Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekGoodness me, it has been a wee while since I have awarded my prestigious and world renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

Therefore, without any further ado, I am pleased to be able to award St Pancras Station (the bar to be precise) my "Prats of The Week" award.

For why?

They banned the use of one solitary birthday candle on a birthday cake, lest it pose a health and safety hazard!

Michael Leventhal wanted to celebrate his lady friend's birthday a couple of months ago at the bar, which is the longest champagne bar in Europe.

He therefore booked the bar, and e-mailed a request for help in arranging a birthday surprise.

Mr Leventhal asked whether he could bring a candle (a massive 4 incher!) and have it placed on a cake, brought to the bar and presented to his companion when she was not expecting it.

Guess what happened next?

Mr Leventhal was told that a full risk assessment of children's candle would have to be made, before it could be allowed on the premises.

Pass the sick bag someone!

Who allowed these petty minded twats to dictate to us in this manner?

I recall the Hitchhicker's Guide to The Galaxy, where Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent end up on spaceship carrying an assortment of risk assessment "experts" and their ilk, who had been thrwon off their own planet because they were a pain in the derriere.

Oh how I wish......

However, I digress, it seems that no one at St Pancrearse station was prepared to go out on limb for this "highly dangerous" request, until a senior official signed off on it.

An e-mail from Raymond Lay, the bar's events manager, said:

"I have asked the station operations if we would be allowed to have a lit candle at the champagne bar for a birthday cake and they have said that we will have to submit a risk assessment form stating what the risk will be to the bar and the station, and what we will put in place to combat any possible risks.

The risk assessment form will then be put to Mike Page (head of station operations).

Unfortunately Mike Page will not be back from holiday . . . so the champagne bar would not be able to let you light the candle for your friend's birthday cake

St Pancrearse station is standing by its guns, and have stated that there is a danger from naked flames so a risk assessment was required. If permission had been granted, a spokesman said, a fire extinguisher would have had to be on stand-by in case the candle burnt out of control.

I am very glad that these people were not around when man first invented fire, can you imagine the discussion that would have taken place then?

"What is it?"

"It's fire"

"What does it do?"

"It burns things"

"Sorry mate, that's a fire hazard; it's more than my job's worth."

etc etc...

St Pancrearse station was built at the time of steam, when fire was used to heat the water in the engines.

Yet it survived that!

It also survived the bombing during the last war.

Now it seems that one 4 inch candle threatens the entire infrastructure, what the hell have they built the new station with?


Would not a glass of water been enough to extinguish the conflagration of a 4 inch candle?

St Pancrearse station, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Let them know that they have won via this form St Pancrearse.

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  1. Anonymous9:48 AM

    Elf'n'safety.....Part of the plan to turn us into a nation of scaredy cats.....The state of our country was illustrated recently in the Channel 4 documentary,"Cotton wool kids" this summed it up perfectly.

    Remember, a frightened population is easier to control.

  2. Anonymous10:30 AM

    "a spokesman said, a fire extinguisher would have had to be on stand-by in case the candle burnt out of control"

    Excuse me, but I'm missing something here. A public bar doesn't already have fire extinguishers in the off chance scenario that something unexpected (like a spontaneous fire) happens?

    Shut'em down now! They don't deserve to host the party or even have people allowed inside.

  3. Anonymous10:59 AM

    Anon 10:30 AM said:

    "Excuse me, but I'm missing something here. A public bar doesn't already have fire extinguishers in the off chance scenario that something unexpected (like a spontaneous fire) happens?"

    Fire extinguishers, as related by the recent bans on them in council owned blocks of flats, are themselves a Health and Safety risk. And be realistic, would you want any extinguishers around in a place that presumably is designed to attract Hooray Henry's and encourage them to partake of what is on offer? I think not.

    As for the candle, good heavens above, do you not realise just how polluting and life threatening just one candle can be - especially a 4 incher? Remember that when people lived by candle light life expectancy was about half what we demand as a minimum today. Need I write more?

    Still, if a 4 inch candle was to be used I would imagine that one could make a battery powered version that, though not pollution free of course, would be less of a risk to life and limb. (except for the country in which the expired battery is dumped later, but they probably don't have any H&S laws so that would be OK.)

    So, Ken, another product opportunity to add to your e-store.


  4. Anonymous11:07 AM

    Oh er missus Nanny, a glass of water could have been on hand to put out his 4 incher if it got out of control. Assumes best Kenneth WIlliams voice- "Oh nanny no, I couldn't possibly."

  5. Anonymous5:05 PM

    A thought suddenly occured to me.

    As we are embalmed in terrorists these days and the 4 inch candle does seem a bit excessive for a cake, this bloke could in fact be a terrorist planning to bring havoc to the poor people frequenting this new and very important facility at a major international travel hub. The candle might, for example, have been made of Semtex or something similar.

    We must all be on out guard ...

    Maybe he should try the T5 people, they might be grateful for the excuse to start again.


  6. A glass of water to extinguish the flame?

    Just how much water would be in the glass exactly? You are aware perhaps just how dangerous water can be, that its possible to drown in just a couple of inches of the stuff... yes, millions of kids every year fall victim to just such accidents! Why isn't a Hazard Analysis being done?

    On a more serious note (Hint: potential future blog material here Ken) has anyone noticed the new Euro-Extinguisher colours? Imagine the scene, your place of work or favourite public space is ablaze, smoke, panic and confusion abounds... You go to locate the appropriate fire fighting extinguisher, your eyes are smarting from the smoke while you crawl along the floor breathing the acrid air. You eventually discover the rack of extinguisher... only to find they are ALL coloured RED. Gone are the black, the blue, the green, the cream or the red standards which indicated which device was suitable for a particular conflagration... Instead some euro-twerp has decided it would be a jolly jape to make them all the same bloody colour now. Still, at least your last moments on earth can be spent studying the labels... I can think of worst ways to go!


  7. Anonymous8:25 PM

    Who in their right mind would want to present their lady friend with a four-inch candle? I know quality is more important than quantity, but this is ridiculous!

  8. Anonymous11:29 AM

    The moral of this one seems to be : don't ask beforehand.

    If he'd just turned up and lit the candle during the party, it's doubtful any of the bar staff would have the balls to interfere.

  9. Anonymous9:21 AM

    When I was a kid we used to disappear from our homes early in the mornings, on school holidays and at weekends, wearing warm clothing and wellies - play jump the beck, fish, build dens, have fires, climb trees, go on bike rides, etc etc. At lunchtimes and teatimes whichever one of our houses we showed up at was where we all got fed. We'd go home about nine / nine thirty in the evening having been missing all day and our parents were not having kittens as regards our whereabouts.

    We were in the open air, in the countryside, in all weathers. It was bloody great.

    When my kids started playing computer games, I would let them do so much of it then say "switch that off now and get up on the hills and see the world outside" They are grown up now and still go walking / mountainbiking etc.

    What's the point of being on this earth if you don't go outside and look at it.

  10. Anonymous9:24 AM


    Posted on the wrong thread.

    That's what too much fresh air does for you. Be warned !

  11. Colours of fire extinguishers: in our church we had to have several, coloured according to which fire were putting out. There was one for putting out an electrical fire - quite important to be able to fing it in the dark, you might think, if all the lights had gone. That one was colour-coded black.