Greed Makes People Sanctimonious and Woke

🚨 | NEW: The man photographed as a baby on the ‘Nevermind’ cover has sued Nirvana, alleging child pornography

Via @Variety pic.twitter.com/7haG9rc0Ly

— News For All (@NewsForAllUK) August 25, 2021

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Nanny Bans Free Air

Rather bizarrely, Nanny's chums in Tower Hamlets have banned the good people of Isambard's Cycles from offering customers free air via a pump.

@TowerHamletsNow are fining us for having this free pump outside for cyclists to use. As of next week it will no longer be available #RT pic.twitter.com/SdLB1CN9JN

— ISAMBARD'S CYCLES (@isambardscycles) July 30, 2017

For why?

It seems that the pump is an "obstruction".

However, if the bicycle shop paid Nanny for providing free air the pump would then no longer be an obstruction!

Obstruction of the highway (which oddly ceases to become an obstruction, providing we pay @TowerHamletsNow for the privilege)

— ISAMBARD'S CYCLES (@isambardscycles) July 30, 2017

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Size Matters - The Incredible Shrinking Mars bar

Oh dear, thanks to nanny's war on sugar, it seems that various choccy bars (eg Kat, Dairy Milk and Mars) will be shrunken in size by 20%.

For why?

In order to meet Nanny's targets on reducing sugar.

Had they not done this, the manufacturers might have been named and shamed by Public Health England.

Surely any publicity is good publicity?

Disregarding the manufacturers' apparent fear of PHE, there might be a wee catch in this for the hapless consumer, as yet none of the manufacturers have said that a 20% reduction in size will be a matched by a 20% reduction in price!

How odd!

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Nanny's Greed Costs Her £32BN

Oh dear it seems that Nanny' sin taxes (taxes on booze and fags), instead of raising revenue, have cost the Treasury £32billion.

How?

Excess taxes create illicit markets.

The Taxpayers' Alliance are quoted by the Telegraph:

HMRC has clearly been unsuccessful at claiming these duties for some time and... it needs to take decisive action.

The “tax gap” would be enough to fund a 1.5p cut in the basic rate of Income Tax, according to the TA report.

“HMRC has clearly been unsuccessful at claiming these duties for some time and therefore it needs to take decisive action, not introduce policies that make it worse. It is unfair that higher taxes for ordinary families are often used to make up the shortfall.

The loss of £31.8 billion in revenue over a five year period could have funded a 1.5p cut in the basic rate of Income Tax. Not only would this have helped millions of ordinary families, but it would also have had a big impact on the jobs market, which is particularly important at this time.”

John O'Connell, chief executive of the TaxPayers' Alliance, said:

"Our ludicrously complicated, punitive tax system not only hits hard-pressed families with crippling bills but also affects frontline services by depriving Treasury of revenue lost to the black market, all the while lining the pockets of those peddling dodgy tobacco, alcohol and diesel.

The revenue lost to the illicit trade could fund a modest but much needed tax cut for millions of families while preventing smugglers from profiting because of deeply regressive 'sin taxes' which hit the poorest hardest.

It is high time the Government offered struggling taxpayers a better deal instead of kowtowing to the self-appointed lifestyle police who remain oblivious to the cost of ever-rising duties on ordinary taxpayers."

Well said sir!

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Those Whom The Gods Wish To Destroy...

Jobless father of three fined with €5,000 for selling donuts without license https://t.co/ELhczxwqco

— Keep Talking Greece (@keeptalkingGR) October 7, 2016

A very sad example of a state where Nanny (in this case Greek Nanny at the behest of the Quadriga) loses her mind completely in her lust for tithes!

The situation in Greece cannot continue like this, something will inevitably break.

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Happy Plastic Bag Tax Day!

Today sees the imposition of Nanny's 5p (minimum - watch out for retailers trying to screw you) plastic bag tax in England.

Staff at major retailers will ask you to pay the charge at checkouts. At self-checkouts, you will be asked to declare how many bags you have used and the charge will be applied (make sure you lie).

The charge applies to “single-use” thin plastic bags – the technical specification is:

• unused
• plastic
• has handles
• 70 microns thick or less

It does not matter how big the bag is, so even small plastic bags you might be given when you buy your lunch are included.

The law does not actually specify how much the bags should cost, but retailers have been told to charge at least 5p.

If you are getting food delivered from a major supermarket, Asda, Sainsbury’s, Waitrose and Tesco will give you the option of a bagless delivery, or a flat rate of 40p. Morrisons and Ocado are charging 5p for each bag used, but will pay 5p for every bag returned.

The legislation applies to all types of shops, but only to retailers with more than 250 employees. However, watch out for your local shop trying to make extra money.

Where, oh where, does the money go?

Wherever the retailers wish!

Yes, that's right, wherever the retailers wish.

In other words they can keep it!

Nanny "expects" retailers to donate the money to worthy causes, and will be asking for reports on where the money goes.

"It's OK, the £1.5 BILLION bag tax is going to charity" pic.twitter.com/4yyn4PIJMU

— Old Holborn (@Holbornlolz) October 5, 2015

Needless to say Nanny gets her share too.

How?

Via VAT, Nanny has predicted an income of £19m a year from the VAT charged on the bags.

Ker Farking Ching!

Happy Plastic Bag Tax Day Everyone!

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Auntie Descends Into Civil War

In November 2012 I wrote about "Incurious" George Entwistle, who helped Auntie out of a jam by resigning from his job as Director General of the BBC after a mere 8 weeks in the position.

Auntie was so touched and overcome with gratitude that she awarded him a full year's salary of £450,000, on top of his £877,000 pension pot as a leaving present. Oddly enough Auntie's own headlines on that morning neglect to mention the pension pot.

That's a leaving present of £1.3M!

Anyhoo, here we are in September 2013 and Nanny has finally woken up to the fact that maybe this payoff and others were a tad OTT. As such, the "great and the good" from the BBC and the BBC Trust were summoned to Parliament yesterday for a wee chat with the Public Accounts Committee (PAC) over the issue of executive payoffs.

It was a "jolly" affair indeed as the BBC's high command ended up blaming each other for the mess, and refusing to acknowledge that in the real world (outwith banking) people are held accountable for payoffs to ex execs.

The Telegraph reports that during three hours of intense questioning by MPs, former Director-General Mark Thompson and Lord Patten, the chairman of the BBC Trust, repeatedly contradicted each other about the payoffs of up to £1million.

Thompson accused the BBC Trust of making “misleading” and “damaging” comments, while the chairman of the BBC Trust said he had been accused of "having misled the committee on something I never knew".

One BBC non-executive director claimed the pay-offs had been "value for money", while another said that they were "eye-watering" and part of a culture of extravagance at the corporation.

Margaret Hodge, chairman of PAC, described the appearance by the BBC executives as "grossly unedifying" and said it could only “damage the standing and reputation" of the BBC.

“At the best I think what we have seen is incompetence, a lack of central control, a failure to communicate. At its worse we may have seen people covering their backs by being less than open.” 

Nothing new there then in Nanny's and Auntie's world!

Nice to see our licence fees being so "wisely" used!

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The Danger of Burgers

I kid you not, Nicola Peate had to have her jaw put back into place by medics after it dislocated while she was attempting to get her teeth around a "triple-patty" burger at a Liverpool restaurant.

Have we forgotten how to use cutlery, and only insert into our mouth a portion of food that actually fits that particular orifice?


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Ker Farking Ching!

As loyal readers know, councils are using parking charges to supplement their income.

I am pleased to see that this fact has now been confirmed by the RAC Foundation, which has stated that parking charges are providing huge cash surpluses for some English councils.

As per the BBC, 359 councils across England had a total current account surplus of £565m from on and off-street parking schemes in 2011-12. Eight of the largest 10 surpluses came from London councils with Westminster in front with a £41.6m profit.

Oddly enough Westminster City Council disputed many of the figures, but said it would work with motorists to reduce fines.

LOL!

I am gemused to see that my own council of Brighton and Hove came in sixth with £14.4m.

The total profit represented a £54m increase on the surplus from 2010-11 and only 52 of the councils reported a deficit on their 2011-12 parking operations.

Transport minister Norman Baker said: 

"The law is quite clear. Councils should not be pricing their parking in order to make a profit.

Any monies raised from parking in excess of the cost of administration has to go back to transport purposes which can be dealing with pot holes, improved road management or can be investing in public transport to encourage people to free up the roads."

All very laudable, but as we all know transport fines and indeed tranport taxes are not ring fenced in reality.


Ker Farking Ching!

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The Thieving Bastards of Newham Council

As loyal readers know, Nanny and her chums will do anything in their power to screw this country's hapless citizens out of as much money as possible.

Up until now this "milch cow" approach was under the guise of Nanny's rule of "law", now it seems that Nanny has gone one step further and is happy to gather such tithes illegally and outwith the rule of law.

Step forward the thieving bastards from Newham Council, who have happily been issuing illegal parking tickets over the last two years based on "evidence" garnered from a dozen cameras that have not been authorised by the Vehicle Certification Agency (VCA).
 
The BBC reports that Newham Council knows that between 2011 and 2013 it issued 6,840 tickets from unauthorised cameras - making £350,000.

By law, only camera models that have been specifically authorised by the VCA can be used by councils. Otherwise authorities might use cameras that are not of a high enough calibre to be relied upon for evidence. However, Newham Council was using cameras that did not have approval.

The council has now cancelled all the parking tickets that were unpaid, writing off a total of £347,376. However, it is refusing to refund those drivers who settled the unlawful fines straight away.

 

A Newham Council spokesman said:

"An internal review in June 2013 of 169 cameras operated by Newham Council found that 12 cameras used to issue parking tickets were not fully certified at that time. 

The council has decided that all outstanding fines from tickets issued via these cameras will be cancelled.

The cameras recorded vehicle use which was liable for enforcement.

As other councils have established in law when involved in similar cases on a much larger scale, we will therefore not be allowing appeals on tickets paid in relation to these cameras."

Ker Farking Ching!

Newham council are thieving bastards, happy to enforce the law in order to extract money from local residents but refusing to obey the law when it comes to its own behaviour and criminal activity.

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Sue, Grabbit and Run

As loyal readers know, the Nanny state has spawned an entire industry dedicated to helping people sue other people/organisations for what we once used to describe as "accidents".

Now, seemingly, nothing is an "accident" but is instead "someone else's fault" out of which we can make a tidy little sum.

Step forward PC Kelly Jones who injured her leg and wrist at the filling station in Thetford, Norfolk, on 25 August last year when she was on duty.

The BBC reports that a letter to the business from solicitor Pattinson Brewer states PC Jones went to the Nunns Bridges garage at 00:20 BST.

It said she went towards a gap in the fencing near a jet wash area in order to access the rear of the premises.

She did not know there was a section of high kerbing and tripped and fell.

PC Jones injured her left leg and right wrist and went to the West Suffolk Hospital. The claim alleges the petrol station was at fault for failing to ensure PC Jones was "reasonably safe", making no attempt to light the area or warn her about the step.

A force spokesman is quoted by the Liverpool Echo:

"This legal action is not supported by the Constabulary, our understanding being that the action is funded and supported by the Police Federation, a position over which the Constabulary has no control."

This will make people think twice about calling on the police for help.

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Nanny's Pedestrian Tax

As loyal readers know, councils are the enemies of the people.

However, even I a very cynical individual was gobsmacked when I read about Canterbury council's attempt to screw their paymasters (their voters) out of even more money by slapping a pedestrian tax on them.

Yes, you did read that correctly, a pedestrian tax!

Seemingly the Tory run council tried to charge the residents of 14 houses in Whitstable £16 for the right to walk across some land (aka Bison's car park) at the back of their houses (bought by the council in 1995 via compulsory purchase).

The council tried this little scam on when it sent letters to the residents asking for £122 per annum for vehicular access to the rear of their houses.

Unsurprisingly the residents told the council to fuck off, and a firestorm of negative publicity engulfed the council.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the toads in the council backed down and claimed that the were "reviewing the situation".

In other words they know they can't get away with such blatant theft, and are now looking for a "face saving" exit.

As loyal readers know, when the bright light of publicity is shone on Nanny's greedy little scams she backs off and pretends it was a misunderstanding.

Like all bullies Nanny needs to be stood up to, otherwise she will get away with murder.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

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Brighton's Incompetent Ker Farking Ching!

As loyal readers know, Nanny and her minions in her local councils love to find ways to charge the merry hell out of her "loyal" subjects/taxpayers.

The easiest method, favoured by councils, is that of parking charges.

Loyal readers with good memories (unsullied by drink and other substances) may well recall that in May I wrote of Brighton council's greedy plans to charge the hell out of visiting motorists along the seafront, by charging £20 per day for people parking along Madeira Drive.

Ker Farking Ching!

Anyhoo, all this greed is all very nice and dandy if the humble taxpayers actually pay the price and hand the money over.

However, there is a wee fly in Nanny's oinkment wrt charging people for parking in Brighton.

It seems that parking meters in Brighton and Hove do not accept new 5p and 10p coins, introduced at the beginning of 2012.

For why?

The council have not bothered telling the devices to take them.

To add to the parking fiasco, a mere 50 parking meters in Brighton accept card payments.

Well done lads!

Nanny's chums at the Treasury are unimpressed, an insider told The Argus (Brighton's local rag) that councils had been warned far in advance of the change and advised to re-calibrate their machines.

Quote:

“There is really no excuse.”

Brighton council are, of course, unrepentant:

“Our parking machines do not accept the new 5p and 10p coins. 

We took this into account when setting the new tariffs we’ve brought in, with the result that all our tariffs can now be paid without having to use the new coins. 

We have put notices on all our machines asking people not to use the new coins, and we will be replacing the redundant coin slots as and when individual machines need servicing. 

We’re also looking to make things easier for residents by introducing more cashless payment options for parking, such as by card or by phone, over the next year or so.”

My view is simple, if Nanny and her chums intend to screw us at least they should do it efficiently!

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Monkey See, Monkey Do

As loyal readers know only too well, Nanny loves to use her rules and regulations as an excuse to charge us money (eg parking fines, street enforcement fines, music licences etc etc).

Sadly it is not just the state that uses rules and regulations as an excuse to rip us off, the private sector has also taken to copying Nanny as well. Step forward Monarch Airlines, which has an "interesting" take on what constitutes a health and safety issue; as Zoe Hammond found to her cost recently.

Ms Hammond was flying back at night from Turkey on Monarch, and felt a little chilly on the plane. She, like any other passenger on a cold plane, not unreasonably asked for a blanket.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the stewardess told Ms Hammond that she could not be given a blanket for health and safety reasons.

What?

Since when?

However, it doesn't end there.

Can you guess what then happened children?

Yes, that's right, the stewardess was happy to sell Ms Hammond a blanket for £5.

Ker Farking Ching!

Ms Hammond, tired and cold, gave in and paid. However, on her return to the UK the Mail reports that she raised the issue with the Health and Safety Executive (HSE).

A spokesman said:

"HSE have contacted the CAA and they have confirmed that there is no legal requirement to prevent a passenger having a blanket to keep them warm. Cabin crew from Monarch Airlines allegedly made the claim about health and safety

There are no health and safety regulations to prevent an airline providing blankets. It would be helpful for the airline to explain the real reasons for their decisions rather than attributing it to health and safety.

This is a blatant case of health and safety being used gratuitously as a cover up for poor customer service and/or a commercial decision.

It is clear that there is no health and safety concern given that blankets are available - at a price. The airline should have the courage to explain and stand by the real reason for its decisions."

As the old saying goes "monkey see, monkey do", the private sector is emulating the state wrt greed, fraud and dishonesty.

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Olympics Madness

I have a sneaking suspicion that Nanny is taking the forthcoming Olympics Greedfest a little too seriously.

As Helen Perry of Bridlington discovered recently, when she made a wee joke on Faecesbook about squirting the Olympic flame out with a water pistol.

Can you guess what Nanny did children?

Yes, that's right, she was threatened with arrest by Humberside police.

Good grief!

I trust I am not alone in regarding the forthcoming Olympics as being a colossal waste of time and money?

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Brighton Council Performs Half A U-turn

Loyal readers will recall that I recently wrote about Brighton council's daft and greedy idea to charge £20 per day for people parking along Madeira Drive on the seafront here:

"The council as from 1 April are now charging £20 per day (an increase of £16 from the current winter rate of £4 per day) for the privilege of parking in car parking spaces along Madeira Drive.

Brilliant!

That makes Brighton the most expensive place in the UK in which to park!

Ker Farking Ching!  
 
Not only that, but the meters only accept £1 coins (they do not take notes or cards).

In one fell swoop the council have made Brighton seafront the least attractive place in the country to park. "

Following a public drubbing, the council have performed a U-turn, or rather half a U-turn on parking charges.

The council now plan to introduce a new eight-hour tariff costing £15 in the seafront high zone, which includes Madeira Drive.

The £20 all-day charge is still in place.

A new medium tariff zone on Hove seafront from the Peace Statue to east of Fourth Avenue will cost a maximum of £10.

It is clearly a step in the right direction, but not enough. It is clear that public pressure, as with so many of Nanny's other daft ideas, has forced a change of heart and that the Green’s plans are unravelling.

Therefore further pressure should ensure that the council reduce the charges even more.

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Ker Farking Ching - Brighton Council's Fuckwittery

Here in sunny Brighton we used to welcome day trippers and tourists.

For why?

Well, Brighton is a seaside resort that arose from the hedonistic "larks" of a rather portly Prince Regent. The financial infrastructure of the seafront is based on encouraging tourists to part with their cash, in exchange for fish &chips, sticks of rock, deckchairs and other such stuff.

That at least was the set up in the past.

Unfortunately our Green Party overlords have other ideas and other agendas. The Greens do not like cars, and have come up with a "terrific" wheeze that raises money for their moribund accounts and discourages people from parking their cars along the seafront.

Can you guess what that is children?

Yes, that's right, the council as from 1 April are now charging £20 per day (an increase of £16 from the current winter rate of £4 per day) for the privilege of parking in car parking spaces along Madeira Drive.

Brilliant!

That makes Brighton the most expensive place in the UK in which to park!

Ker Farking Ching!  
 
Not only that, but the meters only accept £1 coins (they do not take notes or cards).

In one fell swoop the council have made Brighton seafront the least attractive place in the country to park.

Well done lads!

Surely though, the council have an effective "park and ride" scheme?

Errmm..not that I am aware of!

Alternative transport options are great in the Green world (the Greens actually claim that people can bicycle here, yes if they are local but not if they are coming en mass from eg Croydon!), if there are decent alternatives. However, who wants to pay for four or more to take a lousy train service to Brighton when the easiest option ought to be to drive to the seafront?

Given that no one in their right mid will pay £20, and given that taking the train only works if you are on the main London to Brighton line and don't mind paying £25 per head or more, the council have effectively cut the financial lifeblood of the sea front.

Well done lads!

Greedy, naive fuckwits!

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The Health and Safety Racket - An Inspector Calls

As loyal readers know, Nanny's health and safety obsession negatively impacts many of us. However, every cloud has a silver lining, there are some who do rather well out Nanny's health and safety obsession.

Step forward the inspectors from the Health and Safety Inspectorate, who this year will charge up to £256 per hour to tell companies what they are doing wrong wrt health and safety. These charges are not called "charges" by the HSE, but are referred to by the innocuous phrases "cost recovery scheme" and "fee for intervention scheme" (didn't wee Gordon Brown use a similar verbal sleight of hand to refer to spending as "investment"?).

The charges, from £133 per hour for normal investigations up to £256 for “specialist work”, will be levied from the moment that "a rule infringement" is detected.

Ker Farking Ching!

Now those of you who have even half an ounce of common sense can see a wee bit of a problem here, wrt "conflict of interest". Clearly if the Inspectorate is paid by the hour, it is in the Inspectorate's interest to increase its workload and find fault with every little thing.

Am I right, or am I wrong?

Anyhoo the HSE, facing a rightly deserved backlash over these rip off fees, have delayed the implementation of the new regime from April until October 2012.

Seemingly the official reason for the delay is to discuss "technical aspects of the scheme”.

Gordon MacDonald, HSE's programme director, said:

The PalArse of Westminster

I have launched a new site "The PalArse of Westminster", which exposes the hypocrisy and greed of our "respected" elected political "elite".


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Booze Matters - Minimum Price For Booze

Cameron, despite opposition from within his own cabinet (Lansley describes the plan as "absurd"), is determined to push ahead with plans for a minimum price for booze.

He is of the view that cheap booze is responsible for a minority of the country behaving irresponsibly.

Well, coming from a member of the Palace of Westminster which serves taxpayer subsidised booze at all hours of day and night (wherein a member was recently arrested for alcohol fuelled violence) maybe he is speaking from experience.

However, statistics would indicate (contrary to what Nanny would have us believe) that, as a country, we are actually drinking less. In September 2010 the BBC reported:

"Alcohol consumption in 2009 saw the sharpest year-on-year decline since 1948, figures from the British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA) suggest.

The data showed a 6% fall in 2009 - the fourth annual drop in five years.

The association said UK drinkers were now consuming 13% less alcohol than in 2004, below the EU average.

Pubs, bars, off-licences, restaurants and supermarkets all saw alcohol sales fall, the HM Revenue and Customs data from UK producers and importers showed.

It is thought the decline may be due to the effect of the recession on spending, but could also be a sign that messages about responsible drinking have affected drinking habits.

The organisation said UK taxes on beer remained the second highest duty rate in EU - 10 times higher than in Germany and seven times higher than in France."

The alcohol fuelled violence that certain city centres see at night is down to a number of factors. However, two factors are key:

1 Certain people, no matter how little they have to drink, will behave like "animals" (my apologies to the animal kingdom); whilst the majority of us (even after an "elegant sufficiency") still manage to not smash a bottle over someone else's head or expose our arses.

2 Local councils, by allowing streets to become purely bar only ghettos, have created this problem because of their greed for licence fees etc. A mixed high street of shops, accommodation, restaurants, pubs, bars etc will attract a broad cross section of society rather than the knuckle dragging retards that swarm like flies over shit to bar only ghettos.

Minimum pricing will avail Cameron nothing.

Oh, and by the way, it's not just those who drink "Ace" lager from cans in the street that necessarily cause violent disorder; rumour has it that those overloaded on Krug etc (ie those for whom prices mean nothing) can also be a tad "boisterous"!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries