Speed Bumps Are Dangerous

In a move that will piss off the "won't someone think of the children?" brigade, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (Nice) have decreed that speed bumps should be removed from roads in order to cut thousands of deaths from air pollution each year.

Seemingly measures which help motorists stay at a constant speed, rather than accelerating and decelerating, are preferable to humps; in other words never ever slow down!

It follows a study earlier this year by Imperial College which found that forcing drivers to slow down and speed up again produces significant of harmful emissions.

Other schemes proposed by Nice include separating cyclists and cars using foliage; moving living rooms to the rear of houses away from busy roads and banning ‘car idling’ outside schools and retirement homes.

How the fark does Nice intend to force people to move their living rooms?

Will Nanny send Living Room Inspectors around to check?

Sigh!

The cause of air pollution is cars, trucks, buses and planes. Nanny has no intention of removing those, as she knows there would be a riot. Hence her obsession with fags!

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Eat More Fat

As loyal readers know, Nanny's health advice wrt many things is being disproved on a daily basis.

Hot on the heels of the debacle over her advice about eating less fat, Lord McColl (emeritus professor of surgery at Guys Hospital in London) has weighed in (see the pun there?) and said that low fat diets and exercise are pointless for those wanting to lose weight and obese people should simply eat less.

Lord McColl warned that current health advice to avoid fat was ‘false and misleading’ and was fuelling the obesity epidemic. He noted that exercising was useless against the huge levels of calories from carbohydrates and sugars that people are now consuming.

Quoted by the Telegraph he laid into our chums from Nice:

“In the UK the Department of Health and Nice (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) maintains for many years that the obesity epidemic was due to lack of exercise.

It’s a pity that the 500 people employed by Nice didn’t think to go into the gymnasium get on a machine and exercise to see how few calories you actually burn off.

One can pedal away on one of those machines for half an hour and only two or three hundred calories are burned up. One has to run miles to take a pound of fat off.

The whole subject has been bedevilled by all sorts of theories about the course of the obesity; genetics, epigenetic, psychological disturbances. None of them is the cause of the obesity epidemic.

One fact remains. It is impossible to be obese unless one is eating too many calories.”

He noted that eating fat was important because it kept people feeling fuller for longer, and advised overweight people to start adding fat into their diet.

“Fat enters the small intestine and greatly delays the emptying of the stomach.

As the stomach emptying is delayed it gives the feeling that one has had enough to eat. Later when the fat has been absorbed the stomach then starts to empty again, It’s a beautifully balance mechanism which tends to prevent us from eating too much and prevents us from getting obese.”

There you go, what have I been telling you for years on this site?

It is also worth noting that low fat foods are not low calorie.

For why?

The manufacturers add sugar, in order to make up for the lack of flavour caused by removing the fat.

In other words those people who buy low fat foods, in the belief that they will help them lose weight, are being conned by both Nanny and the manufacturers!

Time for a class action!

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Nanny Hates The Sun

I see that our old friends from Nice (the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence) have yet again issued a warning about sun tanning.

This time they say that there is no healthy way to get a natural tan, and that we should stay out of the sunlight. However, they then go on to say that we should avoid vitamin D deficiency and that sitting in the sun shielded by a window won't do the job of building up vitamin D.

As ever with Nanny and Nice, her one size fits all advice isn't worth the paper it is printed upon. In the UK, as we know, the number of sunny days per annum are somewhat "limited". Advice such as this merely produces hysterical media headlines, and a sigh from the rest of the population who will inevitably ignore the advice.

Doubtless in a few months Nice will issue a directive telling us that we are in danger of rickets etc because of vitamin D deficiencies!

Just ignore the advice, and use your common sense when outside.

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Cretinous Advice From NICE

I see that our old chums from NICE (the the National Institute of Health and Care Excellence) have decreed that middle-aged people should go teetotal in order to reduce the risk of dementia.

Guidance from NICE, on how to protect against the condition, suggests that even drinking within Government safe limits can increase the risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

The new advice says the public should be advised that there is “no safe level of alcohol consumption” and calls on GPs to tackle the middle-aged about lifestyle behaviours linked to the condition.

Research has found that one third of all Alzheimer’s disease cases can be linked to lifestyle factors – such as exercise, obesity, smoking and alcohol.

All very well and dandy, except an increase in risk does not mean a causality.

More to the point, as we live longer, so our chances of developing dementia increase; ie it's an age thing.

NICE are quoted by the Telegraph:

“Drinking alcohol daily at home has become normal for some people, and this poses a threat to health.”

As noted before on this site any advice that says stop doing something, in order to reduce risks, is pissing in the wind. People will simply ignore the advice, and enjoy what remains of their lives!

The advice from NICE is cretinous!

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Nanny Tells Doctors To Snoop On Each Other

Our old friends from the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)  are so worried about the over prescription of antibiotics, that they have instructed doctors to snoop on their colleagues in order to ensure they are not prescribing too many antibiotics.

Call me naive, but aside from this being an utterly disgraceful instruction, aren't doctors meant to be competent, professional and qualified?

As such, unless there is a well founded suspicion that a specific doctor is falling short of his/her professional standards, there is absolutely no justification for another doctor to snoop on his/her colleague.

This is an utterly disgraceful instruction, it will cause distrust and disputes in many medical practices at a time when doctors and the health service can ill afford to have time wasted by such nonsense.

NICE once again proving that it is an utter disgrace!

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Nanny's Fatuous Alcohol Advice

The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG)and NICE have now decreed that, in order to ensure that no harm comes to a baby, women should not drink during the first 3 months (or just before) pregnancy.

Here's why this advice is bollocks:

1 Many pregnancies occur because alcohol was involved.

2 Many women are not aware that they are pregnant during the first few weeks (or indeed months) of pregnancy.

It is an utter waste of time to give such fatuous advice!

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Nanny's Anti Booze Pill

I see that our old friends from NICE have decreed that doctors should pro-actively ask more intrusive questions about our drinking habits and, based on those answers, prescribe a magic pill that will reduce our craving to drink.

Now here's the thing, as we all know, the NHS is struggling with finite resources to meet an infinite demand for it services. Therefore any additional cost burden will inevitably take resources away from other areas.

How much does one of these pills cost?

£3 a pop!

Who should be prescribed them?

People who drink 2 or more glasses of wine a day (or the equivalent).

Yes, you did read that correctly, 2 or more glasses of wine a day!

For why?

NICE are of the view that if you drink 2 glasses of wine a day then you are an alcoholic!

FFS!

These cretins need to get a life, and stop interfering in the lives of others.

Those who are alcohol dependent, and who come forward for help, are the ones that the scarce resources of the NHS should be focussed on; not the members of the public who drink a couple of glasses of wine, who are not dependent.

You may also be wondering about the side effects of these pills:

- nausea
- vomiting
- anxiety
- lack of sleep
- constipation etc etc

Hang on, doesn't alcohol do that too if you over indulge?

NICE really needs to get its head out of its backside!

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Nanny Bans TV

I see Nanny's chums National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE - often featured on this site) have got their knickers in a twist about how fat we are.

Their solution is hardly earth shattering, exercise more by turning off the TV and having TV free days. Oh, and for good measure, cut down on drinks with sugar and takeaways.

Sigh, has Nanny not been saying this many times before?

Why does NICE think that regurgitating the bleeding obvious will make a sea change in people's behaviour.

Oh, I know, they need to justify their existence and the funding that they receive!

Anyhoo, that aside, recommending TV free days is somewhat 1980's. NICE appear to be oblivious to the fact that many people now watch "TV" via their computers and mobile devices. Given that they are so out of touch with how people live in the 21st century, how one earth can they be trusted to give us advice?

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Booze Makes You Forget

I see that Nanny is having another pop at people who drink. This time she is trying to scare middle aged people into reducing their alcohol consumption, lest they be stricken with Alzheimer's.

New draft guidance from the National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (Nice) wants lifestyle advice to be included in NHS health checks currently offered to all patients aged between 40 and 74.

It says middle-aged patients should be warned that “there is no safe level of alcohol consumption” when it comes to their future dementia risk.

That of course is the most absurd piece of advice ever, as by definition it means that Nice want you to stop drinking completely. Hence no one will follow their advice, and ignore everything else they say as well.

Well done Nice, another botched piece of advice!

Draft recommendations also propose an expansion of “smoke-free” policies to ban smoking in parks, in order to reduce the risk of dementia.

Please, get a grip, how the fark is second hand smoke in a park going to increase someone's chances of suffering from dementia?

The more dodgy research and absurd advice Nanny inflicts upon us, the more we ignore it!

The only way to get Nanny out of our lives is to drink more, so that we can forget her.

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NICE Offers Ludicrous Obesity Advice

I see that National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (Nice) think that obese people, instead of going for extreme weight loss, should aim to lose around 3% of their body weight in a year.

Additionally, NICE also think that two thirds of the population should be sent to state-funded slimming classes run by firms such as Weight Watchers.

All very well and dandy, maybe. However, I have two observations:

- Who will fund these slimming classes?

- An obese person who loses 3% of his/her weight is still obese.

NICE has given advice that is both impractical and ludicrous!

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Hospital Smoking Shelter Ban

I see that the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) want smoking shelters (where patients and staff can have a fag break) at hospitals banned.

Those hospitals that do not ban them could face "disciplinary action".

NICE also want patients to stop smoking before any hospital admissions.

As if patients weren't stressed out enough already by being in hospital!

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Not Nice Fag Tests

As loyal readers know, Nanny hates fags and wants us all to stop smoking.

Oddly though, she is perfectly happy to make a nice little earner out of taxing fags.

Anyhoo, Nanny's latest anti fag campaign is being spearheaded by our old chums from Nice (the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence). Nice want all expectant mothers to take breath tests, not for booze (yet) but for fags.

Errmmm..unless I have missed something, smoking has not yet been declared to be illegal in this country has it?

In the event that an expectant mother agrees or (more accurately) is bullied into taking the test, and she has been found to be smoking, what will Nanny do next?

Answer: bully the woman into quiting!

Given that the tests doubtless cost money, and that the offered "cure" for smoking also costs money, a cynic might wonder if Nanny and her minions had any financial interests in the companies that offer the test kits and/or "cures" for smoking.

Views on that cynical thought anyone?

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Booze Matters - Nanny's Advice To Pregnant Women Is Bollocks

As loyal readers are only too well aware, Nanny has a real bee in her bonnet about booze. This is rather odd really, given how much our "respected" politicians drink (at taxpayer subsidised prices).

Anyhoo, of particular angst to Nanny is the fact that pregnant women drink. This issue has rankled Nanny for many years now, in fact in March 2008 (this site really has been around for a very long time hasn't it?) I wrote:

"Our old chums from NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence - often featured on this site - see label at end of this article) have put their jack boots on again.

This time they have waded into the debate over drinking whilst pregnant.

NICE have decreed that pregnant women should drink nothing at all whilst pregnant, most certainly not during the first three months of pregnancy.

Now, here's why this edict is bollocks:

1 Women have been drinking for millennia during pregnancy, in moderation there is no damage or risk to the baby.

2 Given that for the first few weeks of pregnancy many women do not even know that they are pregnant, how the fark are they meant not to drink during the first 3 months?

3 Here is the clincher, NICE admit that their advice is based on no scientific evidence whatsoever. Hoisted by their own petard, Nanny's chums admit that they now issue edicts without any scientific backing!"

Aside from the fact that NICE and Nanny admit that there is no scientific evidence for their prejudice and edict against pregnant women drinking (ironic given that booze is the cause of more pregnancies in this country than sober coitus), loyal readers know that Nanny bases all of her edicts on prejudices and "dodgy science" (ie Nanny's basis for her advice on all matters is shoddy, and does not stand up to rigorous scientific scrutiny).

I am therefore highly gemused to see that some Danish scientists have actually bothered to do some research into the issue, and have concluded in research published in BJOG that drinking a low or moderate level of alcohol in early pregnancy is not linked to developmental problems in five-year-olds.

In fact one to eight drinks a week was not linked to harm.

The even better news is that, unlike in the UK where Nanny defines a drink as 7.9g of alcohol, the Danes define it as 12g!

Huzzah!

Let's all go and drink in Denmark!

As ever with all things, ignore the advice that Nanny gives you and vary your diet and pleasures (we all like our pleasures don't we?;)) to suit your body and personal circumstances.

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Won't Someone Think of The Children?

Sadly not everyone seems to have realised that ZaNuLabour no longer runs this country, and are still trying to apply that party's discredited social engineering policies.

The core of ZaNaLabour's policies was the "won't someone think of the children?" credo, which was placed at the heart of absolutely everything they did.

Our old "friends" from the National Institute for health and Clinical Excellence (Nice) are still firm believers in the policy, and are demanding that pregnant women (when they book a midwife) be given a carbon monoxide test.

For why?

To determine if they are smokers.

Now we are all aware that smoking during pregancy can cause issues with the foetus. However, so can many other things that expectant mothers do.

Whilst it is easy to let this one slip by, as a non smoker, it is but the slippery slope.

Once NICE have the test results Nanny will then "encourage" the mothers to stop smoking.

The "encouragement" will be made harsher and harsher as time progresses, until it will become mandatory for expectant mothers to quit smoking.

Having conquered the smoking demon, Nanny (NICE) will move on to the drinkers (and demand blood tests for booze).

Once that is done, NICE will demand that pregnant mothers be monitored for their food intake.

Once all of these issues have been neatly dealt with, Nanny will demand that people be given a certificate of "good health" before they try to conceive.

Over reaction?

Variations on this form of state interference in people's breeding habits has been, and is, practised by a number of countries around the world.

Britain is not immune from such policies, as long as quangos such as NICE are allowed to exist.

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Carry On Banning

I see that National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE), the organisation that bans expensive cancer treatments, is continuing with its mission of banning things.

It has called for a ban on trans fats (artificial fats) in foods.

Fair enough, as I personally prefer the taste and texture of real butter (not artificially "spun" gloop) and real lard rather than veggie oil etc.

However, NICE then go on to say that saturated fat (eg butter) should also be cut back.

Now if you ban one type of fat, you will have to replace it with another.

As I have noted repeatedly, the body is like a car engine; deprive it of oil (ie fat) and it will seize up. It stands to reason that blood flows through the veins much easier if the veins have a good coating of fat:)

For good measure NICE also want salt reduced (as per their usual whine).

Salt is necessary for a human to survive. Salt tablets are mandatory for those working in hot climates, a normal healthy person who drinks water and moves around will excrete/sweat out any "excess" salt quite naturally.

As a child I used to "shave" blocks of sea salt for my mum (she bought these large cubes wrapped in blue paper, anyone remember them?), and I would often take chunks of salt to munch on whilst shaving the blocks. I am now middle aged, with no heart/blood pressure issues, it did me no harm.

Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die!

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Booze Matters - NICE Wades In

Father Ted- Father Jack Gives Up Alcohol

Sir Stephen Muckle | MySpace Video
Last week I observed that Tesco were playing the "minimum price of alcohol" game, and warned that National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) were sniffing around too.

Well, as expected, this week NICE have come out fully in favour of a minimum price of alcohol, claiming that it will reduce "problem/binge" drinking.

To my understanding of what Nanny claims to be "binge" drinking, this occurs when people are out and about in pubs and bars. Setting a minimum price will not affect these places, all it will do is push up the price of booze in supermarkets and off licences.

NICE also want more advice pushed down our throats about the dangers of booze.

The BBC, for good measure, interviewed some hapless/hopeless female this morning who had walked on some broken glass when pissed.

Boo Hoo!

She claimed that had she been given more "advice" about the dangers of booze, then the accident might not have happened.

For fark's sake!

When you drink 20 pints, or the equivalent, you know full well that you are pissed. In the event you walk on broken glass, or fall flat on your face you have no one to blame but yourself.

How stupid and irresponsible are people these days?

When I am pissed I immediately summon my sedan chair to convey me from bar to bar.

Does NICE really think that people with this level of "intelligence" will ever heed more advice (from which we are already drowning)?

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The Child Inspectors

I see that, despite our "glorious new age" of politics, Nanny is still intent on prying into the lives of her citizens.

Guidelines for inspections of family homes have been drawn up on the instructions of Nanny's chums in the Department of Health.

For why?

Nanny is worried about the number of injuries occurring to under 15s in the home.

Parents who have children under five will be visited by Nanny's inspectors. The inspectors will check whether families have installed smoke alarms, stair gates, locks on medicine cupboards, windows and ovens, and fitted temperature controls to stop bath water getting too hot etc.

Can you guess which organ of the state has drawn up the guidelines?

Yes, that's right, our old "friends" National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (Nice).

Health and safety organisations have been told to identify homes where children are thought to be most at risk of accidents, and "offer home risk assessments".

Seemingly Nanny will use doctors and nurses as her spies, to tip off the state about children who have been admitted with injuries.

I used to fall over in the garden all the time and graze my knees, it's what happens when you are 6 or so. I don't fall over very much now:)

So, what happens then when someone refuses to allow a visit by Nanny's inspectors?

I guarantee, at the very least, their names will be added to a little list entitled "Uncooperative Needs To Be Watched".

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Prats of The Week - Booze and The Pregnant Woman

Our old chums from NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence - often featured on this site - see label at end of this article) have put their jack boots on again.

This time they have waded into the debate over drinking whilst pregnant.

NICE have decreed that pregnant women should drink nothing at all whilst pregnant, most certainly not during the first three months of pregnancy.

Now, here's why this edict is bollocks:

1 Women have been drinking for millennia during pregnancy, in moderation there is no damage or risk to the baby.

2 Given that for the first few weeks of pregnancy many women do not even know that they are pregnant, how the fark are they meant not to drink during the first 3 months?

3 Here is the clincher, NICE admit that their advice is based on no scientific evidence whatsoever. Hoisted by their own petard, Nanny's chums admit that they now issue edicts without any scientific backing!

Good grief, they'll be telling pregnant women not to smoke next!

NICE, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Burke and Hare II

I am pleased to see that yesterday's article, about our substance abusing chums in the butchers' profession, has provoked some good "intercourse".

Sad to say, but the butchers forget that preserving life is not just about keeping the body functioning in perpetuity; it is also about the quality of life.

What purpose does it serve to be a "living" corpse (see Edgar Alan Poe's "The Facts in the Case of M. Valdimar") if you are senile, attached to a machine and your dignity long since taken away from you by the state or the substance abusing butchers and their minions? (Catholic church and other cults should take note of that!).

My father well understood that, and refused treatment for his cancer; he managed to die with dignity, at home, without being plugged into a machine and without being in pain.

I would also mention a fine old lady who I had the privilege to know, when I was a youngster (yes folks, I was young once:)), and acted as an honorary granny.

She was a district nurse (1920's to I guess 1950's), who by the way delivered my father, she spent many nights sitting by the bedsides of those who were dying; ensuring that they died with dignity.

She never feared death (something that our weak coddled youth obsessed society seems to do); noting that having seen so many die, that it was merely a matter of going to sleep. In those days the butchers couldn't keep the body going beyond its proper time!

She died in her 80's (1979) in her own home, sitting in her chair one evening; all very peaceful, and all very dignified.

As to the various comments about what to do with your body post demise, eg being made into a diamond, I refer you to this:

"I have spent the first forty years of my life eating good food and drinking fine wines, ales and spirits; I fully intend to continue in the same vein over the next forty, or so, years. However, when I do finally "pop my clogs" I would like to be made into a pate which would be served at my wake. That way my friends will be able to relive the culinary experiences of my life. Should you not wish to wait that long, then may I suggest that you read on."

Source?

Why none other than my own book, "Accountants Can Cook".

Unlike Harry Potter, feel free to download it for free!

Ken

Burke and Hare

How refreshing that Nanny's chums in the medical profession have not forgotten their history and are invoking the actions of their old time help mates, Burke and Hare, in addressing the so called "organ crisis" in the NHS.

Sir Liam Donaldson, Nanny's chief medical officer, has claimed that presumed consent is the only way to combat Britain's transplant crisis, where many die on the waiting list for an organ.

Sir Liam said the NHS needed three times the number of organ donors on its register.

Sir Liam said:

"There are simply not enough organs

donated to meet the need for transplant,

with one person dying every day while waiting

for a transplant.

Compounding this are issues surrounding consent,

which often reduces this number further."

To meet demand for organs, the number of people on the NHS donor register would need to treble, Sir Liam said.

Here's the rub!

"I believe we can only do this through

changing the legislation to an opt-out system

with proper regulation and safeguards."

Proper safeguards!

Pah!

Who seriously trusts the state, or the "managers" of our health care system, not to twist the safeguards to meet their NHS targets?

It is funny how those in the medical profession sometimes take it upon themselves to make pronouncements about matters legal, when it is not in their remit at all.

Aside from the incessant braying from our substance abusing chums in the butchers' (sorry, medical) profession about banning smoking, banning booze, banning fat and other of life's little pleasures; they now take it upon themselves to ignore the fact that we own our organs individually...they are not owned by the state.

Any attempt by the state, or butchers' profession, to take organs without prior express consent would in fact be theft.

However, that "small" point of law seems to have escaped our substance abusing chums...just as it did Burke and Hare all those years ago.