Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Nanny Bans Trilbys

Nanny Bans TrilbysIt seems that we have all been living in the Nanny state for so long now, that some of us are now even beginning to behave like Nanny.

That certainly would seem to be the case when looking at the behaviour of the staff at the Monument Pub in Hereford, part of the Greene King pub chain.

Colin Osborne, a trilby wearing great-grandfather, was happily going for drink there when he was ordered to remove his hat by Nanny's trolls who are working behind the bar.

His crime?

The hat obscured his face from CCTV cameras.

Pub chain Greene King has introduced the policy for security reasons. It applies to all hats and hooded tops.

Mr Osborne said:

"I was an elderly man having a non-alcoholic drink but I was told there are no exceptions."

He added:

"When I started as a journalist it used to be de-facto to have a belted coat and a trilby and in those days I had both."

"I was annoyed, I was put out and I was surprised. I couldn't understand why my poor old trilby should offend anyone."

Nanny's manager explained to him it was a pub rule, to enable CCTV cameras recording any incident in the pub to see people's faces.

Mr Osborne quite rightly noted that there is a world of difference between an elderly man and a scum bag thug.


"But on the other hand I think pubs and breweries should ask themselves who is under the hat

individuality must retain some significance

even in this nanny state in which we live

Adam Collett, marketing director at Greene King, issued this bland and contradictory statement:

"CCTV is sensible and welcomed by customers, residents and licensing authorities alike.

To make it useful we do have to ask all customers to remove their hats, but of course we have sensitivity to individual needs.

In order to remain consistent and fair

we ask all customers to observe this policy (editor's note: this sentence contradicts the previous one).

Generally this policy has been welcomed at the Monument and our customers have cooperated with us

In other words, they don't give a fuck!

The trouble with the Nanny state is that it has conditioned us to accept petty rules and regulations without question, and to apply them 100% without using common sense.

Now I own a particularly stylish fedora, I wonder what Nanny would make of that?


  1. Anonymous6:01 PM

    Good luck expecting me to remove my Akubra and stick around in that establishment. If I am not mistaken, ettiquette allows a lady to keep her head covered whilst indoors if she so wishes... though men really should uncover ;)

  2. Anonymous9:14 PM

    You know whether a rule is good or bad it seems silly to only half implement it.

    Take wigs for example. And beards. Both can easily be used to disguise ones appearance, therefore everyione whould be at least checked at the door to see if they are packing a toupee or are attached to a false beard.

    In fact any head or facial hair could be altered so all should be removed prior to entrance. May as well take a DNA sample and fingerprints at the same time and log in and out.

    Oh and clothes - great disguise, one could be a cross dressing paedophile taking an hour out of school for lunch. So I think a strip search and personal check against List 99 (or whatever it is called) would be very neighbourly of the pub and would gain great public support from the local populace.

    On an equality basis the ladies would have to have the same process applied of course, the moreso because it seems that more and more of them are becoming involved in fracas along with their more liberated drinking habits.

    The solution is obvious really. All pubs should insist on full nudity. That should stop any trouble at all I would think.

    Letter to MP anyone?

  3. Anonymous10:02 AM


    I just had an image of the beer bellied denizens of my local in the buff. That's going to take a while to forget......

  4. Anonymous10:29 AM

    Sounds like he should go and find a nice local pub serving nice warm beer. Leave the pub chains to youngsters and their alchopops.