Nanny Bans De Frost

Oh dear, Nanny has banned my Dutch cousin..there's a very lame joke there folks, if you think hard about it!

OK, on with the story...

Ken Hardman was recently defrosting his car outside of his home, in Whittle-le-Woods Lancashire, and was fined £30 by Nanny for the offence of "quitting" the vehicle and leaving it vulnerable to theft.

However, Mr Hardman disputes the validity of the fine; he noted that thieves had no way of stealing his Mercedes saloon, because its windows and doors could be locked while the engine was running.

Quote:

"I heard a knock on the door at 8.20am.

The officer asked me whether the car was

mine and said that, if it was, I was committing a crime.

I think it's completely outrageous.

This fine means that I'm paying stealth charges

even though there was no way of stealing it."

A police spokesman said:

"The officer tried to offer words of advice

but the male refused to accept them.

So the officer was left with no option

but to issue a fixed penalty notice of £30.

Every year we appeal to the public not to

leave their cars running unattended on frosty

mornings as they are easy pickings for thieves."

So, let's get this straight, Mr Hardman was fined because in the view of Nanny his car might have been stolen?

Isn't that Mr Hardman's business as to how well, or badly, he safeguards his property?

Does that mean Nanny will be fining all and sundry every time she sees a risk of a car or other object of being stolen?

Is this just an excuse to make money out of us?

Big Brother

Did you have a nice Christmas and New Year?

Did you go down the pub, and sink a few?

Maybe you are thinking of popping down to the boozer tonight, for a quick one?

Well, have a care!

It seems that Nanny is sending her spies into the ordinary local, in order to keep an eye on how much we are drinking.

In Blackpool recently, Nanny's police piloted a scheme whereby undercover officers spied on patrons and bar staff.

The spying was not just for information gathering purposes re drinking habits etc, which would be bad enough, but in order to issue fines.

It seems that two bar staff were fined for serving drunk customers.

Please note that this is a pilot scheme, this means that it will be rolled out to a boozer near you in the near future.

So, the question is, what constitutes "drunk" in Nanny's eyes?

-Falling flat on your face?

-Walking in a wobbly line?

-Speaking loudly about how you hate the state?

-Would Nanny care to provide us with a definition of "drunk"?

Nice to see that the police in Blackpool have nothing better to do!

Knobheads

I can only describe Brighton and Hove council as being utter knobheads, in relation to this sorry tale of woe.

Priscilla Thomas, an elderly woman, had her rubbish collection stopped at the end of last year because Nanny's knobheads in the council decreed that a four-inch step outside her home was a health and safety hazard.

The "good old" Health and Safety Gestapo are on the march again!

Mrs Thomas was told that unless she lowered her wheelie bin down the step, and on to the pavement herself, her rubbish bags would not be collected by binmen.

Errmmm...so let's get this straight?

The council believe that a lady of 76 (5ft tall and only 6 stone in weight) is in better shape to move a wheelie bin around, rather than a couple of fit younger binmen?

Are the members of Brighton and Hove council taking the piss here?

Mrs Thomas said:

"I live on a hill and if I try to roll

the bin out into the street for them to collect,

it might overbalance and spill rubbish everywhere.

What more can I do?

It's bureaucracy gone out of control."

After a considerable amount of negative publicity, the knobheads in the council relented and have said that they will deal with it.

A spokesman for the council was quoted in December:

"We apologise for the problems that have

unfortunately occurred with Mrs Thomas's

refuse collection and the inconvenience

this has caused her."

Now can someone please tell me:

-What use are farking local councils?

-What are they there for?

-Why do we pay council tax?

Nanny Bans Photos

Oh dear, Nanny does seem to be having trouble these days with the once taken for granted right of the British citizen and Japanese tourist to take photographs of whatever they want.

Mandy Smith found this out to her cost, at the tail end of last year, when she tried to take of a photo of something that Nanny has forbidden to be photographed.

What was Miss Smith trying to photograph?

-A nuclear missile?

No!

-Gordon Brown Smiling?

No!

-The MOD?

No!

I will tell you.

Miss Smith and her partner were out with their 11 month old daughter, playing on the swings in Alexandra Park Oldham.

Wanting to capture the moment, Miss Smith reached for her camera to photograph her daughter playing on the swings.

Big mistake!

As if by magic a park warden appeared, and ordered them to stop taking photographs; even though the shot was only of their daughter, they were her parents and no other children were in shot (or indeed even present)....why the latter point should matter anyway is beyond me.

Nonplussed, Mr Parkie informed them that it was "illegal" to take pictures of children there.

Nanny's chums in Oldham Council claim that it was a "mistake". A spokesman for Oldham Council said parks staff were trained to spot inappropriate behaviour. However, the warden had "interpreted policy incorrectly".

Haven't we heard that excuse before from Nanny's jobsworths, only the other day?

HMRC Resignation or "Planned Departure"

Fun and games at the HMRC today, re the departure of Stuart Cruickshank (the CFO) after only one year in orifice.

See today's articles (8th January 2007) on www.hmrcisshite.com for the full monty.

What a mess!

Nanny's Family Planning Advice