Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, December 22, 2008

A Christmas Tale

Happy Christmas
Tis the season to be jolly etc, and ignore all of Nanny's advice.

In the spirit of the season, a member of the Nanny Knows Best team (ie me) took his dear old (86 years to be precise) uncle out for lunch last Friday.

I highly commend Maggie Jones's, a favourite spot of mine.

Rest assured a good time was had by all, and copious quantities of food and booze were consumed!

Despite consuming and elegant sufficiency I still managed to transport myself back home to Brighton later in the evening, without any of the following:

- falling over
- the use of the emergency services to sober me up, detox me, or arrest me
- vomiting in any public/private place
- being lewd, crude, obnoxious etc
- putting my feet up on the seat of the train
- robbing or assaulting anyone

Now if I can manage to behave in a vaguely civilised manner, despite having consumed a vast quantity of food and drink, how come our youngsters (and those who should know better) who have been Nannyfied since birth cannot?

Season's greetings folks.

Have it large this year!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Anonymous11:22 AM

    A Very happy Christmas and New Year to you and your family, Ken. I'm glad you and your uncle had such a good time.
    I should also like to wish all those who contribute opinions to this website a great Christmas and all thebest for 2009 too.
    Remember, 'nil carborundum desperandum' ('Don't let the b******s grind you into the ground!')

  2. Anonymous11:35 AM

    Merry Christmas to you and yours and to all!!

    Now Ken, if you did not exhibit any of the "normal" behaviours associated with over indulgence, (Robbing, vomiting, feet on seats etc) one can only assume you must have been unconscious:-))

  3. Anonymous11:42 AM

    Happy Christmas Ken - Oh God! You won't report me to Nanny for using the banned word "C*ristmas", will you? Keep up the good work exposing and ridiculing Nanny and all her works!

  4. Anonymous11:56 AM

    Here, Here!

  5. Anonymous12:40 PM

    Merry Christmas to you and yours,and to all the commenters here.


  6. Anonymous6:35 PM

    Ho, ho, ho!

    Merry Christmas boys and girls!

    Good to know you’re ‘There, there’ Lord of Atlantis but I think you meant ‘Hear, hear’.

    Anyway. Can’t stop. It’s a very busy time of year for me.

    Merry Christmas!

    Ho, ho, ho!

  7. Anonymous10:24 PM

    Just in case I upset anybody by using the "C" word, I'll wish Ken and all contributors a very merry Yuletide. New Year's Resolution Numero Uno: Throw as many spanners as possible into Nanny's works.

  8. What can I say, a very very happy Christmas (still had to use a cap even though he wasn't born in December) or yuletide, mid winter festival. pagan festival to let the gods know that you want sunshine and flowers doesn't f.....g matter Ken, it is all good fun.

    Ken, I absolutely thoroughly enjoy this here blog of yours, even if you do have an old fashioned name which has also been associated with Barbie. Please don't stop (as the actress said to the Bishop) I need this daily fix in 2009.

    Thanks again x

  9. merry chmas..hapy new year..
    visit me too at

  10. Merry Christmas to you both Ken.. I love your site :)

  11. Ken,

    Some years ago, my mother's aunt was visiting for the holidays. On Christmas morning, she commented upon the chill and asked me if I might get her a glass of sherry.

    "Aunt Jonnie," I replied, "if you're cold I can turn up the thermostat."

    She cast me in her withering stare and said, "Yes, alright, but first get the glass of sherry."

    I suspect that Nanny would not have approved (as I've said, it wasn't yet noon).

    Despite Aunt Jonnie's studied indifference to Nanny's injunctions (during the Prohibition era she had a distinct fondness for "bathtub gin"), the old girl (a retired nurse) lived well into her 90s, laughing at Nanny and her mindless minions all the way.

    Happy Winterval!

  12. Anonymous8:09 PM

    Happy Christmas and an EU free New year to you and yours!

  13. Anonymous3:59 PM

    Ken, Here's wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas.

    So Have a great time, eat, drink and to hell with the do-gooders who say we shouldn't