - health & safety reasons. Now, we decided not to back down on this one and asked for specifics if we were to give up our chairs. Of course, nobody at the gate could give us specifics - so we asked to speak to management. In the end, they just let us in with the chairs (result). However, they actually were selling the chairs in the arena.

    health & safety my arse.....