Educashun

Question:

"Many people observe the stars using:

A a telescope
B a microscope
C an X-ray tube
D a synthesiser?"

Congratulations, if you can answer the above correctly you are well on your way to achieving a grade in Nanny's new dumbed down science exams.

The only trouble is you will be qualified to do fark all!

Nanny has told examiners to set easier questions in some GCSE science papers. The Joint Council for Qualifications (JCQ), says that exam papers should consist of 70% "low-demand questions".

A nation of thickos is born!

In the past five years, the proportion of students gaining a grade D or better in one of the combined science papers has leapt from 39.6% to 46.7%.

Nanny says that the two tier method will ensure that everyone has the opportunity to show what they are capable of, without being thrown off course by questions that are too hard or too easy.

But what's the farking point of awarding a qualification to everyone?

You still need to stream people in some way, so that the best are put into the best universities and the best jobs.

A convoy moves at the speed of the slowest ship, by catering to the dim instead of challenging them Nanny is depriving the more able of their chance to push their boundaries.

Jim Sinclair, the JCQ director, said:

"Part of the desire is that the student

can come out of the exam with a feeling of

success that they have actually tackled

a significant proportion of the questions,

and achieved the best grade expected.

The vast majority of candidates taking this

exam are going to achieve grades D to G,

and they deserve a positive experience of science.

They can only have that by being allowed to

attempt questions which are at their level.

It is making exams accessible to candidates."

What a load of bollocks!

Exams are not the Oprah Winfrey show, designed to make students feel good about themselves. Exams are there to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to stop morons being put into positions that far exceed their abilities.

PERIOD!

Regrettably the current morons in government seem to have bypassed the streaming system.

Fag Off

Nothing brings a lump (or something like that) to my throat more than when I read of ever alert council employees doing their bit to protect the environment.

As such my cockles (can I say cockles?) were thoroughly warmed when I read this story (a month old...sorry about that), about a council employee from Grimsby handing out a £50 fine to couple for littering.

Quite right too!

The only trouble being that they hadn't littered at all...they looked as though they might litter.

Donna Jackson and boyfriend Mark Hewitt were having a fag outside a shop, when they were given a fine for £50 on the basis that they looked as though they would litter.

Donna said:

"We were gobsmacked because it was so ridiculous,

so in protest we both then threw our cigarette ends

on the floor.

We thought if we are going to be fined,

we might as well get our money's worth."

A warden said in theory smokers could be fined for flicking ash.

You have been warned!

Nanny will now get you for intent to commit a crime, even if Nanny can't prove it.

ASBO's 'R Us

Between 1999 and 2005 7,356 ASBO's were issued.

The figure now runs at over 4,000 per year.

Are we feeling any safer?

Have the yobs been banished from our streets?

Errrmmm...no!

ASBO's are just another example of Nanny's eye catching "solutions", that don't work, to complex problems.

Booze on The Box

Nanny's chums in Alcohol Concern are getting themselves rather worked up about booze adverts on TV. Specifically they are concerned about the thousands of children who are exposed to alcohol commercials during popular television shows, such as the Simpsons, Home and Away and "Corrie".

Needless to say, Alcohol Concern want all booze adverts banned before 9pm.

Alcohol Concern chief executive Srabani Sen said:

"A watershed ban is the only way to give parents

the peace of mind of knowing that their children

can be kept safe from the influence of advertising."

The above point fails to address the realities of life in the real world:

• Children watch TV after 9PM



• Booze is featured in many TV programmes eg Corrie, the Simpsons etc. No doubt they will then call for booze to be banned from the Simpsons.



• The teenagers who are "running amok" on booze don't need TV to encourage them to drink



• The parents of the teenagers who are running amok, know full well that they are running amok but have abrogated their responsibility as parents



• To hide something away as "adult" makes it even more appealing to children. I well remember as a teenager whenever BBC2 showed an "adult" foreign film, viewing figures amongst my peer group (not normally interested in French/Swedish culture) would rocket



• Kids drink because they are given the money to buy the stuff, cut back on their allowances and they won't be able to afford it.

Seems to me the recommendation by Nanny's chums is naive in the extreme.

Patronising Bastards!

Our old "friends" in the Health and Safety Gestapo are up to their old tricks again.

This time they have put their interfering size 10's into the positioning of a bench for a bus stop.

Helen Greenough and Vera Clews had been badgering Stoke-on-Trent City Council for two years to install a bench, so that they could rest their legs as they waited at their nearest bus stop.

Two years on, and it finally arrived.

One small problem, the dimwits in the council (local councils, what are they good for?) installed it back to front; so that it faces a hedge, rather than the road.

The elderly passengers who use the bust stop are getting stiff necks from having to look over their shoulders all the time, to see if the bus is coming. When they do spot the bus, they often can't get round the bench quickly enough in order to catch it.

Now why did Stoke-on-Trent City Council put the bench back to front?

Health and Farking Safety!

Quote:

"The bench was put in this position

because it would be dangerous to have it facing the road.

Some elderly people are unsteady on their feet

and would risk falling into the road or getting

splashed if it was facing the road."

For fark's sake!

How many elderly people are falling over in front of buses in this country?

Mrs Greenough and Mrs Clews said the position of the bench on the Leek Road was "ridiculous". Mrs Greenough, 84, said it had become a "laughing stock".

Quote:

"We are nearly all pensioners on this road

and the bus only comes every 85 minutes

so you can be waiting a long time.

I've been on at the council for almost

two years trying to get this bench put in,

but if they can't do it right then they might

as well take it away.

There is nothing wrong with me,

I'm perfectly capable of getting on a bus without

falling into the road.

We are not all doddery old dears".

Nanny and her minions really are a bunch of patronising bastards!

By the way, it cost £50 to fix the bench in place. However, in order for it to be turned around it will cost £1000.

What a great country we live in!

Fat is Good

Nanny has been shrilly telling the nation of the dangers of fat in our diet. She has been going on about this for so long, that a large percentage of the population has become somewhat obsessive over what they eat.

Fair enough, so long as they keep their obsessions to themselves. Unfortunately they don't, these obsessives are inflicting their beliefs on their children.

Here comes the rub....

Dr John Kostyak, and a team from the Pennsylvania State University, warned in the online magazine Nutrition Journal that "muesli mothers" who are inflicting their low fat obsessions on their children are in fact damaging their childrens' health.

The study noted that children burn considerably more body fat than adults, relative to the amount of energy that they use. The obsessive parents who eliminate good fats, such as olive oil and sunflower oil, are putting their child's natural development in jeopardy.

Quote:

"Sufficient fat must be included in the diet for children to support normal growth and development."

Rachel Cooke, a spokeswoman for the British Dietetic Association, says that a healthy diet should consist of about 30% fats, mainly unsaturated from plant sources, and that getting less "might mean that children miss out on vital nutrients, essential fatty acids and fat-soluble vitamins A, D and E that are vital for good health".

Hah!

Told you!

Remember folks, the body is like a car engine. Engines need oil to lubricate the working parts, so does the body; fat is a great lubricant, it ensures that the blood flows freely through the veins.

Happy eating!