Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Nanny Bans Balloons

Nanny Bans BalloonsGive me strength!

I have read about some stupid things that Nanny has done over the past few years, but this one ranks pretty high on the knobhead scale; especially as it has been perpetrated by Tesco.

It seems that Nanny's lickspittles in Tesco have got a phobia over balloons, or rather the latex that the balloons are made from.

In Tesco's view, the balloons present a clear and present danger to the health and safety (pass the sick bag) of children.

As such, Tesco have banned Barney Baloney (a clown) from using balloons in his in store act.

Barney Baloney twists them into animal shapes and then hands them to children. Tesco Crossgagtes Centre will have none of that, and have told him to stick to his; magic, puppets, juggling and an emu costume to keep the children amused.

Barney has not had much luck recently, as he has also had to abandon his bubble-making machine.

For why?

Seemingly there is a health and safety risk of children slipping on the floor, and our good old blood sucking chums in the insurance industry have refused him public liability insurance.

There you have it again, public liability insurance being used as the weapon of choice by Nanny as she stamps out every little pleasure that we have.

Back to the balloon issue, a Tesco spokesman said:

"This is a health and safety issue

(the sound that you hear is me retching!)

We have banned balloons because latex

is used in the manufacture of them and this

can trigger an allergic reaction in some children.

We always have the welfare of children at heart

What a load of old bollocks, if they really had the welfare of children at heart they wouldn't sell half the sugar laden shit that is so temptingly placed at child's eye level near the checkout.

This is just another example of corporate cowardice, whereby instead of using common sense the easiest option has been chosen; namely banning something.

Precisely how many children have died in the last year or so from touching balloons?

Are we now breeding such a feeble bunch of sprogs that they really cannot touch or eat anything?

Exposing these weaklings to the things that they claim harm them will do them a power of good.

On the subject of Tesco, well I suggest that you boycott them and shop elsewhere.

Feel free to drop them a note via these links:
-Competition Commission


  1. Anonymous1:18 PM


    They are all the same.

    A label on a jar of Tesco Wholegrain Mustard has an allergy warning that the jar contains mustard.

    Go to ASDA and the egg packaging warns that eggs contain egg.

    Tesco sell party balloons - presumably not containing latex?

    I have a small bag of them which went unused recently. No danger warning - a child could choke on them! Descriptions of content (as if it was not obvious)in several different Eastern European Languages.

    Made in China - should I be worried that they may contain lead or magnets?

    Maybe all supermarket deli counters should be forced to display signs and use labels to warn people that what they are buying may contain e-coli?


  2. Anonymous2:33 PM

    Busting ballons may cause serious impairment to mental facilities in Tesco management departments.....

  3. Anonymous4:12 PM

    "On the subject of Tesco, well I suggest that you boycott them and shop elsewhere."

    I already do!

  4. This is the same Tesco whose fresh pineapples are 'Suitable for vegetarians' ?

    It's funny though how all of a sudden kids are likely to die touching balloons and most other things as well. I spent thirteen years at school and not once did I hear of a fellow pupil snuffing it from a balloon allergy (or nut allergy, puppy allergy, plastic allergy...). In fact I don't think I knew anyone with an allergy apart from "I must be allergic to school mum. I'll have to stay home and eat custard creams to make me better!"

  5. Anonymous10:35 AM

    ''Tesco Corssgagtes Centre''

    Good God! The man's pissed at the keyboard!

    Nice one Ken!

    I assume you mean 'Tesco Crossgates Centre' in Leeds.

    I am going round right now with a bagful of helium-filled latex balloons and let them go inside the store and watch the poor luvvies scatter from this highly dangerous aerial hazard to their wellbeing, whilst panic-stricken management frantically hit 999 and get the Doomwatch clearup merchants in to isolate the surrounding area for the next thousand years or whatever the half-life of a latex balloon is. Do you know they sell condoms in Tesco (Crossgates)??? I believe they are also made of some sort of reprehensible life-threatening material. I can see a rise in the local birthrate looming on the horizon.

    ;o) skydog

  6. Ooops!

    Well spotted Skydog:)

  7. Anonymous2:47 PM

    What Ken? That your spelling is up the creek or that you're pissed well before the sun was over the yardarm?

    I wish I had a drink problem like yours but I can't afford it! o|--) skydog.


  8. Anonymous8:25 PM

    I do understand what you are saying, but being the mum of an 11 year old boy who has a severe nut allergy I need all the help I can get. Virtually everything I pick up "may contain nuts" and it is so difficult to watch him upset everytime he goes to a party and can't eat (other than what I've packed him) and can't go into a sweet shop because all cadbury's chocolate may contain nuts. He nearly died 2 months ago because his school gave him a biscuit as a reward for being good, knowing that he was allergic, I nearly lost my only son through negligence. A lesson that has taught both of us to read every label before eating. I know to some this might seem NOT MY PROBLEM, but considering it is estimated that 1 in 100 children now have a nut allergy due to over processing of foods by food manufacturers and many adults developing nut allergies in later life it may eventually affect many more people.

    Latex allergies although much rarer may seem ridiculous, but in this day and age where pollution is rife and we are becoming allergic to packaging as well as everything else sometimes these measures can help someone.

    I used to think the same as you, but now I am experiencing this problem I can understand some of the more obscure allergies that literally blight lives, you can't eat out, you can't eat at other peoples houses, and you can only eat in your own house after checking and double checking evertime you go shopping.

    A teenage girl died last week from an anphlyatic attack caused by a brand of toothpaste, this could have been from the packaging which had recently been changed or even from the toothpaste itself! So something so normal can kill and parents in these situations do need good advice.

    Sorry am not personally attacking you but sometimes I feel very strongly that people do not understand fully how difficult this is.

    Kind regards

  9. The most stupid thing I have heard! I love this quote......

    Maybe all supermarket deli counters should be forced to display signs and use labels to warn people that what they are buying may contain e-coli? Well said Grant!

  10. Anonymous11:20 PM

    Hey, balloons are fun!

    Water balloons ... birthday balloons ... who wouldn't love them?

    Now imagine you're a landlord ... you rent a house to a family and give them an immaculate yard. When they move out ... *YOU* get to clean up all of the *LATEX* balloons that the kids had such fun with ...

    So .. I'm with Tesco ... ban the damn things and switch to something with less potential for allergic reactions and with a shorter half-life.

    1. Anonymous9:17 AM

      Now THAT is common sense!

  11. Anonymous9:16 AM

    What a typical trouble making, shit stirring article from someone who is uninformed and just wants to shout off their soap box in a self publicising and obnoxious manner to stir up the great unwashed.
    Instead of spouting rubbish why not find out WHY Tesco put this policy in place? Find out WHY latex is a hazard in the environment? Find out what a reaction can do to someone?
    But you won't do that because then you would be shown up to be the ignorant loud mouth you obviously are.