Nanny Hates Fags

The House of Lords has voted in favour of banning people from smoking in cars that contain children. The legislative amendments will be debated by the House of Commons next month, when MPs will be given a free vote on the matter.

Whilst this may be all very well and dandy for those who believe that single inhalation of someone else's smoke poses a threat to life and limb, it may not be such a good thing at all for everyone else.

In the event the legislation is passed, it grants the state the right to dictate what happens in a person's private space (a car's interior being such a space). Once the state has assumed that right, it will take the next logical step and seek to ban smoking in homes which have children.

It is not the state's role to act as parent to people's children.

I would also note that the fumes and gunk exuded by cars, lorries, buses and planes do far more damage to our lungs and health than the puffs of smoke from a third party's cigarette.

Meanwhile in other news I see that Sellafield (Windscale to those of us who are greying around the temples) is experiencing some "issues" today; don't worry though, they say it's perfectly safe!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Knobs

My thanks to a loyal Canadian reader, who alerted me to the recent piece of Canadian Nannyism relating to doorknobs.

Vancouver city council has decided to ban doorknobs in new builds, and only allow levers.

John Ford, then acting regional director of the Canadian Human Rights Commission, was quoted by the National Post:

“We’re not too proud of that, but we’re working on it.

A doorknob can create havoc for a person with limited use of their hands.”

Now whilst I can see the good intentions in all of this, is it not up to individuals to determine what best suits their needs and aesthetic desires (knobs vs levers)?

The council admits that they have had responses from some, saying that levers are no more helpful than knobs.


Is this Nannyism, or simply practical commonsense?

Can people not replace knobs with whatever they wish, as and when they move in?

Does the state need to make the decision for them?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Helmetless Advert

I am gemused to see that our old chums from Nanny's Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) have banned a television advert promoting safe cycling.

Eh?

For why?

The advert showed that most heinous of things, a rider without a helmet!

The advert, part of a campaign by Cycling Scotland, is trying to encourage drivers to give cyclists the same space and care as they would give a horse.

Yet ASA say that the advert showing a helmetless cyclist was "socially irresponsible".

Please note the phrase "socially irresponsible", that is not the same as "illegal"; for your see ladies and gentlemen Cycling Scotland have stated that wearing a helmet was not a legal requirement. In fact wearing a helmet is a personal choice for the individual (a fact reflected in the advert with footage of various cyclists both with, and without, helmets).

Evidently ASA, as is typical of Nanny, does not like the concept of personal choice and prefers blanket rules and regulations to force us all to do the same thing.

Incidentally, as per the BBC, Cycling Scotland also referred to its helmet policy, which discussed the possible undesired outcomes of wearing helmets, including limiting uptake of cycling and "influencing a driver's behaviour to be less careful when interacting on the road".

There's irony for you!

By the way, ASA took action after receiving complaints from a veritable avalanche of people.

How many?

Five!

Personally speaking I think the advert is rather good.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Canadian Nanny Bans Marmite

For shame, the scourge of Nannyism has reached Canada and Nanny's chums in the form of the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) have banned the sale of a smorgasbord of iconic British foods such as; Marmite, Ovaltine, Irn-Bru, Lucozade, Penguin Bars and Bovril.

For why?

They allegedly contain illegal additives!

Tony Badger, who runs Brit Foods a British specialty food store in Saskatoon, was ordered to stop selling several popular UK exports which had ingredients that did not appear on the Canadian ‘approved food list’.

He is quoted by the Telegraph:

“We've been bringing Irn-Bru in since the very beginning. 

My understanding was we were importing it legally. We've been declaring it through a customs broker and we've never had an issue until now.”

One customer, Briton Nigel Westwick, told the Star Phoenix newspaper that he "couldn't understand the insanity" of preventing Irn-Bru from entering Canada.

"For a country that allows one to buy firearms, guns, bullets, stopping a soft drink suitable for all ages seems a little ludicrous."

That of course is precisely the point, Nanny is ludicrous!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny HSBC Blocks Large Cash Withdrawals

Sadly the Nanny state extends far beyond government and local authority rules and regulations, it is also highly prevalent within the private sector.

Nanny's chums in HSBC have taken it upon themselves to prevent customers from making large sum cash withdrawals, unless the hapless customers can provide evidence of what they intend to use the money for.

Listeners have told Radio 4's Money Box they were stopped from withdrawing amounts ranging from £5,000 to £10,000.

HSBC admitted it has not informed customers of the change in policy, which was implemented in November.

Stephen Cotton went to his local HSBC branch this month to withdraw £7,000 from his instant access savings account to pay back a loan from his mother.

A year before, he had withdrawn a larger sum in cash from HSBC without a problem.

But this time it was different, as he told Money Box:

"When we presented them with the withdrawal slip, they declined to give us the money because we could not provide them with a satisfactory explanation for what the money was for. They wanted a letter from the person involved."

Mr Cotton says the staff refused to tell him how much he could have: "So I wrote out a few slips. I said, 'Can I have £5,000?' They said no. I said, 'Can I have £4,000?' They said no. And then I wrote one out for £3,000 and they said, 'OK, we'll give you that.' "

He asked if he could return later that day to withdraw another £3,000, but he was told he could not do the same thing twice in one day.

Hardly "instant access" is it?

 

He wrote to complain to HSBC about the new rules and also that he had not been informed of any change. 

The bank said it did not have to tell him. "As this was not a change to the Terms and Conditions of your bank account, we had no need to pre-notify customers of the change."

Such arrogance!

Now that this has become public, HSBC has buckled (as Nanny always does when she is exposed to ridicule and contempt) and is changing the policy:

"We ask our customers about the purpose of large cash withdrawals when they are unusual and out of keeping with the normal running of their account. Since last November, in some instances we may have also asked these customers to show us evidence of what the cash is required for.

The reason being we have an obligation to protect our customers, and to minimise the opportunity for financial crime. However, following feedback, we are immediately updating guidance to our customer facing staff to reiterate that it is not mandatory for customers to provide documentary evidence for large cash withdrawals, and on its own, failure to show evidence is not a reason to refuse a withdrawal. We are writing to apologise to any customer who has been given incorrect information and inconvenienced."

So long as the customer can prove his/her identity and so long as Nanny does not have reason to believe that the withdrawal is being made under duress, then it is not Nanny's business what the money will be used for.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Bin Brother - Thank You Brighton and Hove Council

My thanks to our local council for picking up our refuse, two days late, after we emailed them to remind them that our street had been missed by the binmen.

However, what about everyone else's refuse on our street shouldn't that have been collected as well?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

It sad to read that these days it is common practice for some organisations to assume that people are guilty until they can prove themselves innocent.

Such is the case wrt the Church of England and its attitude towards volunteer bell ringers, florists and organists.

The Telegraph recently reported that figures obtained through the Freedom of Information Act show that at least 58,000 people have been vetted by the Church in the last 12 months alone, before being allowed to work in parishes or take back office roles.

Over 80% of the checks carried out by individual dioceses were on volunteers. The checks usually used in relation to adults working with children in Sunday schools and church crèches (a target of the government’s Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS)).

However, the research also found that large numbers of volunteers with positions including organists, choir members, bell ringers, altar servers, welcome stewards and tour guides had also been subjected to criminal record checks.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, the Most Rev Justin Welby, seems to be driving the zealous approach; as he has said that the Church was being “utterly ruthless” in its approach to criminal record checks even though cases of abuse are “negligible”.

The Archbishop said that volunteers refusing checks will be told:

“You can’t come to church”.

Why do flower arrangers need to be checked?

The CofE insisted it would "make no apology for taking action to ensure our systems our as robust as possible".

An atmosphere of mistrust and suspicion hardly sounds welcoming, what will the church turn itself into if it suspects everyone of being guilty?

Just ask Annabel Hayter!


Annabel Hayter quit after more than a decade arranging the flowers at Gloucester cathedral after being ordered to undergo a criminal record check.

Despite having minimal contact with children, church authorities were concerned that the volunteer and her fellow flower-arrangers – with an average age of around 70 – shared a lavatory with choirboys.

The move – in 2010 – led to the resignation of six members of the cathedral’s flower guild.
Mrs Hayter said she had been "deeply insulted" by the demands for criminal record checks.

Mrs Hayter said:

“I had worked in that cathedral for 15 years – I’d had the clergy to dinner in my house – and I felt it was offensive to be told I’d have to go through a criminal records check.

It is an imposition that just creates suspicion and changes people’s perceptions of the church.

A DBS check is only as good as the day it is done as has been proved time and time again. What is required is awareness and vigilance by everyone. 

A DBS check gives everyone a false feeling of security and people’s guard is down.”

The church welcomes all comers, so long as they can prove their innocence.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Sherlocks

My thanks to a loyal reader who alerted me to some Nanny nonsense going on in Croydon.

It appears that the local council has a collective bee in its bonnet over Sherlock Holmes, and has banned local Holmes enthusiasts from holding an unofficial ceremony to name a South Norwood lake "Lake Conan Doyle".

The South Norwood Tourist Board had been planning to hold a pagan ceremony on February 1st. However, Tony Brooks, the council’s head of public safety, has written to the SNTB telling them the event is not allowed to go ahead because the necessary consultation has not been conducted.

He also said he could not sanction the event.

Ian Bone, SNTB associate, is defiant and was quoted by the Croydon Advertiser:

“It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. It’s probably going to be ten blokes dressed up as Sherlock Holmes in the cold next to a lake and they want to put a stop to it.

Surely they’ve got better things to be doing than this. 

This is nuts.”

Elementary my dear Bone, councils are nuts!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Fat vs Sugar

I was hugely gemused, but not at all surprised, to see in a documentary about sugar last night that low fat foods (eg yoghurt) contain tons of sugar (in order to make up for the lack of taste lost by removing the fat.

The consequences being that we actually gain more weight and are prone to diabetes. BTW the increase in diabetes will cost the health service more to treat than obesity.

Conclusion?

Reduce your sugar intake and increase your fat (not trans fats) intake (as nature intended)!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

ANA Offends Pinocchio

It seems that a Japanese airline, All Nippon Airways (ANA), has managed to upset some of its customers by screening an advert that some view as racist.

The advert, which you can watch for yourselves, shows a Japanese actor transformed into a Pinocchio lookalike. FYI in some parts of Asia Pacific, some locals refer to Westerners as "long noses".

An ANA spokeswoman is quoted by the Japan Times saying that said the carrier “has received calls from customers, mostly foreigners, complaining about the ad.”

“We apologized to each of the customers for having caused uncomfortable feelings and also thanked them for bringing up the issue.

We have passed on the issue to the section in charge of the advertisement, but as of now we have yet to decide how to deal with the commercial.”

Personally speaking the advert just looks rather cheesy.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Brighton Council Wasting Taxpayers' Money

Congratulations to the minority Green controlled council of Brighton and Hove for finding new ways of wasting council taxpayers' hard earned money.

This time the Greens have decided to spend £230K on a referendum as to whether local taxpayers want their council tax increased by a gut busting 4.75%.

At this stage the actual referendum may well be simply pie in the sky, as it needs to be voted on first by the council in February; given that the Greens are a minority administration, the plan can be scuppered by the opposition parties.

However, in the event that the referendum is held, it will be akin to asking turkeys to vote for Christmas!

I predict a resounding no vote if placed before the voters.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The End of The Cinnamon Roll As We Know It

My sympathies to the good people of Denmark, who may have enjoyed their last Christmas eating kanelsnegler (cinnamon rolls).

For why?

It seems that Euro Nanny wants to ban them, because they contain levels of coumarin (a natural toxic chemical) that exceed EU limits. Sadly the chemical is found in cassi, the cinnamon used in baking the rolls.

Quite how many Danes have died from eating kanelsnegler is not clear, I doubt it to be that many!

However, the Danish food safety agency is taking no chances, and intends to implement EU rules. The irony being that in Sweden the Swedes are ignoring the rules, and are happily munching their way through kanelbullar (which contains three times the permitted levels of cinnamon).

Hardy Christensen, the head of the Danish Baker's Association, was quoted by the Telegraph:

"It's the end of the cinnamon roll as we know it.

Cinnamon rolls are of course a traditional Danish baked product. We've been making bread and cakes with cinnamon for 200 years."

Cinnamon is used in many dishes, eg curry, will Nanny be banning that as well?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Gag On This

My sympathies to the good people of Wales who, thanks to their local councils, have forked out (via their council taxes) around £32M over the last ten years on gagging order agreements in severance deals.

The Western Mail made a series of FOI requests to Wales’ 22 local authorities, of which all but one replied. The requests revealed that 1,347 settlement agreements contained clauses which bar former employees from challenging their exits in employment tribunals or in court, or speaking out against their employers in the media. A total of 981 were agreed by Wales’ largest authority, Cardiff council, alone.

The FOI responses, which illustrate the cost of the agreements as a whole and do not detail costs of clauses specifically, also revealed more than a third involved employees who worked with children or vulnerable people.

Lee Canning, coordinator for the Taxpayers’ Alliance in Wales, said:

“Local authorities are there to serve local communities, not to gag former staff members restricting transparency.

Measures such as so-called compromise agreements demonstrate the blatant disregard these local authorities have for local taxpayers.”

Nanny hates her subjects knowing what she is up to, and really loathes it when her mistakes are made public!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Put The Elderly in Prison

Sadly there is an element of truth in the above.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Washing Machines

Congratulations to the bloke who got himself stuck naked in a washing machine (as a prank for his partner), and who had to be rescued by firemen!

Proof positive that Nanny cannot legislate/advise against "stupid"!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Global Warming - Beware The Polar Vortex

I see that one of the consequences of "global warming" is the current "Polar Vortex" that is gripping North America and Canada.

Clearly without "global warming" it would have been even colder there!

Oh, and by the way, heavy snow storms on the East coast of the USA tend to end up over here 3-4 days later.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Scousers

I see that ITV recently had an attack of Nannyitis, and decided that a comedy show’s creators should be banned from using the word “Scouser” or describing a drunk character as Australian because the terms had "racial" connotations.

Laurence Marks, the co-creator of Birds of a Feather, said it was “odd” that British broadcasters would allow four-letter tirades on air but baulked at traditional humour playing on national and regional stereotypes.

The Telegraph reported that he said he was told that it was “unacceptable” racial stereotyping to say somebody was Australian and drunk.

On another occasion, he said he and his writing partner Maurice Gran fell foul of rules prohibiting the use of the word “Scouser” to describe someone from Liverpool.

Calm down!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Ker Farking Ching - The Greed of Councils

As we greet 2014, in the hope that it will be bearable, let me congratulate Brighton and Hove council for being in the top five of councils ranked by how much money they raised via parking charges and penalty notices in 2012/13.

Brighton and Hove trousered £16.3M last year, the most of any authority outside London.

Green councillor Ian Davey, the council's lead member for transport, was quoted by The Argus:

“The council does not make a profit from parking, nor do we set out to make a surplus. 

Our policy on parking is reflected in our sustainable transport programme which aims to tackle poor air quality, keep the city moving, manage parking availability and improve road safety.”

Whatever the council may say, many of Brighton's businesses rely on tourists; if the council is too greedy wrt parking charges, they will simply visit other towns instead.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries