Burger Off!

The Independent reports that a new study from US-based food testing company Clear Labs has discovered, from a sample of 258 burgers, two cases of meat in vegetarian products, three burgers with rat DNA and one case of human DNA.

Additionally almost a quarter of vegetarian burgers have different ingredients to those on the label. Two veggie burgers contained beef, and one black bean burger contained no black beans.

It never ceases to gemuse me that despite all of Nanny's rules, regulations and monitoring such cock ups still occur. This only goes to prove that you cannot zeroise risk, no matter how officious Nanny becomes.

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Burger Off!

I am gemused to see that the Hungry Horse pub chain, that runs the Rose & Crown in Bexhill-On-Sea, has launched a new burger that comes in at a stonking 1966 calories.

The Double Donut Burger (I thought doughnut was spelt thusly?) consists of two beef burgers, melted cheese, four smoked streaky bacon rashers and BBQ sauce served in two grilled, glazed ring doughnuts.

Quite why anyone would want to eat such an abomination is beyond me, but this is a free country (allegedly).

Anyhoo, cue the outrage of Mel Wakeman, senior lecturer in applied physiology at Birmingham City University, who feels it's an absolute disgrace that such a burger be sold.

He is quoted by The Argus:

"Hungry Horse obviously have no conscience and no doubt both their wallet and the size of their customers will be getting fatter by the week. 

To me, this is simply ludicrous and irresponsible. I am no killjoy but why is this sort of food available? This burger is literally a heart attack on a plate. 

Why can’t they include on the menu what the customer would need to do to burn all those calories off? In the case of this Double Donut Burger, around three hours of continuous running should just about do it. I wonder how many people would still opt for the item knowing this.” 

Well, as noted, I wouldn't eat it. However, unless I have misunderstood the catering arrangement at the Rose & Crown, no one is being forced to eat it.

I would also note that one burger (even a 1966 calorie burger) does not make a heart attack (unless you are already very unfit or the burger lodges in your throat). You would have to eat a few of these before you pegged put.

Nevertheless, Mr Wakeman has fallen into the Mary Whitehouse trap of those who are "outraged" over something by giving the product and pub some excellent free publicity.

Well done!

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Nut Free Veggie Burger

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The Danger of Burgers

I kid you not, Nicola Peate had to have her jaw put back into place by medics after it dislocated while she was attempting to get her teeth around a "triple-patty" burger at a Liverpool restaurant.

Have we forgotten how to use cutlery, and only insert into our mouth a portion of food that actually fits that particular orifice?


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Burger Me!

I am hugely gemused to read that, despite Nanny's hysterical campaign against all forms of fast food, it seems that the most "evil" of products a McDonald may in fact be rather good for you in the sense that it is the cheapest most "bountiful" food in human history.

Stephen Dubner, who co-authored "Freakonomics", hosted a debate on his blog after a reader suggested the McDouble packed a better nutritional punch for the penny than is often assumed.

The Telegraph reports that the double cheeseburger provides 390 calories, 23 grams of protein (half a daily serving), seven per cent of daily fibre, 19 grams of fat and 20 per cent of daily calcium, all for between $1 and $2.

Kyle Smith, a New York Post columnist, said:

“Facts are facts – where else but McDonald’s can poor people obtain so many calories per dollar?”

Mr Dubner added:

“The more I thought about the question, whether the McDouble is the cheapest, most bountiful, and nutritious food ever, the more I realised how you answer that question says a lot about how you see the world, not only our food system and the economics of it, but even social justice.” 

In other words, fast food feeds people cheaply. As ever with any food or drink, so long as you don't overdo it, it will not kill you.

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Nanny Bans Burgers

I have to say I was gobsmacked when I read about Nanny's latest scheme to deprive us of freedom of choice.

This time Nanny's chums from Westminster council (a Tory council) have decreed that we are not to be allowed to order rare or medium rare burgers, lest we become ill from them.
 
The Evening Standard reports that after routine inspections by environmental health officers, Westminster council challenged the way Davy’s was serving its £13.95 burgers at one of its restaurants in central London. Davy’s has taken the case to the High Court, which experts say could set a legal precedent as to whether or not diners will be able to order meat rare.

A Davy’s spokesman said:

“The burgers are produced from high quality ingredients and Davy’s contends that it has safe measures in place to serve rare or medium-rare burgers.”

James Armitage, the council’s food health and safety manager, said:

“This is about making sure customers are eating meat that is not a threat to their health. It is possible to produce burgers that can be eaten undercooked, but strict controls are essential.

We have enlisted the UK’s top expert on E. coli, Prof Hugh Pennington, to get this matter resolved and he has outlined that rare minced meat that is not correctly cooked and prepared can kill.”

"Ironically" the Food Standards Agency (FSA) has stated that there are no rules banning the sale of raw or rare meat by restaurants or caterers.

Tony Lewis, of the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, said: the case would have “nationwide implications”.

This ban is of course bollocks, and is another example of a local council exceeding their remit and imposing their prejudices on all and sundry.

Having banned rare burgers, the next step is to ban steak tartare.

I have eaten steak tartare many times (excellent with Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce and a raw egg..raw eggs are also frowned upon by Nanny!), and have yet to become remotely ill from it.

This is a typical council overreaction.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Nanny Declares War on Eggs Again!

Loyal readers with eidetic memories may recall that, in February 2009, I wrote the following about eggs:

"It seems that Nanny's anti egg campaigns of the past, in which she warned us of the alleged dangers of the cholesterol content of eggs, were a load of bollocks.

A paper prepared by the British Nutrition Foundation states that the cholesterol in eggs has only a small, and clinically insignificant, effect on blood cholesterol."

One would have thought that this would have finally laid to rest Nanny's misguided obsession about eggs being bad for us!

Sadly "one" would be wrong.

Nanny is an obsessive creature and, if facts stand in her way, she simply finds a way to manufacture "facts" to suit her obsession.

Step forward Dr David Spence Professor of Neurology and Clinical Pharmacology at Robarts Research Institute University of Western Ontario, he is also affiliated with the London Health Sciences Centre’s University Hospital (where he has set up and runs stroke prevention clinics).

According to the Huffington Post Dr Spence claims that the cholesterol found in egg yolks is almost as dangerous as smoking.

Dr. David Spence goes on to say that:

"It's more than the cholesterol in a Hardee's monster thick burger which is two-thirds of a pound of beef, three slices of cheese and four slices of bacon." 

I have never consumed a Hardee's Monster Thick Burger (I am sure they are excellent), but I find that claim to be a tad high on the "Bollocks Scale of Exaggeration".

He then went to to accuse the eggs industry of being like the tobacco industry.

Of course, in order to really damage an industry Nanny just loves to mention smoking!

In view of the research that I reported on in 2009, and the fact that humans have been happily eating eggs for millennia I am inclined to think that eggs are fine.

However, if you need further reassurance I refer you to the "infamous" paper that Dr Spence produced in 2005 on the effectiveness of homeopathy.

According to DC's Improbable Science:

"Dr Spence’s paper was published in the Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine. It is not really research at all. They simply asked 6544 patients who had had homeopathic treatment whether they felt better or not. Half the patients (50.7%) said they were ‘better’ to ‘much better’. A further 20% said they were ‘slightly better’. 

The patients who had homeopathic treatment were not compared with anything whatsoever!

This is reported in a straightforward way. What is quite ludicrous is the stated conclusion of the paper:

“The study results show that homeopathic treatment is a valuable intervention”.

It is obvious that there is not the slightest reason to attribute the answers given by patients to the fact that they had been given homeopathic treatment. That would be the crudest form of post hoc ergo propter hoc error. It does not even show that the homeopathic treatment was producing a placebo effect.

Papers like this do not add to human knowledge, they detract from it. By reverting to pre-enlightment forms of argument, they mislead rather than enlighten. To make matters worse, this work was done at public expense, by the Directorate of Homeopathic Medicine, United Bristol Healthcare, National Health Service Trust, Bristol, United Kingdom."

As said, eggs are perfectly safe; ignore the nonsense spouted by those with unhealthy obsessions!

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Nanny Hates Fast Food - KFC Is Good For You

In the event that this article in the Mail is true, then it appears that hospital food contains more salt and fat that Nanny's much hated fast food

"A Big Mac burger is healthier than three quarters of hospital meals, a study has revealed. 

The survey, carried out by the campaign group Sustain, found that 75 per cent of NHS food contained more saturated fat that McDonald's signature burger, while 60 per cent had more salt. 

 In one case, a curry contained six times more fat that a KFC zinger burger with fries and on another occasion a pasta dish was found to have more than three times a person's daily recommended saturated fat intake and twice their salt limit."

Does this mean, given what I wrote yesterday, that Nanny will be banning people from eating in hospitals?

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Nanny Hates Fast Food

As loyal readers are all too aware, Nanny really hates fast food.

Partly it's because it contains the ingredients that she has a bee in  her bonnet about; eg salt, sugar, fat, starch, trans fats etc etc.

You know, the sort of ingredients that to a greater or lesser extent are found in all foods!

That aside, the other issue that really "grinds Nanny's gears" is the fact that (in her view) a large amount of fast food is eaten by "the lower orders" (a part of society that Nanny rather despises and is, in her view, not capable of looking after itself).

Therefore, not content with the pasty tax (the House of Commons, rather ironically, serves taxpayer subsidised "unhealthy" pasties), Nanny has come with another wheeze designed to stamp out the "curse" of fast food in poorer areas.

Her solution?

She intends to bans fast food shops from operating in certain areas, and to ban them from being situated near to public (ie state) buildings!

Step forward Haringey Council, which is set to become the first in the UK to limit the number of pizza, burger and kebab shops on its streets in an attempt to improve the health of its poorest residents.

A draft scheme is in place for the restrictions which would see planning applications for venues considered alongside the need to keep the number of takeaways strictly limited. New outlets could also be banned from within 400 metres of schools, youth clubs and parks.

Tam Fry, of the National Obesity Forum and chair of the Child Growth Foundation (doubtless these quangos are all paid for by the taxpayer!) is of the view that fast food should be banned from anywhere around public buildings and particularly where children are involved (won't someone think of the children!!).

It is not the state's role to stop us eating what we want!

Those who choose to kill themselves by eating crap everyday, have the right to make that choice. Whilst those who are fit and healthy, who choose to indulge once in a while should not be restricted from that indulgence.


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Nanny Burns Fat People

Oh dear, Nanny seems to be having one of her "schizophrenic" moments.

Yesterday I reported that Nanny's chums in Liverpool were worried about the negative connotations of the word "obese", and were considering banning it.

However, Nanny's chums in Barnsley NHS have an entirely different "take" on obesity. They have taken it upon themselves to design and build a 40ft effigy of a fat boy eating a pile of burgers, pizzas and cakes.

Can you guess what they intend to do with it?

Yes, that's right, they intend to set fire to it during the Mayor's summer parade!

Errmm...so let me see, the message that Nanny is sending to fat children is that if you don't lose weight she will set fire to you.

Hmmmm, "interesting".

The Nazis started by burning books....

Maybe Nanny's ultimate plan is to use fat people as fuel?

Oh, and by the way, the taxpayers have funded the design and building of this fat sculpture.

All in all it sounds a pretty shitty idea to me.

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Eat Yourselves To Health

ROFLOL!!

I am hugely amused to read that Nanny's advice regarding what constitutes a "healthy" calorie intake for adults (2000 for women, and 2500 for men) turns out to be bollocks.

It seems my loyal readers that the Scientific Advisory Committee on Nutrition (SACN) is of the view that the guidelines could be increased by 16% (that's a whole cheeseburger!).

That means that, if we have followed Nanny's rules, we have been under eating for all of our adult lives. Therefore multiply the number of days you have been an adult by the calorie shortfall from Nanny's new target, and treat yourself to a slap up feast to mop up the shortfall in calories!

I will start right away!

Needless to say the Government and the Food Standards Agency view this research as "unhelpful". Funny that research that doesn't, and indeed scientists who don't, conform to Nanny's orthodoxy are expunged and "rubbished" by the state.

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Food Fascists Ban Greasy Spoons

Nanny's food fascists have donned their jackboots, and are on the march again.

Nanny's environmental health officers in Guildford will inspect the menus of snack vans (parked in lay bys) during routine hygiene checks, they will be looking for fatty food.

Since when was it the role of the environmental health officer to inspect menus for fat content?

Seemingly Nanny wants the vans to limit the amount of mayonnaise served and offer "healthy" foods.

Those traders who do not comply with Nanny's diktat will have their licences revoked.

I was under the naive impression that in this country we had a modest degree of freedom that entitled us to eat what we wanted, when we wanted and where we wanted.

What the fark has it got to do with Nanny if we choose to have a dollop of mayo on our burger and fries?

Councillors at Guildford Borough Council disagree, and insist that every menu has to have at least one healthy option.

The list of recommended food includes low fat grilled sausage with wholemeal bread, chilli con carne with lean mince and jacket potato with a selection of fillings.

We live in a free market economy it is up to the consumer to dictate what is offered by service providers, not Nanny.

Needless to say, Guildford is in fact a Tory borough.

The Tory party just doesn't seem to be able to grasp the point that people don't want state interference in their lives, and seems to be intent on becoming a clone of Nu Labour.

Well folks, you know the procedure, drop Cameron a line and remind him that he will lose the next election at this rate.

Use this link: Cameron

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Nanny Bans Happy Meals

Oh dear oh dear, Nanny's minions running what they believe to be the people's republic of Liverpool clearly have far too much time on their hands.

Liverpool council have taken umbrage at McDonalds over their "Happy Meals".

Seemingly the children of Liverpool are exceedingly fat, and the council are blaming McDonalds and their Happy Meals for this. According to Nanny the fact that Happy Meals offer a small toy, is the cause of Liverpudlian kids buying all those "nasty" Happy Meals which are making them fat.

As such, Nanny's chums on the council (in the "Scrutiny Group", how very sinister and Orwellian) want to introduce a by-law banning the sale of fast food accompanied by toys.

Lib-Dem councillor Paul Twigger said:

"The Scrutiny Group is recommending that a by-law be enforced to stop the circulation of free toys associated with junk food promotions.

We consider it is high time that McDonald's are challenged over their marketing policies which are directly aimed at promoting unhealthy eating among children.

Childhood obesity is a dire threat to health in this country and it needs to be nipped in the bud.

I am not impressed that McDonald's have introduced so-called healthy options to its menu.

Children are directly targeted with junk food and McDonald's use the Happy Meals to exploit the pester power of children, against which many parents give in.

In most Happy Meals, the toy is sold with a burger along with high-calorie fries and milkshakes.

This kind of junk food is habit-forming and the Happy Meals are cynically aimed at younger children."

Isn't it funny how the "Liberal Democrats" are more often than not anything but "liberal" or "democratic" in their actions and desires?

Maybe they should change their name to something that more accurately reflects their true feelings?

Any suggestions?

OK folks, here's why this idea is bollocks:

1 The fatness or otherwise of the children of Liverpool is the responsibility of their parents, not the state.

2 The fat kids will be eating all sorts of shit, Happy Meals are not the prime cause of their obesity

3 We live in a free market economy, people can buy what the fark they like; and companies can market their products in any way that they see fit (so long as it is not misleading)

4 Free toys and gifts etc have been included with products (eg cornflakes etc) for decades; they have not been the cause of "fatness" before, and are not the cause of "fatness" in this case.

Nanny should keep her nose out, we have the right as consumers to buy what the fark we want!

Prat of The Week

Ooh, Tuesday is with us already and I haven't awarded my prestigious "Prat of The Week" Award yet.

I have little hesitation in awarding it to whoever it was who called in the Croydon police the other week, over a dispute about a hamburger in a McDonald's.

Seven of her Majesty's finest, with cars, swarmed into the eatery within minutes.

Some dopey female customer, clearly not using all the grey cells that nature had endowed her with, called the police after claiming someone behind her in the queue had been handed a burger which should have been hers.

The angry burgerless woman began shouting at staff, about the alleged queue jumping, and then called 999.

On receiving the call, officers swarmed McDonald's in North End, Croydon, within minutes.

She was taken outside by police, and was heard complaining:

"You don't understand, she took the burger."

Clearly well deserving the "Prat of The Week" Award, quite obviously the product of the Nanny "wipes my arse" state.

What a nation we are building!

The Prince of Fools

Sad to see that HRH has joined Nanny's legion of food Fascist's. HRH's comments yesterday, concerning his desire to ban McDonalds, can be duly consigned to the dustbin of history:

1 People get fat because they eat too much, and exercise too little; not because they eat fast food.

2 You are just as likely to put weight on if you overindulge in Duchy products, as you are if you overindulge in McDonalds burgers.

3 We live in a free market economy, people have the right to choose what they eat.

4 The possible future king should be apolitical, and not side with Nanny.

5 HRH's two sons indulge in burgers from time to time. Indeed, the head chef at Clarence House reportedly makes them from the finest fillet steak.

6 A Duchy original pasty has 25% more calories, 25% more fat and about 3 times the salt of a big mac.

Bang goes my knighthood!

Nanny Bans Fast Food...If You're Poor

Nanny hates fat people and...errrm...thin people.

I guess she hates everyone then.

Anyhoo, as part of Nanny's ongoing policy of hating people and what they eat, Nanny's chums in the Medical Research Council (MRC) have recently announced that chip shops shops and fast-food outlets should be barred from opening in areas of high deprivation.

In other words, poor people are too stupid to be trusted to eat what is good for them!

The MRC have stated that the high prevalence of such takeaways and restaurants in poorer areas may be one of the factors behind rising obesity, because they make unhealthy meals the easy choice for residents there.

Nanny has in fact coined a new word, in the journal "Appetite" the MRC said that fast food outlets in poor areas created an "obesogenic" environment.

Dr Sally Macintyre, from the MRC unit in Glasgow, said:

"Planners perhaps need to take into account

levels of deprivation as well as all the other factors

they consider when granting permission for new businesses."

Tam Fry, chairman of the Child Growth Foundation, said:

"We have got to subsidise fruit and vegetable shops

and we have got to limit fish and chip shops

and burger restaurants to have an impact

on the health of the most deprived communities."

How about educating people as to what is healthy, then letting them make their own decision?

Way too radical for Nanny!

Burger Off!

You know how Nanny and her "sainted" acolytes keep lecturing us about the evils of fast food, and how it is the invention of the devil?

You know also that Nanny is doing her best to wipe this evil from the face of the earth, and make us eat lettuce and beans?

Well how come then, she is happy to allow the spawn of Satan (McDonald's) to sponsor the Olympics in 2012?

Proving yet again that the Olympics is about money and sponsorship, not about sport, Nanny's chums on the British Olympic Organising Committee have landed themselves in an embarrassing situation with regard to one of the sponsors (McDonald's) for the London 2012 Olympic Games.

The Green Party is demanding to know how McDonald's, the burger chain, fits in with promises to promote locally grown food.

It should also be noted that Nanny has been conducting a very assertive healthy eating/anti obesity campaign, as such some people could argue that to associate itself with a promoter of fast food is a tad hypocritical.

The London organising committee, needless to say, are insisting that McDonald's would not have any exclusive control over catering and would be just one of a range of outlets supplying food.

Rather laughably McDonald's is the "official restaurant" (how on earth can anyone describe McDonald's as a restaurant?) of the Games, as a result of a long-term deal with the International Olympic Committee.

Money first, health and sport second!

Nanny is a hypocritical old witch.

Ignore her messages on food and health, she doesn't give a toss about you anyway; she is just interested in money.

A Conundrum

Sorry for the delay today folks. I have just spent the last six hours at hospital with my parents, waiting for Dad to have a rather unpleasant intrusive medical examination performed.

However, as sedated as he was (around the equivalent of 5 pink gins* I would say) when we left, he posed this conundrum:





"Why is it that if the doctors and the government are so concerned about our diets, and what we eat, that they have a Burger King franchise in the entrance to hospital?"

Indeed, Mayday Hospital has a very nice Burger King slap bang in the middle of the entrance hall.

Answers on a postcard please.

*NB a pink gin is an old naval drink:

- Add one drop of Angostura bitters to a glass

- Swirl it around

- Throw the bitters out

- Add some ice

- Add a measure of gin

- Add a little water (the gin turns pink)

- Drink with gusto

Prat of The Week

This week's prestigious "Prat of The Week Award" goes to Liberal Democrat MP Steve Webb, who is their Health spokesman.

Why's that then Ken, because he's a Liberal?

No.

Webb has taken umbrage (a word I have not used on this site before) over the activities of the world's most evil corporation (at least that's his view about them), namely MacDonald's.

MacDonald's have had the temerity to introduce a larger version of the Big Mac, a stonking 40% larger to be precise; the burger has been launched to coincide with the World Cup (yes, I have no idea why the two are connected either).

The burger will consist of two beef patties, which are thicker than the current offering (of course they are!) with two buns, lettuce, cheese and the secret Big Mac sauce.

Awesome!

Anyhoo, dear old Webby is of the view that there is no need for a bigger Big Mac, and has tabled an early day motion and a petition against this most evil of products.

Trouble is Steve, when you start using phrases like "there is no need..." where does it stop?

I am sure that Webb likes a drink once in a while, yet there is no need for alcohol (well there is) in a medical or nutritional sense; so why not ban alcohol.

Following Webb's logic, there is no need for the Liberal Democrats; so let's ban them too!

See how easy it is, all you need is an arrogant sense of self-righteousness and you can go around banning whatever you like.

Simple fact, once in a while to overindulge yourself does you no harm whatsoever; if you are stupid enough to eat yourself into a state of obesity then you will die, that's your privilege and not anyone else's concern.

Funny how the phrases Liberal Democrat and Steve Webb don't seem to match, wonder if he really is in the right party?

Those of you who would like to let Webb know that he has won Prat of Week, or to discuss his very selective interpretation of the phrase "Liberal Democrat", please feel to email him at this address steve@stevewebb.org.uk.

Jobsworth Pratts!

Congratulations to the jobsworths in Carrick Council for winning the prestigious Pratt of the Week Award.

Their particular pratt like behaviour has cost the good citizens of Carrick and Truro dear, in terms of time and money wasted on a silly jobsworth regulation.

The problem all started back on 31st December 2005, when a humble burger van was trying to ply its trade on Lemon Quay.

Truro Town Clerk, Russell Holland, was approached two days before by the operator of the burger van who sought permission to provide the snacks at the council New Year event on Lemon Quay.

Permission was granted.

However, at 11:44PM on the 31st, some interfering busybody reported to Carrick Council the fact that the burger van did not have the requisite £59 licence.

In fact the operator needed two licences:

- The occasional street trading licence £38 and

- The temporary event notice £21

Carrick, clearly with nothing better to do, then told Mr Holland that they would of course be taking legal action and that he would have to give a statement under caution.

Pratts!

This of course meant that Truro Council had to seek legal advice (quite properly so). The costs are now estimated to be running into the thousands.

Does Carrick Council care?

Does it F**k!

Proof, if ever it were needed, that local councils do not work for the voters but for themselves.

Feel free to drop Carrick Council a line with your views on this matter, via this link Pratts!