Queen Breaches Health and Safety Rules

The Queen is pictured still riding at 90 - and without a helmet.
That's hardcore! https://t.co/vFhDOPn0FT

— Mark Sparrow (@Markgsparrow) March 6, 2017

An elderly woman riding a horse, without wearing a helmet!

What would nanny say?

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Horsing Around

My thanks to a loyal reader who recently pointed me in the direction of a daft piece of Nanny nonsense concerning horses, Hi-Vis jackets worn by the horse rider and the words "POLITE" of "PLEASE" emblazoned across the Hi-Vis apparel.

Concerned about the number of accidents on the roads involving horses and cars etc, the British Horse Society has encouraged people to wear Hi-Vis jackets with the words "POLITE" or "PLEASE" to encourage drivers to give them some consideration etc.

Unfortunately some of the designs worn also includes a reflective blue and silver border.

Step forward the Association of Chief Police Officers, which has written to the British Horse Society warning them that the design too closely resembles the design of clothing worn by mounted policemen.

Assistant chief constable Ron Hanson, the association’s head of mounted policing, is quoted by the Mail:

"Anyone possessing these products is at risk of breaking the law, namely section 90 of the Police Act 1996.

Over recent months a number of examples of high visibility equine apparel have been brought to my attention. 

These articles have caused concern to the police on the grounds individuals wearing them are likely to be mistaken for a police officer."

I can see his point. However, unless the non police riders deliberately attempt to pass themselves off as police officers, is this not a case of an over reaction?

On the other hand, the wording and chequered borders seem somewhat unnecessary; how hard is it not to see a horse and rider in Hi-Vis?

I suspect that where accidents occur, this is either down to lousy driving or lousy horsemanship. The addition of the words "PLEASE" or "POLITE" will not make the slightest difference to such lousy driving/horsemanship.

There is of course a greater irony here, the original design was approved of by Met police commander Bob Broadhurst, the ACPO spokesman on mounted policing (my thanks to a loyal reader for pointing this out).

He is quoted by the Evening Standard as saying that the law would not be breached “provided there is no deliberate attempt to impersonate police” and added that even if the public were mistaken, the sight of people in high-visibility clothing would offer “reassurance”.

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Nanny's Hi Vis Horse

Ladies and Gentlemen you are doubtless familiar with Nanny's penchant for shrouding everyone in hi vis attire, I now give you Nanny's hi vis horse!

Seemingly, in the wake of the horsegate scandal, Nanny is worried that we may not able to recognise a horse. The next time your munching your way through a ready made lasagne, and you come across a fragment of hi vis clothing you know that the product wasn't made of beef.

Still, the hi vis wear doubtless has other uses, let's face it without such attire it would be remarkably difficult to see the horse in the middle of the road!

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Clean Up On Aisle 5!

Oh dear, this will need to be cleaned up....

On the subject of Horsegate I saw an "expert" on Channel 4 News the other night arguing that this would not have happened if food were not so cheap; ie he was arguing that food prices should increase!

Utter bollocks!

The higher the price of meat, the greater the incentive to commit fraud by substituting cheap/illegal meat.

Clearly these Nannying "experts" have no understanding of human nature.

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Nanny Bans Fizzy Sugar Water and Shite Food

I see that Nanny's chums from the medical profession are yet again hyperventilating about the dangers to our health posed by fizzy sugared water and shite processed/fast food (sans horsemeat).

The good doctors want fizzy sugared water taxed, and adverts for shite food banned until after the watershed.

The Academy of Medical Royal Colleges, which represents nearly every doctor in the UK, is worried about the obesity epidemic and wants unhealthy foods to be treated in the same way as fags.

As I have warned many times before on this site Nanny, once she has dealt with the smokers and drinkers, will come after those who eat food that she deems to be "unhealthy".

Ermmmm...horsegate anyone (did Nanny herself not serve unhealthy food to our kids?)?

It is very well, and easy, to demonise advertising and the abundance of "cheap" food for the rise in obesity in this country. However, like it or not, people are not forced to eat shite; they eat it (horsegate aside) of their own free will.

I enjoy the occasional bucket of fried chicken and fries, washed down with copious amounts of Red Stripe. Once in a while, with a balanced diet, this does no harm. However, were I to eat that everyday I would become a fat unhealthy lard bucket.

I don't eat that every day for a number of reasons:

1 I don't want to.

2 I enjoy variety in my food intake.

3 I don't wish to become a lard bucket etc.

The doctors press their case on the basis that we don't seem to be able to control ourselves, well how is it that I and a good many other people can control ourselves and not gorge ourselves to death on shite?

The doctors also worry about the cost to the NHS of treating obese people. That is true, the costs of treating obesity are rising. However, were the obese people to be made slim and healthy tomorrow by a flip of Nanny's magic wand we can assume that they would live long lives into a demented, decaying old age. Thus transferring the cost of treating them from obesity to the long term care of elderly and demented.

Sorry to say it, but Nanny knows full well that the younger you die the less you cost the state.

The doctors are failing to look at the overall picture, namely that the demands on the NHS are simply too great for it to be able to bear in its current form; the NHS is like a balloon squeeze one end (eg tackle obesity) and another pops out (ie the cost of caring for the elderly).

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Won't Someone Think of The Children?

Nanny keeps bleating that she cares about kids, if that is the case why has she fed them horsemeat in "Cottage pies" (more accurately termed "Stable pies") in numerous schools around the country?

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Back To The Future - The Horsemeat Scandal 1948

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Do Not Feed The Horses

Loyal readers with ultra long memories may recall that way back in June 2005 I wrote about how Nanny took offence to one of her horses being called gay:

"Sam Brown a student celebrating the end of his finals at Oxford happened upon a mounted police officer.

For reasons best known to himself, he asked as to whether the horse was gay.

Being a good student, when not receiving a satisfactory answer, he repeated the question a few times.

The police were not amused, and despite trying to apologise Brown found himself "nicked".

It seems that it required 6 officers to take track him down, he boldly tried to make a run for it, and bring him to justice.

A spokesman for Thames Valley Police said that the "homophobic comments" were offensive to the policeman and his horse."

It seems that seven years on, Nanny is still very sensitive when it comes to equine matters; as Francis Kelly found to his cost.

Mr Kelly was charged with causing a breach of the peace in Glasgow earlier this year.

For why?

He seemingly broke the law when he ignored police warnings and gave a sausage roll to a police horse.

Whilst it may well be that Mr Kelly was being a bit of a plonker, he claims that the horse looked hungry. Despite this, Nanny is planning to take him to court next year because in her view he behaved in a “threatening or abusive manner” by attempting to feed meat to the horse. 

Is this really an efficient use of police and the court's time and resources?

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German Nanny Kyboshed

As loyal readers know, I occasionally feature Nanny stories from outwith the UK. Thus I present to you an amusing story that I read today about how German Nanny was well and truly kyboshed.

Horse owners near Doellstaedt were denied a permit to build a shading shelter for their horses by Deutsche Nanny. 

Therefore they decided to be creative and built a gigantic wooden table and two chairs instead.

Splendid!

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