British Gas - Taking The Piss

British gas advert
by CentralSouth

Good morning my loyal readers, please allow me to regale you with a tale concerning my dear old mum, her boiler and British Gas.

Its a tale and half!

Last week mum's boiler went on the blink. British Gas were duly summoned to fix said boiler, and they did what they could but advised a new one was needed.

Sure enough, as eggs were eggs, the boiler breathed its last on Friday. By happy happenstance British Gas were on hand to provide a quote for a new boiler.

At this stage allow me to inform you that mum lives in a two bedroom apartment, on the 3rd floor of a modern well kept apartment block.

Can you guess how much British gas quoted?

£2K?

No!

£3K?

No!

£4K?

No!
British gas quoted £4700 (gross of their £400 discount), ie net price of £4300.

Does that figure not seem a tad high to you?

The British Gas employee who provided the quote suggested that it was, and that I would be unlikely to take it.

No sh*t!

I duly acquired another quote from a recommended, reputable gas fitter/plumber.

Can you guess what he quoted?

£1675!

Yes, £3K less than the British Gas gross quote.

How can there be such a price differential?

Ah, British Gas explain it thus...health and safety!

You see my loyal readers, British Gas are of the view that in order to install the boiler (and adjust the flu) they will need to erect (there's that word again!) scaffolding.

Health and safety, don't you know!

Quite how attempting to fleece an elderly widowed lady of £4700 makes her feel any more healthy or safer is beyond me.

However, as we know, Nanny Knows Best!

Can you guess which boiler installer we are going to use?

Suffice to say, my advice to all of you out there is to avoid British Gas like the plague.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

http://www.nannyknowsbest.com/ is brought to you by http://www.kenfrost.com/ "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Gasping For a Fag III

Heh heh:)

I see that the recent articles here about Nanny's smoking ban have produced some rather entertaining, and well observed, comments.

Keep it up!

In the spirit of sticking two fingers up to Nanny, and doing my best to thwart (now there's a word I haven't used for a while) her evil plans for subjugating us, I believe that I may have come up with a means of circumnavigating the smoking ban.

It seems that cruise ships are exempt from the smoking ban, thanks to a mixture of laws and customs.

Ships registered in Britain, such as the QE2, come under the Merchant Shipping Act which overrides the smoking regulations. Therefore on the QE2 you are still able to have a fag.

What has this got to do with circumnavigating the smoking ban?

I will tell you.

Pubs and clubs in England/Wales that still want to allow smoking should register themselves as cruise ships, that way they will be able to claim exemption from the ban.

Now, I hear you say that the UK would never allow a building to be registered as a ship flying the British flag.

Maybe so...but what of countries that offer flags of convenience for any old rust bucket?

I am sure that countries such as the Bahamas, Bermuda or Panama would be happy to welcome an English pub into their fleet.

May I suggest that you forward this suggestion on to every pub and club that you can think of?

It is most assuredly worth a shot.