Nanny May In Trouble - #MouldGate

NEW Theresa May's advice to eat mouldy jam could expose families to 'unseen toxins' says Food Standards Agency https://t.co/wv4pn2D310 via @Telegraph

— Christopher Hope (@christopherhope) February 13, 2019

Someone tell @theresa_may that she is wasting mould by scraping it off the jam. Here are some of the things she could do with it #JamGate #MouldGate

— Ken Frost (@ken_frost) February 13, 2019

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Raw Eggs Are Now Safe!

Those of you with long memories may well recall the furore in the 1980's over the risk of salmonella poisoning from eggs.

Ever since then, Nanny has frowned upon us eating runny eggs.

Now relief is at hand, Nanny's Food Standards Agency has now declared that runny eggs are safe:

"The Food Standards Agency has today announced a change to its advice about eating eggs - infants, children, pregnant women and elderly people can now safely eat raw or lightly cooked eggs that are produced under the British Lion Code of Practice.

The revised advice, based on the latest scientific evidence, means that people vulnerable to infection or who are likely to suffer serious symptoms from food poisoning (such as infants, children, pregnant women and  elderly people) can now safely eat raw or lightly cooked hen eggs or foods containing them.

We had previously advised that vulnerable groups should not consume raw or lightly cooked eggs, because eggs may contain salmonella bacteria which can cause serious illness."

I have to say I have been steadfastly ignoring Nanny's egg advice since the 1980's, and have never suffered from a dicky stomach as a result of eating runny yolks!

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Bags For Life Become Bags For Death

In a hugely amusing piece of irony, Nanny has got her knickers in a twist over her environmentally friendly bags for life.

It seems that reusable “bags for life” can spread deadly food poisoning bacteria if they are used to carry raw foods such as fish and meat.

Nanny's Food Standards Agency (FSA) is recommending that shoppers use separate bags to carry raw foods, ready-to eat foods and non-food items such as household cleaners and washing powder.

Aha!

That will give the supermarkets a nice little earner!

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Nanny's Chip Inspector

The other day Nanny's chums from the Food Standards Agency (FSA) stated that crispy roast potatoes and browned toast (starchy foods that are roasted/toasted form acrylamide) cause cancer.

All very well and tedious, except for the fact that there is no proof that there is a link to cancer.

Anyhoo, undeterred by lack of scientific evidence and a general drubbing by all and sundry that the advice is bollocks, Nanny is now gearing up to enforce a "no burn" rule in pubs, cafes and restaurants.

The Telegraph reports that under a new European Union food hygiene directive, due to be adopted in the UK by the the end of 2017 (ermm aren't we leaving?), pubs and restaurants will be told to take reasonable steps to reduce acrylamide in food or face enforcement measures.

It means those eateries continuing to serve "high acrylamide" foods, such as brown roast potatoes or burned Yorkshire puddings, could be visited by the Food Standards Agency's enforcement officers and face hefty fines.Restaurants will be offered a guide full of tips on how to reduce acrylamide in food which will also be used by the FSA's enforcement team to gauge whether levels are unacceptably high.

The guide will include colour charts designed to be kept in kitchens to show chefs which shades of yellow and brown are safe for cooked chips and potatoes to match.

It will also advise chefs to buy types of potatoes which are low in starch and blanch chips and potatoes before frying or roasting, and cooking them at a lower heat and for less time.

Were this 1 April I would have assumed that this was a joke, but it isn't!!

Well I don't know about anyone else, but if I want dark brown tatties etc in a restaurant I will order and eat them, and if I don't I won't. I don't need Nanny stepping in to help me order food when eating out!

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Nanny To Steam All Chickens

Oh dear I sere that because some people are clueless about how to handle and cook chicken safely, and have given themselves food poisoning, Nanny's chums from the supermarkets are considering freezing or steaming all chickens that they sell.

This of course buggers up the texture, looks and flavour of the chicken.

This hysteria is as a result of a recent report by the Food Standards Agency (FSA), that noted that 18% of birds in supermarkets contained dangerously high levels of campylobacter.

So what?

Those who handle and cook their birds properly will not be poisoned by this.

Why should the actions of the incompetent penalise the competent?

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Nanny Unbans Cakes

On Tuesday I wrote that Nanny had banned a mother and daughter from selling homemade cakes at the daughter's school, because of health and safety concerns.

It seems that this story and other similar ones have prompted the Food Standards Authority (FSA) to engage its brain and apply some commonsense. My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to the  FSA statement that volunteer cooks and charity groups, who occasionally prepare food for community events, are not covered by EU laws that have been invoked to ban people from preparing food on an occasional basis for others to consume.

This means that occasional cooks are no longer need to possess a food hygiene certificate before they are allowed to offer their wares for sale.

As per the Mail:

"There is no rule banning the sale of homemade cakes at school fêtes or other community events."

Nice to see the FSA using some commonsense!


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Nibble Nanny's Nuts

I was hugely gemused to read over the weekend that Nanny had exceeded herself wrt her own stupidity and blind subservience to rules and regulations.

Step forward the Food Standards Agency (FSA), which ordered Booths (a supermarket chain) to withdraw its own brand of Whole Hearted Roasted Monkey Nuts from its shelves.

For why?

The bags did not warn that the contents may contain nuts!

Well, OK, to be specific the bags didn't warn that they may contain peanuts; thus posing a risk to those with a peanut allergy.

That's all very well, except that "monkey nuts" is the term used to describe peanuts that have the shell/pod still intact!

In other words the bags did specifically tell people that they contained peanuts!

FFS!

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Nanny Bans Burgers

I have to say I was gobsmacked when I read about Nanny's latest scheme to deprive us of freedom of choice.

This time Nanny's chums from Westminster council (a Tory council) have decreed that we are not to be allowed to order rare or medium rare burgers, lest we become ill from them.
 
The Evening Standard reports that after routine inspections by environmental health officers, Westminster council challenged the way Davy’s was serving its £13.95 burgers at one of its restaurants in central London. Davy’s has taken the case to the High Court, which experts say could set a legal precedent as to whether or not diners will be able to order meat rare.

A Davy’s spokesman said:

“The burgers are produced from high quality ingredients and Davy’s contends that it has safe measures in place to serve rare or medium-rare burgers.”

James Armitage, the council’s food health and safety manager, said:

“This is about making sure customers are eating meat that is not a threat to their health. It is possible to produce burgers that can be eaten undercooked, but strict controls are essential.

We have enlisted the UK’s top expert on E. coli, Prof Hugh Pennington, to get this matter resolved and he has outlined that rare minced meat that is not correctly cooked and prepared can kill.”

"Ironically" the Food Standards Agency (FSA) has stated that there are no rules banning the sale of raw or rare meat by restaurants or caterers.

Tony Lewis, of the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, said: the case would have “nationwide implications”.

This ban is of course bollocks, and is another example of a local council exceeding their remit and imposing their prejudices on all and sundry.

Having banned rare burgers, the next step is to ban steak tartare.

I have eaten steak tartare many times (excellent with Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce and a raw egg..raw eggs are also frowned upon by Nanny!), and have yet to become remotely ill from it.

This is a typical council overreaction.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny's FSA Covers Itself in Glory

F*cking Useless FSA!

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Nanny Wants Thicker Chips

Well now, here is a Nanny scheme that in theory I could almost buy into.

Nanny's chumps (sorry, chums) in the Food Standards Agency (FSA) are concerned that thin chips absorb more fat than thick chips.

As such they are campaigning for chunkier chips to be produced.

In theory this is an excellent idea, the thin reconstituted "potato type" reheated shite (aka "fries"), offered by certain fast food chains and "restaurants", are an abomination and have zero taste/sensuality in the mouth.

Factoid: contrary to what some would have you believe frying chips in dripping or lard is better for you, because vegetable oils contains trans fats.

I am all for a return to the more traditional thick cut chip, as served by our traditional chippie.

However, as with all of Nanny's schemes, there is a fly in her oinkment.

Can you guess where the FSA intends to start rolling out her "thick cut chip" scheme?

Yes, that's right, chip shops!

The FSA will run pilot schemes in Cambridgeshire, Greater Manchester and Northern Ireland. Officials will visit 80 chip shops to examine how much fat is in their chips and offer advice.

Message to Nanny, chip shops already serve thick cut chips and cook them fresh (ie they are not injected with fat and then reheated).

Nanny should be visiting those outlets that serve "fries" not chips.

A remarkable waste of time and money.

Oh, and by the way, I have never forgiven the EU for banning newspaper as a means of wrapping my chips!

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The Dangers of Popcorn

As you munch your way through your three metric tonnes bucket of popcorn and guzzle the gallon container of fizzy sugared water at you local cinema, fear not for your health and girth anymore.

Nanny's Food Standard's Agency (FSA) recognises that you are a moron, and that you need to be told that eating such vast quantities of shite is bad for you. As such the FSA is calling for the calorific value of these products to be clearly displayed, and for a ban on "super size" portions.

Does it not occur to the FSA that people are well aware that gorging on vast quantities of shite, such as this, will inevitably lead to some form of weight gain?

Interference by the FSA will not make the slightest difference to people's habits in their local cinemas.

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The System

Listening to our "walking dead" Prime Minister the other day, prattling on about how "the system" (wrt MPs' expenses) was at fault for the claims for floating duck islands, fake mortgages, moats etc I was struck by how what the PM said exemplifies the very heart of the problem of the Nanny state.

The PM ignored the fundamental issue, it is not the system that is at fault but the people. It was not compulsory for our MPs to claim for duck islands and moats, they did so voluntarily and with gusto!

The PM and these greedy MPs are using the "procedures" argument as a defence, in exactly the same manner that a doctor, social worker, police officer, teacher, FSA CEO or council officer uses "rules and procedures" to justify what they do and to justify their mistakes.

How many times have we heard the phrase "we followed the procedures"?

That is meaningless if the end result is failure/death, or a cold hearted application of a petty rule.

Nanny's rules and procedures proactively encourage people to stop thinking for themselves and taking personal self responsibility for their own actions/mistakes.

The PM so eloquently highlighted (unintentionally) the very weakness at the heart of the Nanny state; namely, no one needs to ever take personal responsibility anymore, so long as they follow procedures.

Without personal responsibility, individuality, risk taking and thinking outside of the box we are most assuredly set on the path to our own self destruction; as we drown in bureaucracy and petty rules, all of which have been designed to suffocate initiative and growth.

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The "Light" Touch

Nanny, in the shape of Gordon "Smiler" Brown and his chum Darling, has been loudly harrumphing recently about the banking crisis and how the banks have behaved disgracefully. Nanny has been particularly vocal recently about bonuses (ie rewarding failure), and Sir Fred "The Shred" Goodwin's pension of £650K per annum.

Needless to say Nanny is so cross that she has demanded that Sir Fred stop drawing on it (or face "legal" action), that the banks restrain their bonuses and is threatening a tougher regulatory regime.

Now, in the midst of all of this political spin (so willingly regurgitated by the ever so compliant and malleable media) designed to tap into people's latent disgust over the size of some bankers' pay packets, and the destruction of value by some of Britain's "leading" banks, lies a little problem for Nanny.

Can you guess what that is children?

Yes, that's right, she was in charge of the system during the years of boom:

1 Brown set up the tripartite regulatory system, which has proven to be such a failure.

2 Mervyn King (Governor of the Bank of England) and Hector Sants (CEO of the FSA) have both stated that Nanny insisted on a "light regulatory touch" during the boom years.

3 Sir Fred has stated that his pension was approved by the government, in the shape of Lord Myners.

4 Were Nanny to completely nationalise the "naughty" banks, as her media dogs and political midgets who support her are urging her to do, shares in every other bank in the UK would fall to zero, as people realised that their bank would be next. The result being the complete collapse of the capitalist banking system in this country.

5 Nanny allowed 100% mortgages in the boom years, now she wants them banned. Ironically, Northern Rock (now owned by us) has now been given Treasury approval for 90% mortgages. Isn't 90% almost as bad as 100% in a falling market?

Bottom line, the banking system needs to be saved (the people who destroyed value can be shot after it is saved) and Nanny knows this full well.

Why is she so vocal in her harrumphing then?

Why doesn't she speak more honestly about why the system needs to be saved?

The answer is simple, she is every bit as culpable as the bankers for this crisis; as it happened on her watch, as a result of her "light" touch and her tripartite system.

By the way, isn't it strange that at the very moment Mervyn King and Hector Sants publicly start having a go at Brown and his tripartite system, the details of Sir Fred's pension pot (agreed by Myners in October 2008) are leaked to the press via Peston?

Isn't it odd that Sir Fred's pension is making the lead in the media, such an easy story because it involves a hated banker, instead of the failure of Brown's tripartite system?

It seems to me that Nanny is trying to divert our attention again.

FYI, if you want to read my daily thoughts on finance and issues relating to this crisis pop over to www.loanbuster.net.

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Nanny Bans Casinos

Three cheers for Nanny's ever vigilant and proactive Advertising Standards Authority (ASA).

Always keen to ensure that adverts are legal, decent, honest, non offensive etc they have decided to ban some of Ladbroke's adverts for their online casino.

One of the adverts features a skydiver trying to use a crisp packet as a parachute (implying that his thirst for risk could have been quenched at Ladbrokes).

Anyhoo, this advert was far too much for the people at ASA.

For why?

One person complained and the advert was banned because it:

"portrayed gambling in a context of toughness and linked it to excessive risk-taking and reckless behaviour".

Errmm...isn't that what gambling basically is, the thrill and risk of possibly winning/losing?

Where were the ASA during the endowment mortgage binge of the 1980's, or the credit binge of the last decade (where financial institutions duped some people into losing their houses and tied them into debt for decades)?

FYI, if you mention those episodes to the ASA they tell you that the responsibility rests with Nanny's other toothless and passive organisation the Financial Services Authority (FSA).

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The Joy of Lard

Nanny's chums in the Food Standards Agency (FSA) are becoming increasingly concerned about our level of fatness, and our eating habits, no change there then!

As such they are going to launch a drive against fat, rumour has it that the FSA are considering warning us about the dangers of cheese sandwiches and buttered toast.

The FSA commissioned consumer research which showed that shock tactics, such as graphic images of furred blood vessels and fat deposits, were the best way to change people's diet.

It seems that this time next year we will have endure yet another one of Nanny's remorseless campaigns warning us about the dangers of our everyday, simple pleasures.

The FSA is rumoured to be considering testing messages that show that ordinary foods (eg meat, dairy, snacks and confectionery) are far higher in saturated fats than people realise.

It seems that they are considering using the same form of warning that is printed on fag packets...and we all know how "effective" they have been!

Nanny and the FSA need to remember that, unlike smoking, we really all do have to eat food everyday. You cannot, and should not, criminalise food and eating!

The warnings will include one informing consumers that two slices of buttered toast contain more saturated fat than four doughnuts, and that one cheese sandwich contains more than half the daily amount of saturated fat.

CMI Research, who prepared the report for the FSA, said:

"Shock tactics show potential.

The researchers said that graphic images of fat had a big impact on consumers they spoke to.

Dramatising the amount of saturated fat in foods in an unexpected and unappetising way proved effective, as almost all were repulsed by the idea of eating lard."

Hang on lads, I am not repulsed by eating lard (beef dripping)!

I like it!

The FSA should remember that the body is like a car engine, just as the engine needs oil to lubricate its moving parts, so does the blood in the body need fat to enable it to travel smoothly between the organs.

We would simply seize up without fat.

Here is a perfect recipe for lard (dripping):

Ingredients

-1 slice of thick cut white bread

-Dripping

-Salt and pepper

Method

-Toast the bread

-Spread a liberal portion of dripping (at least 1 cm thick) onto the toast

-Season copiously with salt and pepper

Enjoy!

Needless to say, the FSA has denied it is considering warnings on packaging. However, it then went on to say that it still had a wide range of consultations to make before deciding how best to convey its message. In other words, they do want to use warning messages and if the public reaction is muted we will get them.

I suggest that you purchase one of these fine T shirts or thongs from The Joy of Lard, just to show Nanny what you think of her plans.



Any profits made will be used to add to my collection of lard and dripping.

The Evils of Food

Nanny is getting her knickers into a twist again over food. Specifically adverts for food that Nanny believes to be evil, eg chocolate bars, crisps and fizzy drinks.

Nanny's chums in the Food Standards Agency (FSA) think that these "evil" foods should be treated like sex, ie we shouldn't have any and that they should be banned from television before 9pm.

The FSA is pressing for a pre-watershed ban on all junk food commercials to improve children's health.

Nanny thinks that junk food adverts are a major contributor to the alleged epidemic of childhood obesity.

Er is it not up to parents to regulate their childrens' diets, and to make sure they get enough exercise?

I wonder how Nanny will define junk food?

Too much fat and salt maybe?

Does that mean adverts for cheese, butter, milk and salt will be banned?

To repeat, it is up to parents to control their childrens' diets not the state!

The Enormous Omelette

Sometimes I read a story that warms to cockles of my heart, can I say cockles?

Whereby a person or group puts up a fight, and resists Nanny's attempts at behaviour modification.

My compliments therefore to the good people at Burger King, Britain's second-biggest fast food chain.

They have decided to stick two fingers up at Nanny by snubbing Nanny's attempts to reduce levels of salt, fat and sugar in food to make it healthier.

Burger King have pulled out of a joint initiative, between the food industry and the Food Standards Agency (FSA), to reformulate fast foods to make them less unhealthy.

Burger King intend to concentrate on making its burgers and other products as "tasty" as it can.

Bloody good show!

This means that they will stop cutting salt, fat and sugar. Indeed they are in fact moving on to the offensive; by considering selling the "Enormous Omelette Sandwich".

This splendidly robust product was recently launched in America. It contains a stonking 740 calories and 4.9 grams of salt; and comprises two slices of cheese, two eggs, three strips of bacon and a sausage patty on a bun.

Now that's an omelette!

This decision, needless to say, will cause Nanny a few headaches as it threatens the consensus between the food industry, the FSA and the Department of Health.

Needless to say, by opting for taste, rather than Nanny's puritanical bland blend, Burger King are likely to find their omelettes selling like...erm..er.."hot cakes" (which of course Nanny doesn't approve of either!).

Nanny and her chums will doubtless argue that it is disgraceful that such a product is put before the British public.

My view is simple, if I choose to gorge like a pig and balloon to 20 stone in weight, then it is my own stupid fault.

Nanny's Strange Priorities

Nanny is rather a strange old lady, isn't she?

Some things, which are trivial to normal folk, really get her dander up; yet others, which you would consider to be important, don't seem to excise her as much as they should do.

One such case in point is her interpretation of the new European hygiene laws, in relation to abbatoirs.

Nanny's chums in the ever watchful Food Standards Agency (FSA), those fine people who gave us the Sudan scare a wee while ago, are making sure that they zealously interpret every letter of this new law.

It is claimed by the Forum of Private Business that more than a third of abattoirs may face closure, because of the actions of the FSA.

The Forum say that some of the abattoirs are being expected to install better hygiene equipment than hospitals.

Given the MRSA issue this seems a tad odd, don't you think?

The Forum are so worried about the situation, that a group of its members will travel to Brussels to find out for themselves how the new standards should actually be interpreted.

Nanny really ought to get her priorities sorted out.

Sid The Slug

Our "Nanny State", not content with lecturing us about our drinking, smoking and fat intake have now taken to lecturing us on our salt intake.

The Food Standards Agency (FSA) has just launched a campaign featuring a rather slimy individual (how appropriate), called Sid the Slug.

Sid is appearing on billboards and TV ads around the UK, telling us that we eat far too much salt; and that we must cut down on it.

The main problem with this campaign is that the "evidence" for the damage, that our current level of salt intake does to us, is regarded by some as dubious to say the least.

Another problem that the current campaign has already encountered, is that people find it hard to accept that a green slimy fat slug has a better "handle" on keeping fit and healthy than the average human being.

One final point, MP's are not exactly paragons of virtue when it comes to their eating habits; maybe they should take their own medicine first, before lecturing us on what seasoning we should put on our food.