It looks like I had my pre Christmas piss up just in time last week, as Nanny has just issued a warning leaflet explaining all manners of dangers presented by the forthcoming binge/bloat fest officially known as Christmas.Gosh had I read the leaflet, I would never have ventured out last Friday!
FNAAAR!
Anyhoo, Nanny safety leaflet (issued in the form of an Advent style calendar) warns about the dangers of gravy "exploding" in microwaves, pissed people falling over (gosh!) and Christmas tree baubles.
Nanny's knobheads from Ed Balls' Department for Children, Schools and Families have issued 150,000 of the leaflets called "Tis The Season To Be Careful". I have no idea why they think this will help people enjoy Christmas.
Why oh why do we allow these people to remain in government?
Anyhoo, my advice to you all is to ignore Nanny and have it large this Christmas!
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"
Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!
Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries
Nanny-State Nonsense though this is, I think we should be grateful to them for sharing with us the potential lethality of the Holiday Household.
ReplyDeleteIn that spirit, and to aid them in their endeavours, I've taken the liberty of publishing a further pamphlet, also called 'Tis The Season To Be Careful' with the kind assistance of the Bethlehem Branch of RoSPA.
After all, we can't be too careful or too safe, can we?
A very merry, busybody-free Christmas to one and all.
D
He clearly thinks we are all children....Perhaps he should be minister for the bleeding obvious.
ReplyDeleteWell, today over here in Soviet Canuckistan the temp is -15 Celsius.
ReplyDeleteThe wind is blowing stink from the North and the local Health Authority has issued a Cold Weather Alert.
This is to advise us that it is cold.
Thank goodness for nanny to advise me it's cold.
I would not have had a clue without nanny's advice.
Have at it large:
ReplyDeleteI just brought home an 11 pound Prime Rib.
To be snarfed with some Shiraz and roasted potatoes and Yorkshire pudding and mushroom and red wine gravy.
I hope nanny enjoys her tofu and over cooked asparagus.
Feh!
Exploding gravy should be the last thing to worry Nanny. She should be concentrating on the pending implosion of ZanuLabour when the doo-da hits the fan at the next election.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, everyone!
Well with the shocking news that the average christmas dinner contains a whole 11g of salt (Consensus Action on Salt and Health )I say eat drink and be merry as obviously your heart will explode and you will be dead by boxing day anyway no matter how volitile your gravy is
ReplyDeleteJust out of curiosity, any idea how many fatalities in the UK have resulted from exploding gravy?
ReplyDeleteAnyhoo, Merry Christmas!