The Dangers of Daffodils

Proof, if ever it were needed, that Nanny is a complete knobhead and that some people living under the dictatorship of Nanny are utter fuckwits.

Nanny has told supermarkets to remove daffodils (which are poisonous if eaten) from the food areas of the shops, lest morons mistake them for food.

In a letter to supermarkets, Public Health England (which clearly has nothing better to do) warned that the flowers could be confused with onions or Chinese vegetables, and consumption of them was an "emerging risk".

Who is dumber, Nanny or the cretin that chooses to eat a daffodil?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Daffodils

Spring has sprung, the trees are budding, the sap is rising and the daffodils are growing in all parts of the septic isle, aside from Tendring that is.

For why?

Just ask Robert Blyth, who owns a farm in Ardleigh.

Mr Blyth has been required by Nanny's chums from Tendring District council to submit a seven-page document for permission to plant "a seasonal display of flowers" (daffodils) at his farm.

This being a council that he is dealing with, he will have to wait weeks before a decisions is made; by then the flowers will have withered and died.

Were he to go ahead and allow the daffodils to bloom without asking for permission, the council would have fined him £2,500.

Ker Farking Ching!

(Actually Nanny already has form with daffodils, in 2005 Strood civic centre banned them for being "politically biased").

Anyhoo, Tendring District Council claim that the 13,000 bulb display (which spells out the name of the farm's weekly boot sale) is an advertisement, and therefore needs to be approved.

That is a bit rich, given that the council have such a display showing the council logo on Clacton seafront!

So what happens if the permission is refused?

The plants will have died by then anyway!

Hypocritical, idiotic jobsworths!

Councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Educashun

Given Nanny's oft stated predilection for "Educashun, Educashun, Educashun" and the recently announced "Balls Plan" for one stop shops at schools, it has come as a "total surprise" (there is irony in that phrase folks) to learn that classic poetry is in danger of disappearing from English lessons because teachers with little knowledge of literature.

Maybe, on reflection, I shouldn't be too surprised.

Many of the young teachers in schools have been victims of Nanny's lousy educashun system, where competitiveness and a desire for self improvement have been banned.

Only very few primary schools are now using works such as Wordsworth's Daffodils, or Coleridge's the Rime of the Ancient Mariner.

It seems that many primary teachers simply do not know enough about poetry to cover the subject properly. They instead opt for the easy option, offered by modern writers.

Taking the easy way out has always been Nanny's philosophy.

Children should not be stretched beyond the limits of the slowest/dimmest pupil in class.

The result?

A classroom full of bored, fractious kids who end up causing trouble as their minds are turned to mush in the stultifying boredom of Nanny's schools.

Seemingly the poem of choice for Nanny's teachers is that redoubtable work by Spike Milligan, "On the Ning, Nang, Nong".

Inspectors who checked poetry teaching at 86 primary and secondary schools concluded it was the worst-taught aspect of English.

One in three schools were merely "satisfactory" while only seven were rated "outstanding".

Passing for teacher feedback these days, instead of a detailed critique, teachers now write "super" or "lovely poem". Thus displaying a remarkable level of ignorance.

Adding to the boredom imposed by Nanny on the hapless kids is the task set by many teachers, that of counting the lines in a poem.

What the fark good is that?

How can we possibly hope to teach children if the teachers themselves are uneducated and unchallenging?

Nanny Bans Daffodils

It seems that Nanny must have some form of hayfever, or had a particularly unpleasant experience with flowers in her childhood, as she has decided to ban daffodils.

According to Nanny's chums at the Strood Civic Centre, daffodils are "politically biased".

Uhh?

Staff at the centre told Valerie Jewess, who was taking in a bunch of daffs to display there, that she could not display her flowers as yellow is the colour associated with the Liberal Democrats.

Whilst I realise that we are in the middle of a General Election, I do think that is taking things a little too far.

After all, each party (both mighty and small) have a particular colour in their brand; you cannot ban all colours.

Or maybe you can?