RBS

Off topic...but if only the NEDs of RBS had read my advice in 2003...how different things might have been!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Size Matters

In this age when we are bombarded with adverts to enhance our busts, penises (or is it penii?), butts etc how refreshing to see that Nanny has taken the contrarian perspective!

Nanny's Health Secretary, Alan Johnson, will order forms such as Mars, Coca-Cola, Britvic and Nestlé to produce smaller versions of their products.

The rationale being that we are far too stupid and greedy to be able to buy a large versions of these products, and not eat/drink them in one go.

Johnson says:

"People want to eat more healthily.

I challenge the industry to come up with healthier snacks. That's not just good for the nation's health, it's also good for business."

Errmmm...what is to stop people eating healthy stuff now?

We live in a market economy, where all manner of products from around the world are "freely" available (eg fruit, nuts, meat, fish, coke etc).

People can buy these products and do with them whatever they wish, to assist their weight loss (if that is what their objective is).

Needless to say, Nanny is threatening legislation if her "suggestions" for smaller products go unheeded.

We each of us go to the devil in our own way, let us at least enjoy our journey. Nanny should stop wasting time and resources in trying to divert us from our inevitable and final destination.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny's Tree Hugging Tendancies

It would seem that the good councillors of Cambridge City care more about trees than children.

The council want to ban nursery children (aged 2-4) from playing under a 30 year old cedar, to safeguard the tree from damage.

Cambridge City Council prepared a report into the health of the tree at the Under Fives Roundabout Pre-School in Cambridge. The report concluded that the tree will suffer if the ground is "poached and compacted" by "constant activity" which could stop water reaching the roots.

The report says:

"Ideally, the children would not be able to play beneath the tree."

How heavy can a bunch of 2-4 year olds really be?

Here's a radical thought, if the tree really does end up being damaged (highly unlikely I think), why not just plant a new one somewhere else?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Catapult

Oh dear oh dear, I know that Nanny deplores violence and hates the idea that people should carry weapons (eg knives, swords, guns etc).

However, please tell me why Nanny got herself into a tiz over John Payne buying a £1.50 plastic catapult, which he wanted to use to fire bait into rivers when he went fishing?

I would point out that Mr Payne is 73 years old, walks with a limp and has arthritis.

So far so good?

Errmmm...not in Nanny's world.

Mr Payne was asked by the Original Factory Shop, in Melksham Wiltshire, to prove that he was over 18!

A spokesman for the Original Factory Shop said:

"I am sure the assistant was having a bit of fun with the customer and did not seriously expect him to show identification."

Mr Payne didn't get that impression!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Eggcellent!

Time for another of my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the good people of "The Happy Egg Company", who sell eggs.

Can you guess what they have done children?

Yes, that's right, they have printed on their egg boxes (which have their name, a picture of an egg and a cartoon chicken) the following wording:

"allergy advice: contains egg" (inside the lid of the boxes).

Now, aside from the bleeding obvious nature of the contents of the boxes from the outside labelling, by printing it on the inside were anyone with an egg allergy moronic enough to buy this product they would become aware of said contents when they opened the box anyway (observing that it contained eggs).

However, as if that were not enough evidence to show that this company is run by simpletons, there is one additional factoid that I need to convey to you.

The company has not printed the warning in its boxes of ten eggs!

The Happy Egg Company, well deserving Prats of The Week.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Hoisted By Her Own Petard

Poor old Nanny "Smiler" Brown hoisting herself by her own petard (shades of Mussolini spring to mind) by having her oft repeated, and nasty "Little Englander", phrase "British jobs for British workers" thrown back at her by the wildcat strikers.

The sure sign of a dictatorship is when a government plays the "race card" and pretends to "protect" its nationals from "foreigners".

Like it or not we live in a global economy, Nanny's attempts to pretend that she cares about us (wrt subjects that really matter, eg jobs etc) have been shown to be the hollow fallacies that they really are.

In truth that is often why she tries to divert our attention with her meaningless, yet dangerous) health and safety initiatives, and campaigns against conkers, hot water, door mats, salt, smoking, drinking etc.

She is a powerless old crone, intent on staying in orifice long past her sell by date.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries