Nanny's Car Trackers

Courtesy of Euro Nanny, as from 2018, all new cars will have to be fitted with tracking devices that alert the emergency services in the event of an accident.

A serious crash will prompt an automatic call to the nearest emergency centre. Even if nobody in the vehicle is able to speak, the device will still relay the exact location, time, direction of travel, the scale of the impact and whether airbags have been deployed.

Suffice to say, aside from the "do good" aspects of this compulsory technology, there are other aspects. Specifically the fact that the movements of cars will be able to be tracked and monitored by both the state, private companies and hackers.

On the plus side, mobile phones can be tracked and used as listening devices anyway (so the state and others already know where you are, and what you are saying).

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Weather Forecasting

Given the state's lamentable inability to forecast the weather, despite large amounts of taxpayers' money being used, I commend the above device as major step forward in weather forecasting technology.

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Beware The Polar Plume!

Our illustrious weather forecasters are warning that a polar plume is about to descend upon Britain, plunging the country into a bout of freezing temperatures and wetness for the foreseeable future.

This is somewhat ironic, given that a few days ago the same forecasters were telling us that we would experience an Ibiza style heatwave this week, and that the outlook for the coming weeks was warm and settled.

I wonder if they get paid per variation of forecast (as opposed to being per per forecast)?

Global warming anyone?

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Exercise Is Pointless

As loyal readers know, Nanny has a bee in her bonnet about obesity and exercise; she is of the view that we are lazy bastards who need to exercise a lot more.

Well, blinkey blonkey blimey along comes three international experts who (in an editorial in the British Journal of Sports Medicine) blow a large hole in Nanny's obsession, by stating that physical activity has little role in tackling obesity.

The experts instead want Nanny to lecture us about our unhealthy eating (she does that anyway!).

Seemingly, if the experts are to be believed, activity is a key part of staving off diseases such as diabetes, heart disease and dementia. However, its impact on obesity is minimal.

Dr Aseem Malhotra is quoted by the BBC:

"An obese person does not need to do one iota of exercise to lose weight, they just need to eat less. My biggest concern is that the messaging that is coming to the public suggests you can eat what you like as long as you exercise. 

That is unscientific and wrong. You cannot outrun a bad diet."

In the bubble of academia in which experts live (outwith reality), this is reasoning is perfectly sound and valid. However, once transmitted to the real world, the message becomes confused and people end up not knowing what to do.

It is a matter of common sense that if you eat a balanced diet (with occasional lapses), and do sensible exercise (eg walking), then you will be healthier.

Nanny's shrill voice, and confused messages, simply confuse and annoy people.

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The Dangers of Solar Panels

On 20th April a large fire at Hove Town Hall erupted, apparently caused by an electrical fault in solar panels on the roof.

The blaze produced a large column of black smoke that rose over Brighton and Hove.

Ironically, despite the fact that all things green are deemed to be safe, there is an additional risk wrt solar panels. As per Solar Power Portal:

"Research commissioned by the DCLG and carried out by BRE on fire safety and solar electric/photovoltaic systems, identifies the major obstacle facing firefighters: “In contrast to the power used by conventional mains electrical equipment, the power that PV systems generate is DC (direct current) and parts of the system cannot be switched off. DC installations have a continuous current, making them more hazardous (volt for volt) than normal AC (alternating current) electrical installations.”  

The issue is that a household’s AC supply can easily be shut off by firefighters, however, the DC current supplied by the solar panels will also be generating as long as the sun is out. 

How a firefighter approaches a house fire in a property with solar installed
According to Kent Fire and Rescue Services

• Conduct a risk assessment to identify if any solar thermal (ST) of photovoltaic panels (PV) were or likely to be affected by fire
• Identify the system fitted (we would treat as PV if not clear)
• Isolate the main consumer unit
• Identify the location of inverter and isolation switches and isolate
• Inform personnel about the existence of the system in place and highlight the hazards present (electrical and risk of collapse)
• Any fires within the inverters would be extinguished with a dry powder extinguishing agent

Additional control measures would be applied when appropriate:

• Ladder contact with PV systems would be avoided
• A safety officer would monitor for signs of collapse
• A cordon would be established below panel arrays
• Avoid application of firefighting water directly on to the PV array
• Electrical rated gloves would be used for any contact with components of PV arrays and wiring
• Consider covering the PV panels to reduce the generation of DC power
• Seek specialist advice where necessary"  

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Brighton and Hove Council's Lack of Transparency

Here's a funny thing.

I attempted to tweet something to Brighton and Hove council today about the beachfront overspill of pebbles, which is a safety hazard and obstruction, and saw this when I tried to access their Twitter page:

"You are blocked from following @BrightonHoveCC and viewing @BrightonHoveCC's Tweets."

Nice to see the council believe in "transparency" and "communication"!

I wonder if I could ask my loyal readers a favour, please could you tweet to them asking why I am blocked?

Thanks.


UPDATE: Brighton council has now unblocked me, but can't recall why they blocked me in the first place.
 

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The Dangers of Over Pruning

My commiserations to Karen Gaynor of Rotherham, who fell foul of her local council and ended up spending six hours in a police cell, seven months on bail and had to stand trial.

Her crime?

Over pruning an overhanging conifer!

The Telegraph reports that Mrs Gaynor was detained, charged with criminal damage and spent seven months on bail after prosecutors decided she had cut the conifer back too much, in a boundary dispute with her neighbour.

Fortunately Rotherham Magistrates’ Court has some brains, and took just 15 minutes to clear her of the charges after instead deciding she had acted with good intentions.

Ms Gaynor said she had asked for council advice about how to prune back the tree, which reached into her garden, but an officer had refused to show her.

 

How bizarre!

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Auntie Is So Easily Duped

Nanny's state broadcaster, Auntie, has some very thorough rules and procedures wrt approving humour that can be broadcast.

However, when it comes to "news" and "fact" checking she has no procedures. As demonstrated by Auntie's World Service abysmal failure over fact checking, wrt an interview about Star Wars.

BBC producer Angela Sheeran approached Twitter user Godfrey Elfwick asking to interview him for a broadcast about Star Wars.

For why?

She was looking for people who claimed never to have seen any of the films. Step forward Elfwick who tweeted:

I've never actually seen #StarWars but the fact that the bad guy was all black and ate watermelons was unbelievably racist even for the 70's
— Godfrey Elfwick (@GodfreyElfwick) April 17, 2015

His Twitter describes him as a “demisexual genderqueer Muslim atheist”.

Undaunted Sheeran invited him to appear on the World Have Your Say programme, where he stated:

“From what I’ve seen of the old Star Wars films, there’s a lot of social problems with them rooted in homophobia, casual racial stereotypes.

The gold robot – C-25 or whatever he’s called – is a camp, neurotic coward. 

The only main female ends up in a space bikini chained to a horny space slug. 

The main bad guy – what’s he called, Dark Raider? – is black, he has a deep voice, he listens to rap music – it’s just a really bad racial stereotype.” 

Etc etc..

Sheeran has deleted her tweet inviting Elfwick on to the show.

How can anyone trust Auntie with reporting factual news items, after this?
 

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Nanny Bans Ginger

My thanks to a loyal reader who sent me a story about Emily Reay, a 17 year old who attends Trinity School Carlisle. She has been told that she cannot return to lessons, until she dyes her dyed red hair to a more 'natural' colour.


Now fair enough that the school has rules about uniforms and appearance etc. Many a schoolkid has had run ins over the decades over hair length, colour, uniform.

However, what makes this story niggle is that (if Emily and her mum are to be believed) Emily has sported that hair colour (and from pictures it is not garish or absurd) for the last three years.

Therefore is the school being a tad Nannyish here?

Opinions welcome.

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Auntie Has No sense of Humour

Nanny's aged and senile old chum Auntie has for many years displayed a distinct aversion to "cutting edge" humour, or indeed anything risque.

However, as Auntie is now cowed by single issue angry and easily offended people from all manner of religions races and walks of life, she has now taken her anti humour policy one step further.

Chris Sussman, an executive editor for comedy at the BBC, speaking recently at a Bafta event about free speech and television has disclosed the absurd procedures adhered to by Auntie, as executives fear causing a national scandal with an off-key joke.

Saying particular jokes have to go through “quite a lot of layers” to see the light of day, he said some had to be checked personally by the director of television and even Lord Hall himself.

All because Auntie is now extra-wary of causing offence in a post-Sachsgate and Twitter world.

He is quoted by the Telegraph:

"At the BBC, it’s been a difficult few years and I think that is reflected internally in terms of the processes and procedures we go through when we’re making programmes. 

Certainly since I’ve been there it’s been, I would say, a tougher environment than it has been for a while.

To get a certain joke on air, to get a joke approved, we have to go through quite a lot of layers. 

We have editorial policy advisors, we have legal advisors, we have to run jokes past the channel. In certain circumstances they’d have to run jokes past the director of television. I’ve been involved in a programme where it’s gone all the way up to the director-general.” 

It is a fundamental tenet of a free society that people should be allowed to cause offence, as to deny them that right would place society in the hands of single issue fanatics.

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Nanny Bans Running

Won't someone think of the children?

Nanny has banned kids from running the playground of Riverview Juniors in Cimba Wood, Gravesend, lest they injure themselves.

Interim co-head of the school Pam Wenban is quoted by the Telegraph:

"We have asked children to refrain from playing a particular chasing game in the playground as we have found the increasing numbers taking part has caused some injuries, including a fractured collarbone. 

We are concerned for the safety of the children and need to stop this particular game until we can establish a safer way for them to play. 

When the weather is dry and sunny children can run and play more safely on the school playing field."

You can no more "establish a safer way" for kids to play, than you can herd cats!

I take it rugby is not played at this school then?

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The Joy of Running - Brighton's Marathon

Yesterday was the Brighton Marathon, in which a gazillion people of all shapes, sizes and levels of fitness put their joints and hearts under severe stress as they ran, walked and limped their way round the city and its environs.

As the runners/walkers/limpers came to the end of their travails many were limping, tending blistered feet and trying to prevent hypothermia getting in by shrouding themselves in turkey foil.

Those health risks aside, I was gemused to see a few light up a much needed fag at the end of the run and draw down the cure all to their woes nicotine and smoke.

So remind me again, jogging etc is meant to be good for you right???

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Nanny's Pollution Hysteria

Nanny's hysteria over Saharan sand pollution has proven to be hysterical hype.
I am sitting on the south coast, both the weather and air quality are perfect!


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The Sexism of Names

As we endure another month of general Election "fever", spare a thought for the good people of America who are already being wound up for next November's presidential elections (the two parties have yet to select their candidates, so there is that to "enjoy" as well!).

Anyhoo, despite all of the issues facing the USA, it seems that some people are fretting about whether it is sexist or not to call Hillary Clinton:

- Hillary,
- Hillary Clinton, or
- Clinton

McClatchyDC has quite a decent article outlining the angst that some people have on the subject.

Here's why this angst is bollocks:

1 There are some very serious issues facing the USA (and the world), this nonsense is a waste of time/energy

2 Male politicians are also known/branded by their first name, eg Teddy Roosevelt and Boris Johnson

Have these people nothing better to worry about?

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Salt Is Good For You

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to an article from the Washington Post that notes that, contrary to the views of the single issue obsessives, low levels of salt intake may be dangerous:

"according to studies published in recent years by pillars of the medical community, the low levels of salt recommended by the government may actually be dangerous.

“There is no longer any valid basis for the current salt guidelines,” said Andrew Mente, a professor at McMaster University in Ontario, who was one of the researchers involved in a major study published last year by the New England Journal of Medicine. 

“So why are we still scaring people about salt?”

As I have noted many times before, healthy well hydrated people excrete excess salt via their kidneys and sweat.

Subject closed!

 

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Farking Pointless NHS Booze Tool

Nanny continues to be obsessed with our drinking habits.

Is it for our own good?

She would like us to think so, but the reality is that she wants an uberfit workforce to earn money to pay her taxes.

Factoid: Pub licensing laws were tightened up during the First World War so that munitions workers didn't turn up to work drunk, thus ensuring more munitions could be built to kill people.

Anyhoo, moving on to the present day and it seems that some research carried out by Opinium Research found that one in five young professionals in the UK consider themselves to have a drinking problem etc etc.

I am not quite sure whether the research company did this research by special request of a third party, or simply to generate headlines. However, Nanny has come up with a particularly pointless tool to tell you whether you are drinking "too much". Do bear in mind that Nanny operates on a principle of "one size fits all", and always opts for the lowest possible limit (just to be on the "safe" side). In reality, if you are drinking about the same as you doctor or MP then you are perfectly safe.

Those of you who wish to use Nanny's pointless tool can do so here:


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Nanny Hates Fags

Nanny's absurd rules, wrt small shops having to cover up fags from public display, have come into force today.

Already millions have given up smoking, on account of the fact that they no longer see the product....NOT!

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Happy Easter

Have it large this Easter folks!

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Hygiene

Be sure to get some tongue action in the bakery section. pic.twitter.com/VvzmIj5TDo

— Mark Sparrow (@MarkGSparrow) April 3, 2015

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Euro Nanny Bans Flag Burning

This is hilarious: man tries to burn EU flag - which won't burn due to EU fire safety rules http://t.co/JodEdX6HZs pic.twitter.com/DkTIKx5WPv

— Gergely Polner (@eurocrat) March 31, 2015

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DoD Does Irony

Loyal readers will recall that on occasions I have written about surveillance of phones, emails etc. My thanks to a Twitter chum of mine who gave me the the heads up about the following.

It seems that the USA's DoD is also concerened about such matters, and has therefore decided to issue its people with NSA proof phones (despite the fact the the FBI has called for encryption keys to be made available to law enforcement agencies- there's irony for you!).

As per the inquirer:

"THE US DEPARTMENT OF DEFENCE (DoD) has started rolling out Silent Circle's 'NSA-proof' Blackphone, despite FBI claims that encryption is a "huge problem" for law enforcement.

Silent Circle chairman Mike Janke revealed during an interview with NextGov that the company has been providing the DoD with a job lot of highly encrypted smartphones in a trial for soldiers and staff to use for work and play following a year of secret testing. 

The DoD was unable to confirm the move, but a spokeswoman for the Defence Information Systems Agency (DISA), which oversees the Pentagon’s mobility programme, said in a statement: "DISA's top priority when it comes to secure mobile technology is producing enterprise capabilities that the entire DoD, as well as other federal agencies, can leverage."

The news that the Pentagon has given the Blackphone its seal of approval will come as a surprise to many, as it did to Silent Circle it seems. 

"The wild thing about it is that we’re a Swiss firm," said Janke. "Our phones aren’t produced in the US, but because the [DoD] can test our phone in a lab - they can look at the code that’s open source - they’ve been testing it for a year now and using it."

The move is perhaps surprising given the FBI's recent moves to dodge smartphone encryption by urging communications providers to install backdoors so that criminal activity can be monitored and stopped."

That being said, the safest way to avoid state surveillance is to stick to good old fashioned word of mouth conversations (sans mobile phones and other bugs).


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Councils Are The Enemies of The People

The Manifesto Club has warned that the Anti-Social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act is creating "a patchwork" of laws, with discrepancies from town to town, eg it is a crime to have an open container of alcohol in Cambridge.

Josie Appleton, director of the campaign group, is quoted by the BBC saying that the powers were "so broad" they allowed councils to ban "pretty much anything".

"The result is a patchwork of criminal law where something is illegal in one town but not in the next, or in one street but not the next.

This makes it hard for the public to know what is criminal and what is not."

That is exactly the point, Nanny and her lackeys on the councils want us so afraid and demoralised that we never do anything without her express permission.

As I have noted before, councils are the enemies of the people!

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