Plaster is Racist!

 

If the university really believes that it needs to explain this to its students, then I can only conclude that the current crop of students are as thick as pig shit!

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The Virtual University of Cambridge

It would seem that those who expect to have a full and fruitful university education had better avoid Cambridge, as it has set out measures for the full 2020-21 academic year, announcing that it will move all “face-to-face lectures” online for the duration. The institution added that it was “likely” social distancing would continue to be required.

The university said lectures would continue virtually until summer 2021, while it may be possible for smaller teaching groups to take place in person if it “conforms to social-distancing requirements”.

Given that primary schools (aside from those held by rebel councils) are going back next month, and secondary schools will be going back in Autumn, it beggars belief that one of Britain's leading universities (founded in 1209)  feels that it is not up to the logistical challenge of managing to hold lectures in a socially distant fashion.

Were I a student of the above body, I would demand a hefty discount on my fees!

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WTF Is a "Working Class Officer"?

I just found out that Cambridge Uni Labour Club has a 'Working Class Officer' and I'm all cringed out for the week.

— Matt Cooper (@MattCooper_) August 12, 2019

1 What is it?

2 Why does the club need one?

3 I thought everyone was middle class these days (according to Blair when he was PM)?



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Prats of The Week - Pembroke JCR

It has been a wee while since I have awarded my prestigious and world acclaimed "Prats of The Week" Award. Thus, without further ado, I am proud to announce that this week it goes to Pembroke JCR of Cambridge University.

For why?

The learned students of Pembroke have got their knickers in a twist over the theme of a forthcoming dance (BOP). Initially it was going to be themed Around The World in 80 Days. However, for reasons that only students could come up with, the theme has been banned.

It seems that Pembroke were worried about offending ethnic minorities.

Eh?

Well you see, people would come in costume.

Still not with you?

The costumes would be from various parts of the world.

So?

Pembroke feel that cultural appropriation may be offensive. Hence, they have banned it.

Here is an extract from the University online newspaper The Tab, explaining this nonsense.

Students divided into two camps over whether the JCR is restricting their freedom of expression or preventing offence towards ethnic minorities

Pembroke JCR decided to change the theme from “Around the World in 80 Days” due to a fear of the “potential for offense” [sic].
In an email sent to Pembroke students earlier this week, the Junior Parlour Committee said a lengthy debate preceded the decision to change the theme of the bop.

Yet again students are displaying all the traits that university is meant to knock out of people, namely:

1 Ignorance
2 Narrow mindedness
3 Arrogance
4 Intolerance
5 Dictatorial tendencies, and
6 Lousy spelling......"offence" is not spelt "offense".

I dread the day when these embryonic dictators assume roles of power and influence in the world.

Pembroke JCR, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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The McDonald's Breathalyser

It seems that McDonald’s is so worried about the health etc of its customers, that it is considering breathalysing customers who want to use the fast food outlet in Rose Crescent Cambridge.

Security staff at Rose Crescent are being given testing kits by police that will detect whether anyone is over twice the drink-drive limit. Police stressed that the test would not be a “requirement of entry” for everyone, but could help employees turn violent or aggressive people away.

Joseph Keegan, from Cambridgeshire County Council ‘s alcohol action team, told the Independent that they were trying to stop people “putting their health at risk”.

He said every person turned away from a venue would be offered a card with information about risks and cutting down on alcohol abuse.

It is ironic that people who are allegedly "drunk" will be denied food, given that (as far as I understand it) "experts" always recommend that you eat something when drinking (so as to soak up the booze).

It is also ironic, on election day, that whilst a fast food outlet ponders allowing people in to buy a burger that people are allowed to vote when drunk/stoned!

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Knobheads of The Year - Cambridgeshire County Council

Congratulations to Cambridgeshire County Council for voting themselves "Knobheads of The Year".

How did they achieve this magnificent award?

Simples!

Despite protests outside Shire Hall, Cambridgeshire County councillors voted themselves a 25% pay rise.

What??

Even though we are in the middle of a recession, and facing years of austerity?

How could they possibly be so insensitive, arrogant and selfish?

Simples!

According to a review panel councillors were ‘undervalued’, on their existing allowances, and a rise to £9,500 was needed to allow ‘local democracy to prosper’.

Pass the sick bag someone!

Council Leader Nick Clarke does very nicely out of the deal. His pay rises from £29,246 to £38,000.

Remember folks, the more money councillors get the more "local democracy prospers!"

Councils are the enemies of the people, and Cambridgeshire County Council are Knobheads of The Year!

BTW, they are Tories!



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Social Engineering

Nanny Cameron and Clegg are giving Oxbridge a hard time at the moment.

Their gripe being that not enough poor and ethnic minority pupils are being given the opportunity to study there and at other top universities.

This is somewhat ironic given that they are both from privileged backgrounds, and that they both went to Oxbridge.

When will Nanny learn that social engineering does not work, and that it invariably makes things worse?

Like it or not, educashun (beyond the 3 "R's") is a privilege not a right.

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Booze Matters - Tesco

I see that Tesco are having a wee bit of trouble in applying for a licence to sell booze from their store in East Road Cambridge (between 11am-11pm).

The local police, and certain councillors, fear that "cheap" booze sold so near a school and "Jimmy's Night Shelter" could lead to a rise in alcohol related crime.

Errmmm...two points:

1 Supermarkets have rather tedious rules about selling booze to anyone who looks remotely under the age of 25 (unless they can produce an id). How likely is it that the store will sell it to the kids?

2 Does Cambridge not already have supermarkets, off licenses and pubs that sell booze? I seem to recall that it is full of them (indeed the local students are well known for imbibing in "Brideshead Revisited" quantities...yes, I know that was set in Oxford!).

It seems rather prissy to me for some people to be objecting to Tesco selling booze.

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Educashun

Full marks to Nanny's educashun system for producing literacy levels such as those exhibited by the hapless sign writer, who painted the "guided busway" sign on the St Ives to Cambridge road the other day.

A workman, working for the contractor, painting white Guided Bus Only signs in the road has written the "N" back to front.

A Cambridgeshire County Council spokesman said the contractor was "already aware of this mistake and will be putting it right".

Snort!

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Nanny's Early Morning Call - Cambridge Council's Gestapo Tactics

I have to say that were this story to have appeared only in the tabloid press, then I would have dismissed it as nonsense; it is something that quite frankly should be unbelievable, given that we live in a country that is meant to be a democracy. However, it has also appeared in the broadsheets, therefore I will work on the assumption that it is true.

Thomas Catcheside, a 67 year old who lives in Cambridge, received a Gestapo style dawn raid at his home at 5.35AM from the police.

He was frog marched to his bedroom, where his wife was still sleeping, and ordered to get changed before being driven away in a cage in a police van.

Mr Catcheside was then held in a windowless cell for six hours, had his fingerprints and a DNA swab taken, before being issued with an £80 fixed penalty notice and released.

What was his crime?

Terrorism?

No!

Murder?

No!

He had sworn at a council official six days earlier.

Yes, you did read that correctly!

The swearing incident had been the culmination of a 3 year dispute with the council, he is the chairman of the local residents group, over slippery stairs in his council block.

Mr Catcheside has been campaigning for safety improvements to the internal flight of stairs. However, when a council official visiting the site stopped him from following him downstairs to listen to a phone call to his supervisor on October 30, he lost his temper and swore.

The Telegraph quotes him:

"Don't you tell me what I can and can't do in my own fucking place."

He was arrested 6 days later on suspicion of "causing harassment, alarm or distress in a public place".

The experience so shocked Mr Catcheside that he had a panic attack in police custody, and had to be seen by a police doctor.

Cambridgeshire police claim that they had been following "national policy".

Is it now national policy to barge into people's homes at 5:30AM, and arrest them for not kowtowing to their local councils?

Seemingly it is!

The police will have us believe that they were "responding to reports of an assault, which is a serious offence."

Since when was swearing an assault?

Why arrest a man for swearing, when a simple word in his ear might have resolved the issue?

Why did the council report this trivial issue?

Oh, and here's the killer point, the police then went on to say:

"There was not enough evidence to suggest he had committed an assault but he admitted to being abusive and was issued with a fine and words of advice about his behaviour."

NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE!

Why did the police arrest him in the first place, if there was not enough evidence?

Who are the police working for these days, the people or the politicians?

It seems to me that Mr Catcheside should sue the police for wrongful arrest, and make sure that the council and local political party that "runs" the council suffers extreme humiliation and long term political defeat.

The police, by the way, also added:

"National policy states anyone arrested will have a sample of their DNA taken."

Pathetic!

BTW, you may be wondering why the Gestapo (sorry, "police") raided his home at 5:30AM. Seemingly it was the only "convenient time".

Well, that's alright then!

A bare faced lie if ever I have heard one, they simply could have chosen another day when their officers were not busy hunting down murderers, robbers, muggers etc.

Do you all recall, my loyal readers, that the Telegraph recently said that I had "lost all sense of proportion" when I used the word ZaNuLabour?

Tell me, now that we have dawn Gestapo raids at the behest of our "respected" local councils, have I really "lost all sense of proportion"?

OK, to be fair, Cambridge is in fact a Liberal Democrat council (it is hardly "liberal" or "democratic" employing Gestapo tactics like this!).

Councils and police should not be colluding to arrest people, they most certainly should not be practising Gestapo tactics.

Here is the council's email enquiries@cambridge.gov.uk.

The state has become the enemy of the people, politicians and their organs of state should be ignored and resisted at every opportunity.

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A Nation of Brain Dead Numpties

As I have often stated on this site, living in the Nanny state (where everything is spoon fed to you, people are obliged to follow petty rules and procedures and we are discouraged from thinking for themselves) rots the brain.

Hey ho...and here we have proof, if it were ever needed, that the Nanny state really does rot the brain.

Jaz Bhogal, 15, found this to his cost the other day when he went to his local 99p store at Wisbech Cambridgeshire to buy some wine gums.

Can you guess what happened next loyal readers?

Yes, that's right, the shop assistant refused to sell them to him because Jaz was under 18.

Factoid: wine gums do not contain alcohol.

A cursory glance at the list of ingredients of said packet could have verified that, not to mention the fact that most people with half a brain know that.

However, living in the Nanny state rots the brain and the fact that the word "wine" was in the label ensured that an automatic "you're underage" mindset kicked in.

Not surprisingly the store owners have realised that they look like numpties and have apologised. Seemingly there was a "glitch" in the electronic till which flagged the product as "booze".

So that's alright then?

No it's not, because commonsense should have told the shop assistant that the till was wrong!

As noted, we have become a nation of brain dead numpties thanks to Nanny.

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Two Questions

Drunk or not, how do you "fall" through a 12 inch opening in window?

Why has she taken 4 years to lodge this claim?

"A public school is being sued by a former pupil who was permanently disabled following a drunken fall from a window.

Amy St Johnston was a 16-year-old pupil at Oundle School when she got drunk at a Valentine’s Day ball and fell 15ft from her first-floor window. Miss St Johnston, now a 20-year-old classics student at Selwyn College, Cambridge, claims that the incident happened because of a “drinking culture” among students at the school. She is reported to be demanding £300,000 in damages.

Miss St Johnston now sufferers from partial paraplegia, which can lead to limb paralysis, and walks with the aid of crutches.

Her writ alleges that the window she fell from opened to 12 inches, three times the legal maximum. Documents lodged at the High Court say that Oundle was in loco parentis, and accuse the school of failing in its duty of care by leaving Miss St Johnston in the room while it was “known she was under the influence of alcohol”.

The accident took place in February 2005 when Miss St Johnston was in the lower sixth of the mixed £22,800-a-year school near Peterborough, Cambridgeshire.

She says that before the ball she had consumed “a combination of alcoholic drinks” over several hours. When teachers noticed that she was walking unsteadily, she was sent to “cool off”, but the writ alleges that she then returned to the ball.

Staff later confirmed that she had been drinking and took her back to her room. Left there, the writ says, she “leaned so far out the window that she fell out”.

After the accident, Miss St Johnson left the school to continue her sixth-form studies elsewhere.

Miss St Johnson refused to discuss the case yesterday. “I don’t really want to talk about it, I don’t think I should — partly because of legal reasons but also because it’s just not something I want to discuss,” she told the Daily Mail.

A spokeswoman for Oundle confirmed that a writ had been served on the school but said she could not comment further. “The matter is being dealt with by the school’s legal advisers,” she said.

Oundle’s rules state that sixth formers can drink beer, cider and wine at officially permitted social events where a “substantial meal” is served.

The writ says that since 1969 the British Standard Code of Practice has recommended that limiters be fitted on windows above ground level, restricting opening to less than 4 inches. The 1998 edition of Building Regulations also required such windows to be fitted with limiters or safety guards to prevent falls. "

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Nanny's Tree Hugging Tendancies

It would seem that the good councillors of Cambridge City care more about trees than children.

The council want to ban nursery children (aged 2-4) from playing under a 30 year old cedar, to safeguard the tree from damage.

Cambridge City Council prepared a report into the health of the tree at the Under Fives Roundabout Pre-School in Cambridge. The report concluded that the tree will suffer if the ground is "poached and compacted" by "constant activity" which could stop water reaching the roots.

The report says:

"Ideally, the children would not be able to play beneath the tree."

How heavy can a bunch of 2-4 year olds really be?

Here's a radical thought, if the tree really does end up being damaged (highly unlikely I think), why not just plant a new one somewhere else?

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Prats of The Week - The £500K Sound Barrier

Goodness me, it seems to have been yonks since I awarded my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award. Time, methinks, to make another award.

This week it goes to another one of our "respected" local councils, South Cambridgeshire District Council.

For why?

They intend to spend £500K of taxpayers' money on erecting a noise barrier beside a dual carriageway.

To reduce the noise of the traffic for the local residents?

Ermmm.....NO!

The council received a complaint from a group of 50 travellers about the sound of passing vehicles and abuse from motorists.

The travellers, who oddly enough have set up camp (how can they be called "travellers" if they are staying in one place?) claim that their lives are being made a misery by the constant rumble of traffic, and that they are being victimised by lorry drivers who beep their horns, flash their lights and shout obscenities.

The sound barriers would be installed on the A14 near Milton in Cambridgeshire.

Nick Wright, the councillor responsible for planning, said:

"It's such a noisy place to live. When you go down there it's almost a job just to have a conversation.

Obviously their homes don't have any double glazing or sound proofing."

Aren't there more pressing projects etc that the £500K could be spent on (especially given that we are in a recession)?

Do the "travellers" pay council tax?

Why can't they simply travel elsewhere, to a less noisy site?

South Cambridgeshire District Council, well deserving Prats of The Week.

By the way, South Cambridgeshire District Council, is of course a Tory run council.

You know the format by now folks, drop Cameron a line telling him your views of the Tory party. Use this link: Cameron

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RIPA - Not Dead Yet

It seems that earlier reports of the demise of the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (RIPA) being used by our "respected" (lets be frank, I mean "loathed") local councils to spy on us were somewhat premature.

Nanny's Gestapo from Cambridgeshire County Council have used RIPA to spy on eight paperboys thought to be working without permits.

Council spies were sent undercover to spy on the local Spar shop in the village of Melbourn, and take notes on the movements of the boys.

For why?

The council used the evidence gathered to prosecute the shop's owners for employing five of the boys (all over 13 years old) without the correct documentation.

In Cambridgeshire it is against the law to employ children without a series of forms being filled in, the owners of the shop made an administrative mistake and did not complete all the necessary documentation.

Why so much paperwork?

It seems that Nanny believes that carrying newspapers presents a health and safety risk, also working before 7AM is verboten.

Gosh, 7AM...yes that is early isn't it?

Heaven forefend that anyone has to work at that ungodly hour!

The owners of the shop have been given a six-month conditional discharge.

No doubt the citizens of Cambridgeshire feel safer in their beds knowing that RIPA is being used to protect them from the terrorist threat of paperboys working without permits.

A truly loathsome use of RIPA. The councillors should be thoroughly ashamed of themselves.

By the way, can you guess which party runs Cambridgeshire?

Yes, that's right, yet again it's the Tories!

You know the format by now, tell Cameron he will lose the next election if he doesn't show that he intends to draw back the frontiers of the state and get control of his local councils.

Use this link: Cameron

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Nanny Bans Latin

Nanny's thought police in certain local councils have donned their jackboots again, and are trying to ban certain "elitist" words from being used.

Nanny has taken exception to the use of Latin words, in her view they are elitist and discriminatory (ie her lousy educashun system has failed to provide people with enough wit and brains to look the words up, or know what they mean). As such Nanny has banned her employees from using them, and wants them to use much longer phrases (in English) instead.

Isn't funny how dead headed bureaucrats feel the need to use more words than really necessary when speaking?

Maybe they don't want us to understand what they are talking about?

Isn't that elitist as well?

Nanny's chums in Bournemouth Council, which has the Latin motto Pulchritudo et Salubritas - beauty and health -, has listed 19 terms it no longer considers acceptable for use eg:

- ad hoc
- bona fide
- status quo
- vice versa
- via

Clearly Nanny regards us being highly ignorant if she believes that we cannot grasp what the above words actually mean (especially when used in context), or could it be that her educashun system is now in fact turning out ignoramuses?

The alternatives proposed by Nanny are of course much more complex and cumbersome:

- 'for this special purpose' in place of ad hoc
- 'existing condition' or 'state of things' instead of status quo

As Mary Beard, a Cambridge professor of classics, said:

"This is absolutely bonkers and the linguistic equivalent of ethnic cleansing.

English is and always has been a language full of foreign words. It has never been an ethnically pure language."

Salisbury council has asked staff to avoid the phrases ad hoc, ergo and QED (quod erat demonstrandum), and Fife has banned ad hoc as well as ex officio.

We have become a nation of illiterates!

When you don't know the meaning of a word, use a dictionary to look it up!

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The Dangers of Crabs - Ooh Er Missus!

I am not entirely sure as to whether this is an example of Nannyism, or just well intentioned kind hearted people giving Nanny an opportunity to make mischief.

I refer to the plan by some zoology students from Cambridge to try to impose a code of conduct on the summer sport of crabbing, in an attempt to end cruelty to the creatures.

They plan to leaflet ten thousand holidaymakers at the Norfolk resort of Wells-next-the-Sea (did you know it is the crabbing capital of Britain?), advising them on how to crab responsibly. Their principal rule is that no more than ten crabs should be placed in a single bucket.

Seemingly excess crowds of crabs can cause fights, which can lead to the loss of limbs.

Crabs in Wells have traditionally enjoyed a relationship with the children who come to bait, capture and imprison them for a few hours in a plastic bucket. The fishing lines of the children are baited with bacon or whelk.

Local fishermen estimate that the average Wells crab is caught and released several times a day.

I see that the students have a kind heart, and it will be good for the kids to learn a bit about marine life in this way; but I can't help feeling that Nanny will somehow or other try to get involved now.


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Gutless

On the 18th of May the Freedom of Information (Amendment) Bill passed through the commons.

The Bill will remove Parliament from the scope of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), and create a new exemption for MPs' communications with public authorities. It has been explained as a measure that would protect the privacy of MPs' constituents.

In a letter to MPs, the Campaign for Freedom of Information has said that it believes that the bill is unnecessary for this purpose.

Correspondence sent by an MP to a public authority, on behalf of a constituent, is already exempt under the FOI Act's existing exemptions. Moreover, the Campaign says this does not explain why it is proposed to remove Parliament itself (which does not hold MPs' correspondence) from the FOI Act's scope.

On the 18th there was an opportunity, via filibuster, to talk the bill down and to wreck it. Unfortunately, aside from those MP's with the guts to at least openly support the bill, there were those MP's who were gutless and chose to hide their true views from the voters by not voting in the third motion.

These gutless MPs voted for the closure motion, but then didn't vote in the Third Reading. Just 16 minutes later.

This means that they supported the Bill, as they did not join in the attempt to filibuster. However, they were gutless and chose not to put on record that they supported it in the Third Reading division itself.

Here are the names of the gutless MPs:

-Christopher Chope, Christchurch (Con)
-Jonathan Djanogly, Huntingdon (Con)
-Stephen Hammond, Wimbledon (Con)
-Nick Hurd, Ruislip - Northwood (Con)
-Eleanor Laing, Epping Forest (Con)
-Shailesh Vara, North West Cambridgeshire (Con)

-Edward Balls, Normanton (Lab, minister)
-Ian Cawsey, Brigg & Goole (Lab, minister)
-Paul Clark, Gillingham (Lab (PPS))
-Vernon Coaker, Gedling (Lab, minister)
-Barry Gardiner, Brent North (Lab, minister)
-Roger Godsiff, Birmingham, Sparkbrook & Small Heath (Lab)
-Mike O'Brien, North Warwickshire (Lab, minister)
-Bridget Prentice, Lewisham East (Lab, minister)
-Joan Ruddock, Lewisham, Deptford (Lab)
-Barry Sheerman, Huddersfield (Lab)
-Jacqui Smith, Redditch (Lab, minister)
-Gerry Sutcliffe, Bradford South (Lab, minister)

Feel free to write to them, and tell them what you think of their gutless behaviour.

Those who stand for public office should have the courage of their convictions, even if they are wrong, to state them publicly.

The gutless ones above should be removed from office without delay.

Scroll down the menu bar on the right and look for the blue box "Fax Your MP", you can use this to write to them.

Nanny Bans Granny

It seems that not only does Nanny hate teenagers, but she also hates the elderly.

That at least is the experience of Betty Wilbraham, an 82 year old grandmother, who was going for a quiet drink in her local pub - the Hereward in Ely Cambridgeshire.

Betty, as per the custom of a lady brought up in a more genteel age, wears a hat when she goes out. Unfortunately the Hereward has imposed a "No Hats" policy, in order to allow their CCTV system to identify trouble making scumbags.

Now this policy, if applied in a sensible manner, is perfectly reasonable; there are trouble making scumbags who use hoodies and hats to hide from the camera. It is not unreasonable for the pub to ask "likely looking lads" to reveal their acne and pox ridden faces, lest they start to "kick off".

Unfortunately we live in the age of Nanny, where the state has taken responsibility for every aspect of our lives.

The result?

We no longer take responsibility for any aspect of our lives, and we have stopped thinking and using our common sense.

Needless to say Betty's hat caused the jobsworth morons running the pub some form of seizure, they asked her to remove it for security reasons.

The staff were of the opinion that there was a risk she would not be recognised on CCTV cameras if she started any trouble.

I would point out that the hat had maroon ribbons, I am sure that she could have been tracked down by our ever resourceful boys in blue in the event of her "kicking off"; after all if they have the nonce to record the Attorney General on the phone, then they certainly can track down an 82 year old.

Betty, towering above many at just over 5 foot, is none too impressed with the pub and vented her spleen:

"It is ludicrous to think that a little old lady like me could cause trouble in a pub.

I don't consider myself a threatening person.

It just shows the ridiculous nature of some of these rules and regulations.

Everyone is obsessed with security these days.

The girl told me that the pub was a hatless zone.

I did what she said because I did not want to make a fuss and I don't like to disobey orders.

I'm a hat person.

If I am going out to lunch I always wear a hat.

My mother wouldn't have set a foot outside the house for a loaf of bread without her hat.

She would have been horrified if ladies went to lunch without their hats."

Tony Love, the manager and evident lackey of the Nanny state, said:

"We put up the new signs

because we were finding it difficult classing what was a cap.

All customers and staff are treated the same.

In this day and age you don't know who are the troublemakers.

It is pointless having CCTV to protect people if those who cause trouble hide their faces.

I do understand Mrs Wilbraham's point of view but it is for her protection as much as anything else."

Love has clearly fallen under the dubious spell of Nanny, he misses the essential truth that is vital to the harmonious interaction of a mature and vibrant society; namely that people should apply common sense and use their judgement when interacting with people.

Relying on the state to act as arbiter will simply turn us into a nation of mindless automatons, destined to decay and wallow in our own filth as we wait for Nanny to wipe our bottoms.

Nanny On Speed II

It seems that the recent post about Nanny getting tough with speeding has over stimulated some you!

Therefore, in the interests of keeping the discussion on speeding going, here is another Nanny speeding story; this time though she gets hoisted by her own petard.

Sergeant Ted Bloodworth, of Bedfordshire Police, was clocked speeding in one of his force's mobile offices. He was photographed in the specially adapted van, as he passed through a 40mph roadworks zone in neighbouring Cambridgeshire.

Under his force's policy, he can appeal to his commander; saying there was a legitimate reason, or face court proceedings.

The lesson here is, if you are going to speed, don't use a mobile office.