Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, February 08, 2010

Prats of The Week - Scottish Labour

Prats of The WeekTis a gloomy, wet Monday morning.

Another week is upon us, reappearing with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season.

Therefore my loyal readers it is time to award my prestigious, and internationally renowned, "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to Scottish Labour, who have gone to new extremes of Nannyism.

Isn't funny how Nanny's most extreme supporters all seem to reside in the Labour part of the Scottish Parliament?

Anyhoo, fresh from the recent furore over "Buckie", and the ongoing moaning and rumbles against booze, Scottish Labour have decided that caffeine mixed with booze (eg as you would find in a "Buckie") simply is the worst evil on the planet.

Their solution?

Surely you can guess?

Yes, that's right, they intend to ban (or at least restrict) caffeine in alcoholic drinks.

Strathclyde Police blame most of Scotland's drink related crime on "Buckie" (a bottle of which contains the caffeine equivalent of 8 cans of cola).

As noted before, it sound a most efficacious drink to me!

Scottish Labour health spokeswoman Jackie Baillie said:

"I believe the risks involved in consuming caffeinated alcohol are so great that the Scottish government must take action.

The research suggests you are more likely to end up in hospital or be assaulted if you drink these products


I consume, on an occasional basis, several stiff Irish coffees after a good meal drinkies. The worst that happens to me is that I don't sleep and talk a lot (quality conversation I would add).

- I do not commit violent crime.

- I do not urinate/vomit in public.

- I do not assault people.

- I do not rob people.

- I do not abuse people.

- I do not put my feet up of bus/train seats.

- I do not pass out.

It's not the drink that turns these scrotes into feral behaving scrotes, they are already feral behaving scrotes (with or without the drink).

Factoid: Buckie accounts for 0.5% of all alcoholic drinks bought in Scotland.

The law, were it to be enacted, would be unworkable.

All you have to do is, eg mix alcohol with coffee (Irish coffees) or mix it with other caffeine based drinks such as Lucozade (vodka and Lucozade is rather "peppy" actually!...Benylin and vodka is also rather efficacious). Worst case scenario, just pop a couple of Pro Plus pills before going out on the piss.

A totally unworkable and unenforceable law.

Unless, that is, Nanny is going to start testing people for blood/caffeine levels!

Will the members of Scottish Labour be giving up their coffee and liqueurs after dinner?

No, I thought not!

Scottish Labour, well deserving Prats of The Week.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Ken,

    Like you, I have never committed any crime of any description following the consumption of alcohol.....As you rightly point out, alcohol merely lowers the inhibitions and those with a prepensity to behave badly, then do so......This is why being drunk is never a defense to a criminal charge in a court of law.

    I always feel with Labour Nanny, that it is like being back at school where the whole class is punished for one kid talking or the such like.......Nanny is determined to destroy the pub industry and I see yet another anti drink advert on TV....This time Nanny suggests all drinkers will get mouth cancer....So, why does Nanny hate people gathering in pubs to have some drink so much?....Could it be because people in pubs tend to discuss things and many see through Nanny's nasty little plan?

    I see Nanny rolls out her ID cards to young adults in London as of this morning....I was listening to Clive Bull on LBC last night and one of his callers stated that once you get an ID card, you are required to keep it updated, at a cost, or you are fined?....These new ID cards and her database are the modern version of Stalin's little red book....Papers please.

    Enjoy caffeine/alcohol combos responsibly.

    Search on-line for high as a kite on coffee.

  2. Of course the big joke here is that Jackie Baillie is Scottish Labour's health spokesperson... For those who haven't come across her before, I suggest a quick Google image search, but don't blame me if you are put off your dinner!

  3. Anonymous10:52 PM

    Two years ago a young man named N*** W****** was sensible enough to take a taxi into Basingstoke town where he drank three "jugs" of vodka and Red Bull. He took a taxi home but met up with my grandson and two of his friends. He decided to get his car and take the three lads, on a high speed 'joyride' which killed two of the boys including my grandson. The driver (currently doing five years) said he'd felt sober enough to drive. I believe this was because of the caffeine in the Red Bull he'd consumed. Ban the sale of caffeine loaded alcoholic drinks. Please.

  4. Anonymous6:59 AM

    With all due respect to the above poster what were your grandchild and his friends thinking when they got into a car with a drunk driver?

    The problem with such issues is that everything but the people responsible are blamed for such tragic events.

  5. Bucko9:00 AM

    Sorry Anon, your story is a trajic one but you cant blame it on caffine in booze.
    If the chap drunk 3 jugs of vodka and red bull he KNEW he was not fit to drive, regardless of how he "felt".
    The blame lies firmly with him, not the booze.
    Banning things (anything), just ruins it for the responsible.

  6. Anom

    "I believe this was because of the caffeine in the Red Bull he'd consumed. Ban the sale of caffeine loaded alcoholic drinks."

    I am sorry for your loss. However, red bull contains zero alcohol, banning caffeine loaded alcoholic drinks would not have stopped this guy mixing red bull and vodka.

    Would you ban all caffeine non alcoholic drinks (eg red bull, coffee etc?)

    He drove because he was a piece of shit, not because of the red bull.